Sanju
Member
@Afb7 - I wasn't sure how that might be translated by someone else.. sometimes I tend to ramble out my thoughts like that. But I'm glad it made sense to you! You're very right about pain being a big part of our lives and how our natural tendency is to respond negatively to it which puts us in a bad place. I used to be so envious of friends I had that seemed to glide through life without any worries or problems. I would ask myself why everything in my life seemed to go wrong while people I was close to always had the sun shining down on them. But what I eventually realized is that it wasn't that they never had any problems, it's that they created their own pattern of responding positively to their pain and losses. I saw them as unrealistic optimists that just always got lucky, but their optimism over time actually became their reality. They are also some of the most grateful people I know. Anyway, I think that's kinda what you're sayin.
@FlyPheonix - I think you mentioned this before and I had never really thought about the significance of it but it's been on my mind a lot. What a great discovery. I know this will be a big help to me in the days ahead. Thank you!
Well, last night was garbage night. As I began to round up the trash from the kitchen and the bathrooms I remembered that I had been meaning to get rid of some PB magazines that have been sitting in box in my room. Even though I hadn't so much as glanced at them in almost a year, I've been reluctant to throw them out. It seems weird but I felt a strange attachment to them. Like memorabilia that I didn't want to let go. And it's not like they were anything special. Maybe in the 90's they would be considered racy and taboo, but in fact, these days they're considered more main stream and 'classy' than anything. But I think as Gabe Deem said 'leaving these things around is like leaving a time bomb waiting to go off. It's all gotta go.' And right he is. So in the trash they went! So long magazines of lies and deception! I won't miss you because I'll be too busy enjoying living my life.
So today was a good day and I was able to stay mostly busy to keep my wandering mind occupied. I made dinner and ate by myself on the patio watching the sunset and listening to the wind blowing through the trees. It was so calming that even after I finished eating and it was dark I still sat there for a few more minutes just taking it all in. I don't think I would have appreciated something like this before the reboot. It felt strangely like being a kid again and remembering that there is this whole amazing world out there waiting to be explored and experienced.
@FlyPheonix - I think you mentioned this before and I had never really thought about the significance of it but it's been on my mind a lot. What a great discovery. I know this will be a big help to me in the days ahead. Thank you!
Well, last night was garbage night. As I began to round up the trash from the kitchen and the bathrooms I remembered that I had been meaning to get rid of some PB magazines that have been sitting in box in my room. Even though I hadn't so much as glanced at them in almost a year, I've been reluctant to throw them out. It seems weird but I felt a strange attachment to them. Like memorabilia that I didn't want to let go. And it's not like they were anything special. Maybe in the 90's they would be considered racy and taboo, but in fact, these days they're considered more main stream and 'classy' than anything. But I think as Gabe Deem said 'leaving these things around is like leaving a time bomb waiting to go off. It's all gotta go.' And right he is. So in the trash they went! So long magazines of lies and deception! I won't miss you because I'll be too busy enjoying living my life.
So today was a good day and I was able to stay mostly busy to keep my wandering mind occupied. I made dinner and ate by myself on the patio watching the sunset and listening to the wind blowing through the trees. It was so calming that even after I finished eating and it was dark I still sat there for a few more minutes just taking it all in. I don't think I would have appreciated something like this before the reboot. It felt strangely like being a kid again and remembering that there is this whole amazing world out there waiting to be explored and experienced.
