3nd0fth3w0rld
New Member
I've tried to reboot a couple of times in the past and have met with utter failure and depression. I turn 23 at the end of May and my goal is to be 30 days PMO free and to head into the next year starting a healthy life. Like most men in this age range, I've been masturbating to porn since early puberty. I feel like I am at the end of my rope.
A big part of my problem is that I've been watching older/younger porn since I was about 16. This combined with father issues and really led to a stand-still in my dating life. The men that I am currently attracted to and the men that I want to date are completely misaligned. My libido craves a burly, "daddy" figure while what I am actually attracted to are nerdy, white boys my age. The porn addiction and this dichotomy has caused a big problem in my past relationships, often causing ED during intimate moments. The last guy I dated was super sweet, often engaging in porn to get us started, but I definitely don't want to make that a habit. I've recently moved to a new city and will start dating soon. I need to create a healthy sexual libido.
So, I want to do this right. Set milestones, celebrate them, find hobbies to distract myself when sensations creeps up and ultimately not get caught up in the emotional turmoil that will come. With that being said, I've tried to come up with a plan. After doing a bit of reading on this site and "Your Brain on Porn," I've noticed a trend in men succeeding if there is a plan intact. I'm mapping it out here in hopes that writing it down will make it more concrete. Bare with me as I am a very thorough person.
1. Delve into my hobbies as much as possible:
a. Cooking. Try out a new recipe every week.
b. Reading. There are so many books that I read the first few chapters of. It's time to finish them. My plan is to find 30 minutes to read everyday. On the metro, during lunch at work, or right before I go to bed. Here are the ones I am starting with.
i. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
ii. Dataclysm by Christian Rudder
iii. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
iv. Pokemon Adventures Manga (Basically I'm still a 12 year old boy, okay)
c. Writing. My background is in theatre arts and I have been working on a play for years that has bits and pieces mapped out. I want to devote an hour a week, if not more.
d. Collecting records. I took the first step today by avoiding watching porn a second time by outlining all of the records that I would like to hunt for. One of my coworkers is really into records and is going to help me look for them.
e. Expanding my wardrobe by going to retail stores. I love online shopping, but it often leads to porn somehow. Part of my reboot will be to wean off of online shopping as fashion ads, especially on gay-centric clothing sites tend to be risque. Plus actually leaving my apartment, shopping and trying on clothes will leave less time to look at porn.
f. Performing. Auditioning for shows, singing at karaoke, starting a band with my roommate that combines the soft sounds of folk music and the synth of space. Look for us soon on itunes.
2. Being active about my health. My roommate will tell you that I am a fan of fad diets. I try something out for a week and move on with not result. I know the building blocks to living a healthy life style. Plus summer is here in Texas (it's so fucking humid, my god) that being outside with little to no clothing is unavoidable and I know that being shirtless in public will trigger anxiety and depression. My plan will include:
a. Working out 4 days a week.
i. 2 Leg Days
ii. 2 Arm Days
iii. 30-45 minutes of cardio and ab training each time I work out
b. A healthy sustainable diet. Abs are made in the kitchen! This will include cutting down carbs, switching to coconut oil instead of using vegetable oil or butter and starting my days off with a good breakfast. As a vegetarian, I will scout out new vegetables to incorporate weekly.
3. Talk opening about my emotions and what I am going through with my friends. Making sure that my depression and mood swings are not directed towards them, etc. This process also includes daily to weekly updates on this thread.
4. When I want to watch porn, get away from the trigger. Whether it be an online ad, a movie with an intense sex scene, etc, I need to continue to move away from them.
No I know that talk is cheap and implementing will be hard, but I think having a plan to turn to and to have a place to talk about it will help. Here are my upcoming milestones:
1. One day
2. One week
3. 2 weeks
4. 1 month
If I make it all tomorrow, I will have my favorite cookies from Central Market.
Wish me luck and let me know if you have any tips!
A big part of my problem is that I've been watching older/younger porn since I was about 16. This combined with father issues and really led to a stand-still in my dating life. The men that I am currently attracted to and the men that I want to date are completely misaligned. My libido craves a burly, "daddy" figure while what I am actually attracted to are nerdy, white boys my age. The porn addiction and this dichotomy has caused a big problem in my past relationships, often causing ED during intimate moments. The last guy I dated was super sweet, often engaging in porn to get us started, but I definitely don't want to make that a habit. I've recently moved to a new city and will start dating soon. I need to create a healthy sexual libido.
So, I want to do this right. Set milestones, celebrate them, find hobbies to distract myself when sensations creeps up and ultimately not get caught up in the emotional turmoil that will come. With that being said, I've tried to come up with a plan. After doing a bit of reading on this site and "Your Brain on Porn," I've noticed a trend in men succeeding if there is a plan intact. I'm mapping it out here in hopes that writing it down will make it more concrete. Bare with me as I am a very thorough person.
1. Delve into my hobbies as much as possible:
a. Cooking. Try out a new recipe every week.
b. Reading. There are so many books that I read the first few chapters of. It's time to finish them. My plan is to find 30 minutes to read everyday. On the metro, during lunch at work, or right before I go to bed. Here are the ones I am starting with.
i. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
ii. Dataclysm by Christian Rudder
iii. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
iv. Pokemon Adventures Manga (Basically I'm still a 12 year old boy, okay)
c. Writing. My background is in theatre arts and I have been working on a play for years that has bits and pieces mapped out. I want to devote an hour a week, if not more.
d. Collecting records. I took the first step today by avoiding watching porn a second time by outlining all of the records that I would like to hunt for. One of my coworkers is really into records and is going to help me look for them.
e. Expanding my wardrobe by going to retail stores. I love online shopping, but it often leads to porn somehow. Part of my reboot will be to wean off of online shopping as fashion ads, especially on gay-centric clothing sites tend to be risque. Plus actually leaving my apartment, shopping and trying on clothes will leave less time to look at porn.
f. Performing. Auditioning for shows, singing at karaoke, starting a band with my roommate that combines the soft sounds of folk music and the synth of space. Look for us soon on itunes.
2. Being active about my health. My roommate will tell you that I am a fan of fad diets. I try something out for a week and move on with not result. I know the building blocks to living a healthy life style. Plus summer is here in Texas (it's so fucking humid, my god) that being outside with little to no clothing is unavoidable and I know that being shirtless in public will trigger anxiety and depression. My plan will include:
a. Working out 4 days a week.
i. 2 Leg Days
ii. 2 Arm Days
iii. 30-45 minutes of cardio and ab training each time I work out
b. A healthy sustainable diet. Abs are made in the kitchen! This will include cutting down carbs, switching to coconut oil instead of using vegetable oil or butter and starting my days off with a good breakfast. As a vegetarian, I will scout out new vegetables to incorporate weekly.
3. Talk opening about my emotions and what I am going through with my friends. Making sure that my depression and mood swings are not directed towards them, etc. This process also includes daily to weekly updates on this thread.
4. When I want to watch porn, get away from the trigger. Whether it be an online ad, a movie with an intense sex scene, etc, I need to continue to move away from them.
No I know that talk is cheap and implementing will be hard, but I think having a plan to turn to and to have a place to talk about it will help. Here are my upcoming milestones:
1. One day
2. One week
3. 2 weeks
4. 1 month
If I make it all tomorrow, I will have my favorite cookies from Central Market.
Wish me luck and let me know if you have any tips!
