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Hopeful for Recovery
- Thread starter Mal
- Start date
joe_ireland
Member
67 days, well done!
Thanks for the kind words guys. Recently it feels like the urge has started to get stronger. Temptation though is now not so much for full on porn but for bikini or glamor type nudes. I've largely resisted this because I know if indulge it will kick me back down the rabbit hole.
Morning erections have been getting stronger and more regular but I still don't feel much of a difference. The difference though that matters is probably the changes in my brain. Hopefully as I break down some long held habits and get over my performance anxiety things will work as they should when I get married in July.
Morning erections have been getting stronger and more regular but I still don't feel much of a difference. The difference though that matters is probably the changes in my brain. Hopefully as I break down some long held habits and get over my performance anxiety things will work as they should when I get married in July.
Mal said:Thanks for the kind words guys. Recently it feels like the urge has started to get stronger. Temptation though is now not so much for full on porn but for bikini or glamor type nudes. I've largely resisted this because I know if indulge it will kick me back down the rabbit hole.
Rightly so, it should be avoided.
Mal, I've been where you are now. Exactly the same place. Help yourself with my journal (especially the beginning).
Two issues spring to my mind when I read your post:
1. Definition of pornography. There are many and some point to the fact that P should be very explicit in nature to be classified as P, otherwise its "erotica" and so on. I think we should adopt the broad definition which says that pornography is anything that is used as a sexual stimulant. It's broad, yes, but it captures the issue. The unfortunate truth is that we
can look at other women, not least pics of them, only as means of stimulating ourselves sexually. Any such stimulation will give you dopamine kicks, which you should avoid. Because we're not addicted to P, we're addicted to dopamine.
So bikini or glamour type nudes are no different than hardcore P films. Only the former with time are less stimulating and you have to move to stronger types.
2. Marriage. I've been in that moment of yours. It is very difficult. It is a stressful moment. Even if you love your fiancee a lot, you are most likely having doubts of various nature, and frankly speaking subconsciously thinking about the women that you are NOT marrying. Someone might have a laugh about it, but any serious guy will have thoughs coming on to him and nagging. It's nothing easy and no one will tread that road for you.
Of course, the fact that you are in a reboot is not helping in that situation. I just want you to know you have my support and I am very willing to share my experiences with you.
Last, but not least, I recommend this film (first window):
http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series
Thanks for the resources, much appreciated. I'll def give that video a look.
Reading what you posted has been helpful. Its funny how the temptation now has moved back to what it was originally when I started looking at online porn years ago on dial up: glamor nudes. I'll take your words to heart and I've also gone so far at this reboot attempt as to not watch stuff like Game of Thrones or similar shows/movies because I want to really want to break through this and mindful avoidance helps a lot. Which sucks because I really want to go see Ex Machina but it apparently has a bunch of nudity.
My fiancee and I have had frank discussions about some things I am anxious about and she's been incredibly understanding about it all and admitted some of her own porn use in the past. Nothing like my former daily use but she dabbled from time to time. Im not just doing this reboot for me, Im doing it for her too. This has been really motivating and has been in some cases the one thing that has kept me from opening my laptop to the sites I used to visit.
Reading what you posted has been helpful. Its funny how the temptation now has moved back to what it was originally when I started looking at online porn years ago on dial up: glamor nudes. I'll take your words to heart and I've also gone so far at this reboot attempt as to not watch stuff like Game of Thrones or similar shows/movies because I want to really want to break through this and mindful avoidance helps a lot. Which sucks because I really want to go see Ex Machina but it apparently has a bunch of nudity.
My fiancee and I have had frank discussions about some things I am anxious about and she's been incredibly understanding about it all and admitted some of her own porn use in the past. Nothing like my former daily use but she dabbled from time to time. Im not just doing this reboot for me, Im doing it for her too. This has been really motivating and has been in some cases the one thing that has kept me from opening my laptop to the sites I used to visit.
Four more days until I hit 90 days. In some ways I feel good about abstaining from PMO, I feel like I have better control and that makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something. By the time I get married I'll have around 120 days of no PMO. I've recently started to exercise again hiking, walking, running, etc. and that has been great.
I get a bit discouraged when I read other accounts of guys who seemed to bounce back instantly as I don't feel like I am. I know that the changes are biological and neurological and that I won't know to what extent my brain has rewired until I have sex again. It's been a few years and the last time things didn't go so well. Dr. says that any difficulties are probably mental as physically I'm fine.
I get a bit discouraged when I read other accounts of guys who seemed to bounce back instantly as I don't feel like I am. I know that the changes are biological and neurological and that I won't know to what extent my brain has rewired until I have sex again. It's been a few years and the last time things didn't go so well. Dr. says that any difficulties are probably mental as physically I'm fine.
Thanks you! Probably one of the most difficult things I've ever done. It's so hard to untrain yourself from years of habit and I'm very very aware I'm not out of the woods and only a few click away from falling off the wagon.
Glad I made it but now I need to buckle down and hit another 90. If I did it once I can do it again.
Glad I made it but now I need to buckle down and hit another 90. If I did it once I can do it again.