Is Porn Addiction A Symptom Or Cause of Issues? MUST READ

Crystal

Member
sammy101 said:
I started masturbating at d age of 13 and looking at erotic magazines at 13... And i started using porn at 15..I really had nothing I was running away from no pain...but I realised my reason for seeking porn was simple (I lust for women so much and when I don't end up getting one I resort to porn) to a point where I didn't deem it necessary to front girls anymore when I could get d pleasure I sort by watching porn and fapping to it...this went on for years and I became addicted because of the novelty of porn.. U know d saying ( 1 is never enough and 12 is not too much) I am currently 21 years old and what I have come to realise is that after I finish fapping to porn all those strong urges I felt before that just vanishes...meaning am not really craving porn and its naked women shit coz literally I get turned on just seeing beautiful ladies pass by me...but I was addicted to the dopamine release my brain gives me...because I found out I don't get turned on watching d same porn over and over ...so I search for an interesting scene for a better dopamine release...all these have affected me..coz I find it hard nw to remain erect with my girlfriend...because I lack focus of what is at hand...and because my brain is used to being fed with numerous position of girls being smacked...so I guess d best approach to help myself and those willing to embark on d journey is to stop lusting after women..not like for ever though coz I can't see myself not shagging again...but @least for now....PEACE...

Welcome to Reboot Nation Sammy, thanks for sharing.
 
S

Sab

Guest
Hello everyone! Its a bit weird for me but I want openly to address my Problem. I have nightmares and it feels like I'm going to die soon as I cannot sleep from having wet dream.I don't know what to so can somebody help me?
 

workingonit

Active Member
Hi Sab,

It appears you are just in overdrive.  It is good that you spoke of your fears.  Is there anything you can do when you wake from your dreams to write them down?  Wet dreams are very normal and nearly all men have them.  Not to worry.  Do you exercise at all?
 

Big H

Active Member
Porn is like crack. Once you watch you can't stop. It pisses me off when people say there's nothing wrong with porn and the only problem is you which may be partially right but obviously it's easier to quit soft-core porn than hardcore.
 
Gabe Deem said:
BOTH groups need to understand that staying away from porn does not mean you will miss out on pleasure, It means you may finally experience it to the fullest.

I think this quote is going to help me a lot.
 

workingonit

Active Member
Hello Big H, Hope your recovery is going well.  I disagree that Pornography is like crack but only because after joining Reboot Nation and studying addiction more I came across this link attached.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs

Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong. Johanh Hari.

Heroine was widely used during the vietnam war.  There was great concern that there would be a nationwide epidemic when the vets returned home but the greater majority just blended back into society.

The classic addiction study was putting one rat in a cage.  In one bottle there was water and cocaine, in the other bottle was just water.  The rat finished the cocaine off and left the one that was just water.  This was seen as the test to determine is something was addictive or not.  Recently the study was done again but differently.   

In the cage was placed numerous rats, runs, food, toys, games.    The water bottle and water/cocaine bottles were used again but the rats barely touched the cocaine.  This was seen to be because they were social and able to occupy themselves with eating, playing, having sex excetera.

I hope you enjoy the first documentary and the second one just goes deeper.

Cheers!
 

Gabe Deem

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
After watching the "Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong" video, read this. There are a lot of problems with the statements made in it.

In short, not all addicts lack connection.

https://yourbrainonporn.com/commentary-everything-we-think-we-know-about-addiction-wrong-nutshell
 
M

Mroctupus

Guest
I agree with Daniel Amen and the book about brain that addictions are mostly the symptom and until you deal with the cause addictions only change form from one thing to another
 

Gabe Deem

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
Good to see well known sexual addiction therapist and author/speaker Rob Weiss acknowledge "opportunity addiction" as discussed above: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex/2018/12/digital-age-conditioned-porn-addiction-a-new-version-of-an-old-problem/
 

Aznom99

New Member
right, i think pornography is not a drug. But with modern technology Enabling anyone to easily access these media Whether it is a PC, notebook, smart mobile that connects to the internet anywhere, including social media that makes it easier to access and forward But what to do, we have to stop interested in pornography. When it comes to see through the eyes often.
 

Hgdo78

Member
I have read all the comments and stories, and like most I started looking at playboy, for the younger crowd here, playboy was and is a book that has naked women on it and some other stuff that no one ever reads it.  Now the magazines was given to me and my brother by my uncle and my parents were okay with it.  Any way it was the beginning of my nightmares.  I was everyday running home to ?take a shower? and for years that was my life.  I have great parents, girlfriends all the time but I was always supper horny.  Lost my virginity at 19 and even than it got worse, I would have Alex with my girl than go home and masturbate again.  It did not matter if I had sex, just the thought of a women would make me want to do it.

Porn was easy at my house because my folks did not really care, anyway I got married I figure it would stop, no it did not.  Some times I would go days and I did not care but than something would trigger it maybe looking at a sexy women other than my wife, or a picture of a women but in a thong, which later became an obsession of my, thongs that is, as soon as I see just a peak of the thong I get horny and run home and masturbate.  Well that went on for years also going to church made things harder because I felt guilty for doing it and I knew it is wrong In God eyes that I was ashamed, than I can go a couple of days some times a week or two than back at it again. 

now, my wife said is too much I want you out until you get control of why you need doing it.  We blame porn but really we need to look at why do we, my reason was for pleasure of imagination of a sexy women in a thong.

I had to move out this Sunday past and I have not looked or thought or had any urges to look at it, because the pain that has brought to my life, well it?s not worth looking at porn for a few minutes of pleasure or high feelings. So I will keep posting my progress here, started to take counselling to help me work it out. Talk later God Bless
 

Aussie_85

Active Member
Gabe Deem said:
You do not have to be predisposed to become addicted. You just have to chronically over-consume porn, which can lead to brain changes.

However, both groups of guys, the pleasure seekers and the pain avoiders, need to get out and enjoy life. So the message still stands, Get busy doing other healthy things.

Simply put, porn addiction recovery is more about "why you can't stop", than it is "why you are addicted". You cannot become addicted to something without chronically over-consuming it.

Some will have issues to acknowledge and take care of, which have led them to use porn. Others will simply need to stop watching it and replace it. BOTH groups need to fill the void that giving up porn leaves in their schedule and mind with something healthy and/or productive. BOTH groups need to learn how porn re-wires and numbs the brain. BOTH groups need to understand that staying away from porn does not mean you will miss out on pleasure, It means you may finally experience it to the fullest.

Great post Gabe,

Personally i had very few issues before porn use. But as the years rolled on and i started getting weird, worsening symptoms like social anxiety ( massively life impacting ) and depression, anhedonia..i was scared and confused so i'd use even more porn to combat the negative effects - vicious cycle. Iv'e never had PIED though, my erections have certainly gotten weaker but I've never not been able to have sex...this coming from me who would edge for 7+ hours per day to extreme material, basically any and everything besides BDSM or illegal shit... I'd finish and be like man, why the hell did i just masturbate over that? which over time is extremely confusing and damaging.

I'll be supporting you on patreon when i get a chance to sign up - bit busy with a newborn at the moment!  ;D i cannot describe in words the hope people like you have given me. seriously bro you deserve some kind of award, so does garry,noah,mark and all the other people spreading the word and helping change/ save lives.  8)
 

surajit

New Member
Since i have stopped masturbating ,i have been feeling great...But i am not able to get out of watching porn...Just today i couldn't help myself watching it..so i joined RN to help myself getting out of this shit which is ruining my life...Frequency of watching have decreased but still i need to stop watching and i will and that too from now onwards.......
 

ben_HE

Member
I started watching porn and masturbating when I was in school, I was 15 years old, I had no idea what I was doing, however the pleasure was real.
In my case, I had problems since my childhood, my father was an alcoholic and now that I think about it whenever he came drunk I suffered from anxiety I was very shy I did not know if this affected my addiction to pornography, but what I do know is that every time it happened Due to a stressful situation, I was looking for pornography and the martyrdom I could not make friends and the easiest way out was pornography, now I am 34 years old and I am looking to get out of this.
 

@arun

Member
Let me make something clear here... Not everyone uses porn because of underlying issues.

We are in a new day and age where you do not just have your "classic" addict who has a history of abuse, or some kind of traumatic experience, or self esteem issues. Now that there is an unlimited supply of supernormal stimuli available and for free, we have a whole new "contemporary" addict who simply has chronically used something pleasurable, that is accepted by society, and has in turn changed their brain. Chronic over-consumption of anything intensely stimulating can cause sensitization, and desensitization.

Of course pre-existing conditions do increase some users' vulnerability to addiction. Yet therapists are increasingly seeing another type of porn addiction that is not dependent on pre-existing conditions.
They are labeling it in various ways including "opportunity addiction" and "contemporary rapid-onset addiction." Unlike classical 'sex addiction,' this type of addiction is to internet porn and has more to do with having access to, and watching porn on the internet, than inherent vulnerabilities, which may or may not be present.

Some guys watch porn to experience pleasure, some to ease pain. Both think that it will fill their life with joy, both can end up wrong.

John Mayer, a guy who dates supermodels, said he would rather watch porn and fantasize over having sex with a real woman than have sex. His brain has changed. His life doesn't suck.... In his interview with Playboy he said this when talking about how stimulating internet porn is:


Really understand this: If a young teenage boy has unlimited access to naked females/males doing things he has never heard of, he does not have to have an 'issue' for him to over-consume the supernormal stimulus in front of his eyes. He is naturally wired to find it arousing. Then slap A) the novelty factor in, where a teen can always escalate into more shocking material. And B) the fact that a teens brain is more vulnerable to addiction, and you have a recipe for disaster... or I should say sensitization.

(For further reading on the impact of todays porn on the teenage brain read these: Porn Then and Now:Welcome To Brain Training, Why Shouldn't Johnny Watch Porn If He Likes?, or watch this video presentation on the teenage brain! )

I and 3 other of my good friends experienced porn-related dysfunctions. All of us were normal dudes with normal lives. Why did we all watch porn? Because we thought it was awesome and felt amazing "busting all kinds of nuts ". We were unaware that it might have a negative physical impact. In fact, I didn't believe porn could be the cause of my problems until I did the PIED test. I had ED for about a year before I figured it out, since I could get it up with porn. I had no clue what kept me limp with a partner.

Porn-induced ED is porn induced.... not issue induced. Without chronic over-consumption of porn there would hardly ever be chronic ED in young guys.

Now, I would agree that there are many guys still struggling with porn addiction who have some underlying issue, but not all. Some have simply watched a lot of highly stimulating porn from a young age and have addiction-related brain changes. Namely, 1) Sensitization, a highway in our brain that makes us crave porn. 2) Desensitization, a numbed response to other pleasure and normal sexual stimulation, making us crave more stimulation (porn). 3) Hypofrontality, weak executive control in our frontal cortex so we make bad decisions...and watch porn.

You do not have to be predisposed to become addicted. You just have to chronically over-consume porn, which can lead to brain changes.

However, both groups of guys, the pleasure seekers and the pain avoiders, need to get out and enjoy life. So the message still stands, Get busy doing other healthy things.

Simply put, porn addiction recovery is more about "why you can't stop", than it is "why you are addicted". You cannot become addicted to something without chronically over-consuming it.

Some will have issues to acknowledge and take care of, which have led them to use porn. Others will simply need to stop watching it and replace it. BOTH groups need to fill the void that giving up porn leaves in their schedule and mind with something healthy and/or productive. BOTH groups need to learn how porn re-wires and numbs the brain. BOTH groups need to understand that staying away from porn does not mean you will miss out on pleasure, It means you may finally experience it to the fullest.
I agree. I am trying to quit porn since 2020. I stopped watching porn for some days. And I felt some energy more in those days. But it could last only 5or 7days. I may feel highly excited to slip to porn or i feel uninterested in other things and goes find pleasure in porn again. Even though my mind regret the feeling after the act of relapse i am still in hands of porn. The best streak i could do was 20 days. Then it's all go back like pressing a reset button. I then become more motivated and will stick to no fap. But gradually iam ending up in relapse.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
i started watching internet porn at the age of 18 and until now. But after going through so much of sluggishness, procrastination, mood swings, low self esteem (that everyone complained about) I was starting to think that porn may have been the issue.
from my point of view: mostly addiction is related to stress. and by stress i mean both good stress (eustress) and bad stress (stress as hell). Say you just finished your homework and now you want to relax bam you use porn. say u were just frustrated and gave up doing homework and bam you use porn.

one way i learned is by quitting my smoking habit. i had tried so many times to quit and i always failed. then one day i just tricked my brain. I said i wont quit smoking but i will control my self on not to smoke and till this day i say that to my self . Off-course i wanted to smoke and i did smoke a couple. but lets say i never gave up on controlling. in over 14 months i smoked may be 2 weeks and again in a mode to control it. But this is improvement.

i am trying to apply same idea on this one. so instead of saying i quit porn i will simply say i will control my self on not to watch porn.
lets say if i say " do not think of the white bear" what comes to your mind. obviously a white bear right?. then so every time when you have an urge to use porn. if you say i quit watching porn, you are forcing your brain to think on what you loved once the most. and you fight with it and constantly remind of what you have been missing. Instead you should be negotiating. say this to your brain": Hey brain,i am controlling you right now lets watch else for fun like inspiring TED talk. or may write a poem.call a friend,you know.this is also a positive reinforcement as you bring the fun into the brain by doing other stuff.

we will all rise out of this: lastly a word three word philosophy that has helped me overcome many challenges in my life:

Patience, Fortitude and Endurance:

Patience which means to wait, fortitude: which means become able to bear pain, and, endurance: increase your endurance to do two of those.

peace, mikerman
I like your post and what you said about quitting smoking. First off, let me say I found not watching porn to be quite easy….mainly because my dick broke and I lost the ability to have sex with my wife….good motivation. But I can see how applying similar strategies for other addictions would reap results. I used to smoke a pack or more per day. I used to work with a guy who didn’t smoke. One day I was bitching because i wanted to quit and someone advised me to go talk to “Len” (the guy who didn’t smoke).
I asked Len about it and he told me he was a smoker. He just hadn’t had a cigarette in awhile. “How long?” I asked. “About 30 years five or take”.
A decade or more later I decided I wasn’t going to quit….I just wasn’t going to have one for awhile. That was 7 years ago. Yes, I have had a cigarette or two in that time (less than 3 packs total). But when I do, I feel bad. Try to learn. And then decide to not have one again for awhile.
A change in perspective helped me immensely.
 

Rabbit

New Member
I used to get on coke and just look at porn and porn images for hours on end , just staring looking for shit that would turn me on .
The next day I’d be like wtf we’re you doing.
I had other mates thst said they would do it to.
Weird
 
One of the biggest challenges for me has been untangling the effects of the addiction from the underlying issues. I was first diagnosed with anxiety and depression at the age of 8, back in 1990. This was clearly well before I came across internet porn.

However, it took me a long time to accept that I’m not still making a choice to use porn to manage symptoms of depression/anxiety but that my ability to make that choice has been disordered by addiction.

I also think that the depression/anxiety predisposed me to addiction in the sense that stress puts the brain into a pleasure-seeking mode and limits the brain’s ability to make more rational choices. That’s my understanding anyway.

One thing I always struggled to understand was why my obsessive reaction to porn as a teenager seemed immediate and didn’t seem to develop through repeated use.

Probably the answer is that growing up with depression/anxiety predisposed me this reaction.

Also, I think you are right in that many teenage boys are predisposed to this almost immediate addiction-like reaction simply because of their natural interest in sex and their teenage brains being predisposed to addiction.

Sexual shame was another factor for me which I think drove my initial obsession with porn and which maintained my addiction and made recovery even more difficult. Again, it’s not that the sexual shame means that I’m not also addicted. It’s just an additional complicating factor.

Sexual shame certainly added to my self-blaming about the addiction. I didn’t want to accept that I’d simply done what many teenage boys do - been drawn to intense sexual images and got hooked.

I think that one of the difficult things about saying that my addiction is simply due to the availability of porn and my overuse of it is that it made me feel like I was the author of my own misery. This was really unhelpful. My addiction is intertwined with my life story and I needed help to understand that. I certainly did not benefit from being in group therapy with people who didn’t share the same kinds of underlying issues as me (at least not to the same extent).

I think that the way that recovery progresses may need to be different for people with different underlying issues. I’ve heard that people with serious trauma shouldn’t always begin by trying to cut out addictive behaviours entirely as this may lead to them being overwhelmed by trauma symptoms. For me, with my history of depression and anxiety and growing up in a dysfunctional family, I needed much more focus on self-compassion, learning to accept my emotions and dealing with sexual shame.

I’d be interested in hearing other peoples thoughts on this.
 
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