purging the junk

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daws

Member
Approaching 18 days. Three weeks is all I lasted last time I tried a reboot. Strange to think all my adult life and teens I have not gone longer that that without stimulating my self through images of women.  I have not known any different. Crazy!! I think the three week mark is where my reboot begins for real and hope it will act as a tail wind and propel me deep into reboot. The initial high of the first weeks gave way to a few instances of checking out some kinky imagery followed by a renewed determination to see this through.  90 days is the target, but I think of it like when people say you only learn to drive after you've passed your test. I'm gonna say the same will be for after 90 days of rebooting.... learning to live with a new agenda, mindset and approach to life.  long way to goooooo though

All the best folks :)
 
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Alive Today

Member
Hi Daws, Wow I am new to this but everything you have described from chemical imbalances in your brain to feeling the strain of 15 days no masturbation or as I call it (MASS-DISTURBED-NATION)!!!!! :) is so what I have felt and feel both in present and past.
I commend you on your efforts to go 4 weeks and beyond. A truly gallant effort :) considering your issues with cam-girls etc.
You are a Warrior and will keep fighting on regardless!
I too have suffered as mentioned but am trying very hard to get Porn, Prostitutes and disregard for my mind,body and soul out of my life.

Don't beat your-self up and give your-self a chance


Good luck DAWS and keep going :)
 
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daws

Member
Thanks man. Nice words. Fortunately relapsed by using my phone. But feeling good. Just carry on with the programme. nothing bad happened apart from perving over a cam girl or two.  Getting stronger in my mind, just hangovers that set me off. i know the trigger now
 
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Alive Today

Member
Did you mean Unfortunately? Either way you are on 2 days in a row now so best of luck again. You relapsed... No biggy and furthermore it doesn't matter if you do. We are human, as long as you know when to stop. There is another way how i attack my lust for paying for call girls.... I think if i can pay $80 for one then i can treat myself to something nice instead. Jeans, jacket, shoes.... Whatever :) try it when you get the lust for cam-girls. Anyway keep me posted your story is interesting. Good luck!
 
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daws

Member
yes i meant unfortunately mate! my biggest point of weekness is a hangover day. my brain reverts to just wanting cam girls. the other day i was hungover and when i woke i just M's think of my girlfriend. Got it out of the way and felt good. it helped to stay away from porn so i may play this card when i need to.
 
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daws

Member
I've been relapsing and not really doing anything about it. It's got to stop so here I am. I've been using maybe once a week and have done just now. Back to the drawing board. Will start again and win this time. I kind of justify my porn use just before I do it. It's only once. Not a big problem. But it is!!!!!
 
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daws

Member
Yesterday had a stressful day with a job interview.  Nearly went at it when i got home, but cooled down and forgot about it.  Read a great post from a woman today about how she and her husband had got back on track. All of it rang true. This problem is not just about me, but people in my life and me adding value and happiness to their lives. Be it with my girlfriend or just being a more switched on, better person to have around and be with
 
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new leaf

New Member
Hey Daws, new guy here. Haven't started my own journal yet but I'm on my 2nd or 3rd attempt at no relapse.

I'm posting in your thread because I'm about the same age and I recognize your triggers. Hangover days are usually the culprit for me too. My last relapse was pretty hard, started with just some nudey pics but inevitably ended in some pretty hardcore stuff. The next day I felt terrible, emotionally and mentally drained. The mental images left in my head and hard drive made me think to myself "self you're a sick fucker for looking at that".

I did abstain long enough, about two weeks, to feel the benefits once. Then bam. Hangover, weak mind, lack of drive, and relapse.

I can almost count on a hangover weekly. That's not changing soon so we've got to figure out a way to stay on track when we're down.
 
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daws

Member
Hi new leaf. Ye i can count on one hangover type situation almost weekly. I like to go out and rightly as you say this wont change. I was out last night so today could end up with the usual out come. It has crossed my mind today but not enough to act on it. Im just not gonna go near the computer today. Watch some tv and then get out of the house. I dont think i will have a problem today. Im omly a week in. 3 weeks is the point where i cave in to the thought of cam girls. Anything i learn along the way i'll post up. Just try and push the thoughts away when they come in to your head. A sort of meditation to keep your mind free. Recognise the urge and then let it go and leave your head. Good luck my friend
 
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daws

Member
Been relapsing again. But this week i've been viewing the usual escorts listing and can girls and M'ing but feeling so guilty i've not been O'ing and turning it off. This is crazy!! I think if i'd seen the right girl with the right pair of %@$S i would be resetting this counter.

all the best folks
 
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