SSRIs and libido

[tostadora]

Hi!

this is a bit off-topic, sorry, bur I feel it belongs here somehow.

My gf takes SSRI medication for her depression, and that kills her libido. We have sex, and she turns on, but no matter how much time we spend on her, she doesn't climax, as she told me the other day. She even tried not taking her pills for a couple days, and was really near, but in the end it came down before orgasm.

So I'm wondering what I or she can do, apart from relaxing and having fun, because I'm sure that if you focus so much on orgasm, it'll never come.

I'm also feel a bit guilty, because I'm having orgasms, and she's not.

 

[Chaos Mind]

First of all: was she able to climax before she started her medication?

So I'm wondering what I or she can do, apart from relaxing and having fun, because I'm sure that if you focus so much on orgasm, it'll never come.

That's exactly the point. Maybe the medication is only a little problem that stuck with her. It's easy to blame a "magical substance" for alterations in your sexuality. But our body isn't that simple. There are dozens of different influences on our sexuality and they all work together. My best guess would be: without the SSRI stuff she would have been able to come and she felt how things became easier (because she supposed it was going to), but then she actually wanted it too much and it collapsed.

I'm also feel a bit guilty, because I'm having orgasms, and she's not.

I understand that. Many men think that way...it's a sign of respectfulness. But let me raise the question: supposed she is not able to orgasm. What what she prefer...you quitting before you E or you finishing?

I once asked my gf, who is only able to come when she's on top, why she didn't always want to end with that position. She said that sometimes she NEEDS her finish. When that's the case, she wants to be egoistic and that's fine to me because I do enjoy it when she climaxes of course. And sometimes she'd say it's enough to feel me. She states that the second best thing about sex is when I come. Maybe your gf is any like mine and she's not only happy for you, but likes it when you finish. That doesn't mean she should not keep on trying. But relax a little about that topic and see when it happens. Until that it should not be forbidden to have as much fun as the two of you like.

 

[tostadora]

Chaos Mind,

thanks for the reply. Yeah, I think that you're right. My girlfriend likes very much when I finish, and it's probably the second best thing for her. Anyway, I'm trying to surprise her into unexpected sex and maybe that way she can relax.

Thanks again.