Hello every partner: Glad to join you!
I am 42 yrs old and learned how to masturbate since I was at junior high school, so it has been almost 30 years. To be honest, boys or young men always attract me a lot more than girls, but I do not really identify myself as a 100% gay partially because I never imagine or hope to have a male sex partner or boyfriend, and neither have I imagined that I have sex with a male. Sometimes I think it is due to my low self-confidence and bad self-image. I hate to see myself into the mirror and hate to take pictures for myself, because I have a lot of scars and holes in my face skin caused by acne which embarrasses me always. I like to see handsome boys and men probably because I envy them and want to be part of them, while watching girls usually makes me shy and embarrassed since I think they must dislike an ugly man like me.
Based on the above, i like the porn having good-looking males (making love with women) but I never hope that I can have sex with them. However, I am addicted to porn and masturbation. Before the junior high school life I was quite bold and outgoing, but I became an introvert and easy to stammer after that, which bothers me so much. I always have difficulties to get along with people well. I am a "yes" man, since saying no to others is horrible to me. Every time I get frustrations related to low confidence, I jump into the porn and masturbation to look for comfort and relief, and of course doing so gives me nothing but a short temporary pleasure.
Recently I came across the noFAP site and found that many people face similar problems and take the journey to quit PMO. I also learned from a coach that porn changes our brain to make us weak, less impatient, anxious and even insomnia, which are all the symptoms of me. To conquer the anxiety disease and insomnia I have taken pills for more than 10 years. Life looks so hopeless and meaningless although I act as normal in front of my friends and colleagues. I have made my mind to quit PMO in order to reverse my life, and I sincerely hope to work together with everyone here. Thanks a lot!
Sincerely, tibicos
I am 42 yrs old and learned how to masturbate since I was at junior high school, so it has been almost 30 years. To be honest, boys or young men always attract me a lot more than girls, but I do not really identify myself as a 100% gay partially because I never imagine or hope to have a male sex partner or boyfriend, and neither have I imagined that I have sex with a male. Sometimes I think it is due to my low self-confidence and bad self-image. I hate to see myself into the mirror and hate to take pictures for myself, because I have a lot of scars and holes in my face skin caused by acne which embarrasses me always. I like to see handsome boys and men probably because I envy them and want to be part of them, while watching girls usually makes me shy and embarrassed since I think they must dislike an ugly man like me.
Based on the above, i like the porn having good-looking males (making love with women) but I never hope that I can have sex with them. However, I am addicted to porn and masturbation. Before the junior high school life I was quite bold and outgoing, but I became an introvert and easy to stammer after that, which bothers me so much. I always have difficulties to get along with people well. I am a "yes" man, since saying no to others is horrible to me. Every time I get frustrations related to low confidence, I jump into the porn and masturbation to look for comfort and relief, and of course doing so gives me nothing but a short temporary pleasure.
Recently I came across the noFAP site and found that many people face similar problems and take the journey to quit PMO. I also learned from a coach that porn changes our brain to make us weak, less impatient, anxious and even insomnia, which are all the symptoms of me. To conquer the anxiety disease and insomnia I have taken pills for more than 10 years. Life looks so hopeless and meaningless although I act as normal in front of my friends and colleagues. I have made my mind to quit PMO in order to reverse my life, and I sincerely hope to work together with everyone here. Thanks a lot!
Sincerely, tibicos
