Well, this is not a story of success through "rebooting"..but it is a story which has an important perspective which is barely talked about here, and that is: you might think you are a porn addict while you are actually not!
I joined the forums several months ago and that was my original thread:
http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=2597.0
Briefly speaking, I am 26 and was "until yesterday" a virgin. First time I ever sleep with a girl was last November. And back then I felt absolutely nothing. My thing was totally dead as if it doesn't exist. I went crazy and started checking online and I came across the porn addiction thing, which made perfect sense -and still does- and I was able to relate to most of the things the people here on the forums said. I took it as a fact that I am a porn addict and started the rebooting dilemma, but couldn't make it for more than 32 days.
At the same time I was talking to my psychiatrist. He told me the porn addiction thing does make sense of course, but he was skeptical that this is my case. He believed it was anxiety. But I prefered to stick to the fact that it is porn addiction.
It is not easy for me to approach girls in more than a friendly way, and now thinking about it, I think I always had it in the subconcious when I talked to a girl, that I am afraid of the moment we end up in bed, and from one side, I don't know if I have a problem, and from the other side, I was too afraid because I had no idea how things should be like, what to do and what not to do and all that...it was hell of a pressure and I think it influenced my behavior with girls without knowing it.
Few months later I was really depressed and craving for being with a girl..I once mentioned it in front of my psychiatrist that I am thinking of going to a brothel, he didnt like the idea...later on I found him telling me that I can go for it, just to try and judge myself.
So yes, I went to a brothel. The girl was surprisingly very clean and nice. But again, I couldn't get it up..I was having too many thoughts, and the whole brothel thing was mking me nervous, I never tried anything like that... and of course was always thinking if it will get hard or not...at the end it didn't..only being semi hard sometimes but that's it. I was not impressed by the idea of the brothel. I could see in the girl's eye that she is acting..and this was so upsetting for me...I decided I need a real girl whom I like in order to be able to do anything.
I again started a new reboot and talked with my psychiatrist about it, he was still convinced it is anxiety, and had nothing to do with me watching porn.
Several months passed again without being with any girl..and I got again to the same state of depression and craving for sex. Although I had took the decision earlier of not going to a brothel again, I had the feeling that I need to do whatever to let it out..so I decided to go...This time my psychiatrist advised me to take a Levitra pill, not because I have a problem, but because he believed it will give me confidence in the first time, which I need to get over my anxiety. I also read here that if it is PED such pills won't help anyway.
Yesterday I decided to try, I took the levitra pill and went there. There was only one girl there and she didnt seem to be interested at all, but I chose her anyway. I was so nervous but then I started talking and joking and things got better, she started laughing and my heart beats started slowing down..I also told her that I am a virgin to get off the burden..and that I will be gentle with her so no need to worry...
And yes, after kissing and stuff I could feel it down so hard..I put on the condom and thought that as soon as i get it in i will cum ( I always had this idea in my mind because thats what happens when i watch porn)...well I started moving it slowly and I didnt have any feeling that I will cum soon. I stayed like that for mre than 5 minutes...and then she told me that our time will finish soon so i started doing it harder and at the end I cum. The process was so controllable.
I feel revived somehow and that i broke a huge barrier..at least when I talk to a girl now I will know how it is like and how it feels to be in bed..isntead of being a huge mystery. The only thing I dont know now is, what was the effect of levitra exactly. As I read, levitra doesnt work if the brain is not working, which sounds good. I also heard that levitra have nothing to do with premature ejaculation. So I think it only helped keeping it hard for a longer time than what is supposed to be.
Well, I am telling this story not to encourage people to take pills..and not to enocurage them to go to brothels (I personally wouldn't do it again, hopefully). I am just sharing it to say that you might not be really a porn addict. Whenever possible you should seek professional help...there might be other psychological reasons you are not aware of. I also think that once you get into this circle of "oh I have PED" it really takes too much of your thinking, which is also part of the brain you need to relax in order to function. I believe PED is true, just saying it might not be your case, or not the only reason! And that thinking too much about it might also cause a dysfunction!
Thanks everyone here who tried to help...and wish you all good luck! and wish myself a real relationship sometime soon!
I joined the forums several months ago and that was my original thread:
http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=2597.0
Briefly speaking, I am 26 and was "until yesterday" a virgin. First time I ever sleep with a girl was last November. And back then I felt absolutely nothing. My thing was totally dead as if it doesn't exist. I went crazy and started checking online and I came across the porn addiction thing, which made perfect sense -and still does- and I was able to relate to most of the things the people here on the forums said. I took it as a fact that I am a porn addict and started the rebooting dilemma, but couldn't make it for more than 32 days.
At the same time I was talking to my psychiatrist. He told me the porn addiction thing does make sense of course, but he was skeptical that this is my case. He believed it was anxiety. But I prefered to stick to the fact that it is porn addiction.
It is not easy for me to approach girls in more than a friendly way, and now thinking about it, I think I always had it in the subconcious when I talked to a girl, that I am afraid of the moment we end up in bed, and from one side, I don't know if I have a problem, and from the other side, I was too afraid because I had no idea how things should be like, what to do and what not to do and all that...it was hell of a pressure and I think it influenced my behavior with girls without knowing it.
Few months later I was really depressed and craving for being with a girl..I once mentioned it in front of my psychiatrist that I am thinking of going to a brothel, he didnt like the idea...later on I found him telling me that I can go for it, just to try and judge myself.
So yes, I went to a brothel. The girl was surprisingly very clean and nice. But again, I couldn't get it up..I was having too many thoughts, and the whole brothel thing was mking me nervous, I never tried anything like that... and of course was always thinking if it will get hard or not...at the end it didn't..only being semi hard sometimes but that's it. I was not impressed by the idea of the brothel. I could see in the girl's eye that she is acting..and this was so upsetting for me...I decided I need a real girl whom I like in order to be able to do anything.
I again started a new reboot and talked with my psychiatrist about it, he was still convinced it is anxiety, and had nothing to do with me watching porn.
Several months passed again without being with any girl..and I got again to the same state of depression and craving for sex. Although I had took the decision earlier of not going to a brothel again, I had the feeling that I need to do whatever to let it out..so I decided to go...This time my psychiatrist advised me to take a Levitra pill, not because I have a problem, but because he believed it will give me confidence in the first time, which I need to get over my anxiety. I also read here that if it is PED such pills won't help anyway.
Yesterday I decided to try, I took the levitra pill and went there. There was only one girl there and she didnt seem to be interested at all, but I chose her anyway. I was so nervous but then I started talking and joking and things got better, she started laughing and my heart beats started slowing down..I also told her that I am a virgin to get off the burden..and that I will be gentle with her so no need to worry...
And yes, after kissing and stuff I could feel it down so hard..I put on the condom and thought that as soon as i get it in i will cum ( I always had this idea in my mind because thats what happens when i watch porn)...well I started moving it slowly and I didnt have any feeling that I will cum soon. I stayed like that for mre than 5 minutes...and then she told me that our time will finish soon so i started doing it harder and at the end I cum. The process was so controllable.
I feel revived somehow and that i broke a huge barrier..at least when I talk to a girl now I will know how it is like and how it feels to be in bed..isntead of being a huge mystery. The only thing I dont know now is, what was the effect of levitra exactly. As I read, levitra doesnt work if the brain is not working, which sounds good. I also heard that levitra have nothing to do with premature ejaculation. So I think it only helped keeping it hard for a longer time than what is supposed to be.
Well, I am telling this story not to encourage people to take pills..and not to enocurage them to go to brothels (I personally wouldn't do it again, hopefully). I am just sharing it to say that you might not be really a porn addict. Whenever possible you should seek professional help...there might be other psychological reasons you are not aware of. I also think that once you get into this circle of "oh I have PED" it really takes too much of your thinking, which is also part of the brain you need to relax in order to function. I believe PED is true, just saying it might not be your case, or not the only reason! And that thinking too much about it might also cause a dysfunction!
Thanks everyone here who tried to help...and wish you all good luck! and wish myself a real relationship sometime soon!
