My weakness

[klarson27]

While I'm porn free... I still find myself browsing CraigsList ads..

I've not masturbated to them but I still look.. and I can feel the warmth (of what I presume to be Dopamine) filter throughout my body.

I just replied to an ad as well.. So yea, I suppose I'm in relapse mode even though I'm not using porn!

It's unlikely that I'll get a response to what I replied to and it's also not very likely that I'd follow through if I did...

Regardless, the lines between sex addiction and porn addiction are very much blurred for me.

I think that's one of the reason Porn is so powerful. It's a combination of multiple addictions (Sex, Porn, Internet) all of which have at their core...

Dopamine?? If that's what it is, then the stuff feels so good.

It's sad though.. as I know it's highly unlikely that I will act out (meet up with someone) and I've certainly been able to keep willpower together to NOT use pornography and I will Not masturbate... I still browsed the CL ad.. and worse yet.. sent an email explaining that it's been a fantasy of mine to engage with the person posting.

Worse yet... I'm a married man with children..

Regardless, I didn't use porn. (at this point, it feels deflating to even use that as a positive point).

And I won't use porn.

It's been several months (4 or 5) since I've used porn and I have no intention of going back to it.

Thanks for reading...

 

[Chaos Mind]

A misleading thing on this board is the term "porn addiction". I'd rather call it "internet sex addiction". It contains more of the toxic stuff we expose ourselves to everyday.

You state several times that you didn't act out and that you didn't do porn. Do you think your mind gives a shit? Call it porn, call it internet sex, call it fantasy, call it emotional cheating...in the end it all comes down to what it DOES to you. And as you realized, it's hell of a dopamine kick so it does have the exact same effect as PMO'ing. Believe me, I know what I am talking about. My "porn addiction" is rather a sex chat and virtual flirt addiction, but that does not change a thing about the effects on my relationship. The day I log onto a flirt chat is when I call it a relapse, just as others brows for porn. You should make up the same strict rules for yourself.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you for contacting other women although you are married. I have done the exact same thing. That's why I warn you: don't be strict on the term...be strict on the thing! Deep inside you KNOW when you are doing something you shouldn't do. Bad conscience brought you here, so that's a good thing.

Fight for it, dude! All support to you, my friend...

 

[Anoniem5]

I agree with Chaos Mind.
It doesn't necessarily have to be porn. Any artificial stimulation that get's you aroused is a don't during this reboot. I you find yourself browsing all over facebook, looking at pictures from hot girls perhaps in your working or school environment as an alternative for porn, it is still considered a relapse. But don't worry, because this is a learning thing. I always keep in mind that a little relapse makes you stronger. When you are back at it again you are more aware on what not to do during the reboot, and you are also more aware of the consequences.

Good luck

 

[klarson27]

Excellent feedback by both of you.. Thanks!

The beauty of not having a counter is that I don't have to reset it..

Just move forward, one day at a time..

Thanks again.