sodonewithit
Active Member
The reboot certainly can't hurt and even if it does nothing it will do something. I can't express the difference in myself and in those who post here.
Spree's Journal
- Thread starter spree
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Jimmy James
Active Member
The reboot is necessary regardless of whether or not this relationship works out.
Not sure if anyone has tried man 1 man oil? I've been using it for like 4 days and man I think that stuff is pretty good so far, I mean I can feel a difference in sensation lately since starting it. I'm going to see her tomorrow and I think that tomorrow we will probably attempt sex. Feeling pretty optimistic.
I just wanted to say I've had a similar experience. Got a beautiful girlfriend. 1st time we had sex I came in like 30sec. After I was a rockstar. Learning her and she's learning me but performing pretty well. To the point to where she's like this is the best sex she ever had. Then, we had a week or two apart and guess what? My dumb butt PMO'd. Just couldn't wait. When we get back together, I'm sputtering. Same as you. Get it hard during kidding and foreplay. Hard enough to penetrate easily. Then I get soft. And I got soft like right before she is about to cum. She's pissed. This happened like three times in a row. Either I came quick or didn't cum but just got soft. I could get hard from head, but not vaginal sex. We took a little break from sex. She was just like, if we were t friends, I would dump you. Fortunately, we developed a two year friendship prior to any sexual activity. We like and sort of depend on each other emotionally. So she's being patient. Now, I'm good again. I did get some Viagra and cialis. I don't really need it though. I just used it when my performance anxiety is at a high level. It works, but after a use I'm fine. Almost like I just need to get my confidence back. Just relax. Like another poster said, time is the only fix. The process works, just have faith in complete abstinence from PMO. And when trying to cum, try not to think of porno flicks. Just relax, feel your woman, think of your affection for her, listen to her moans...soon this will be the stuff that gets you off and not porn flashbacks. Hope this makes any sense.
Had a very good night last night. Almost perfect. Found out my adderal is probably part of the problem at least for the time being. Didnt take it yesterday on purpose and last night sex was amazing. Still didnt cum but was very very close and had sex repeatedly over a four hour period. Got hard and sustained for very long periods each time. Did lose it eventually, but a few of them were just being worn out. Came so close to climax that I thought for sure I was going to. She came a ridiculous amount of time and she didnt trip at all ab me not cumming. Im really confident that I'll have success very soon. I really think the man oil is helping. I have a dramatic change in sensation. Im just really hoping that eventually I can finish even if I took adderal that day bc if I have to completely get off addy that will negatively impact work.
Either way staying optimistic.
Either way staying optimistic.
Had success last night. Great night overall, celebrating her birthday bc sunday when it's her actual birthday she'll have her children, it's too early in the relationship for that integration so we went out last night. After we came home we had sex several times and on the third time I climaxed for the first time with her. Not sure what to expect now though, we tried to have sex again this morning but no O. I'm sure it will be a process but having success really should help keep her calmer. Things are great with us right now. Hopefully progress continues.
Today no such luck. Had sex yesterday and today, made her cum several times both times. And today I felt like I was going to cum but never made it and when I didn't I went soft. I'm more than satisfying her, but today she got kinda pissy when I couldn't cum. Wish I could just regain a little more sensitivity quicker. I mean the sex feels great I'm just not sensitive enough.
Jimmy James
Active Member
Stick with the reboot Spree. Don't give up when things don't go as well as you would like. You have only been here 3 weeks. You know that it can take 90 days or more. Continue to talk to her about it. Spend lots of non-sexual time with her.
It's not easy with her. She wants it all the time and don't get me wrong, I love that she does. But we had a pretty bad setback yesterday. Not really sure why but yesterday I just couldn't hold erection, and then had some difficulty getting erection. I know it's in my head. My anxiety flared pretty bad there. Then I started feeling a little ill, not sure what it was, but was just sweating a lot and didn't feel well. Idk if that was from anxiety or something else but either way she started questioning things again today and that hasn't happened lately. I mean lately I've been performing very well but not climaxing other than the one time. It's been a month now. I'm still rebooting from porn as well but I don't think this is porn based at all. I know I'm desensitized from death grip, and that I have some anxiety based ED. But really it's all the death grip stuff. If I were a little more sensitive every bit of this would be resolved. Idk, lil bit stressed atm. Things have been amazing with us lately and this setback really sucks. 
Well best advice I've gotten so far came from a very odd place, which was a male friend of my gf's. He told her to tell me to try a cock ring. I had never used one before. I understood why it would help with erections. But after doing some research beforehand I found out that it would also help with sensitivity as well. So I was curious and ordered one online. The day that it came in the mail I was with her trying to have sex and I was hard as a rock, then there was a minor delay and I started to lose erection. She got kind of pissy and I remembered that the ring should be arriving that day so I stopped and went down to the mailbox. It was there and we immediately tried it out. I went from having no erection to having a decent one, and even though it initially felt a little bit strange. It allowed me to easily get back into the swing of it. We ran out of time and she had to leave for work before I could cum but I knew right away that I was going to have success with it. Out of the next 4 times we had sex I came 3 out of the 4 and the one time that I didn't cum I was extremely drunk and I'm sure it had a lot more to do with it. It's been an absolute game changer for me. I have zero anxiety now bc even in the case where I might start to lose erection, the ring keeps me firm enough to where I am able to keep on going and I get it back. I'm definitely more sensitive, and it seems to be getting so much better. I can totally just focus on her and enjoy it. It's awesome.
53nomorepmo
Active Member
spree said:
I am fairly new to this forum, but am excited by reading success stories like yours. I had the exact same issue the day I decided I needed to make a change, had sex and went soft then did PMO to cum - got caught by a family member eh gad. I know PMO was my issue, and know a reboot is in order to get the issue resolved. However, maintaining a relationship and having fun with it along the way is great. It sounds like your girlfriend is on board to help you make the journey and willing to experiment to help! Good luck to you, but in reading these journals I can tell you likely realize you need to be cautious as your relationship matures and your sexual function begins to normalize (sound like you are well on the way) that you stay away from the PMO temptation. At least this is my plan... hope it works for me!
I actually don't think that I had a porn related issue. I think my particular issue has been about anxiety and death grip. And the death grip probably isn't extreme since a minor boost from a rubber ring seems to help out enough to give me success. I think the best advice I can give anyone here is to keep an open mind and actually explore your problem deeper. Bc as great as this community has been (and it has been great), my knock on it is that it has tunnel vision. Not all of the people here have a porn issue. Now I'm not saying I don't have one. But it definitely isnt my main issue. And I dont think I would have found an answer for my particular issue here. So i just hope people read this and begin exploring all options. Bc there likely are lots of options.
sodonewithit
Active Member
All I would add is everyone here has some issue. It might be pixel, anxiety, the grip or a hundred other problems but discussion helps to narrow it down. For myself it was all of them and then some. Confidence is still a issue and the assertiveness that gets lost when porn is boss but I am sure that I can get erect. I've still not managed to get a full woody which I would consider success but it's not really that important compared to making sure that I do get it when my wife touches....
Who knows I might just get the nerve to try a ring, adventure right?
Who knows I might just get the nerve to try a ring, adventure right?
sodonewithit
Active Member
Made me laugh
53nomorepmo
Active Member
Spree in reading these stories it was clear to me there are many cases, and particularly among our age group of comorbidity; meaning that if you have ED and you PMO could be PMO could be something else, could be a combination... Definitely, and especially among the 40 and up group. I therefore, totally support your "explore all options" comment. If you think you had a PMO problem I am going to suggest that you might indeed have one.. for me the compulsion to look and the inability to forget what I was looking at made me evaluate how this differed from love making before I had all these images burned into my head. So even if there is a secondary issue I definitely think it will be beneficially to cut out PMO... Could only make things better and real life encounters more exciting.spree said:
