TheresAWayToBeGoodAgain
New Member
Hey, I'm a 20 years old and I've finally accepted I have a problem with porn. I've always felt really different about fapping as I've been doing it ever since I can remember. I remember being around 11 and my mates saying they had tried it while i sat there feeling weird having always done it. I started watching porn at about 14 years old on my psp. My problem is I like reality videos with like a real life setting which makes it more hot cause you think 'imagine if that actually happenned'. Like most fappers, I got hooked on the rush. I remember when i first started watching porn shaking and having shortness of breath from having such massive orgasms.
Before today I would run in a cycle, I'd wank heavily for a couple of days, sometimes a week, then I'd go 3-9 days without it then relapse to another week of heavy porn. I found when i worked alot I could manage it alot better and set targets around work but when I'm at university, it's really hard. I find it affects how I am with people ALOT. Since about 17, I've developed this nervous habit where in group situations I can't stop looking out the corner of my eyes. Its horrible. Busy cinemas are the worst, I basically have to try squint and cover both sides of my face so no one notices. Its so awkward when people do. They think you're on purposely staring at them when really its the last thing you want to do. When I get ambitious and go on a dry spell, everything gets so much easier, i feel more at peace in big groups. The main thing that have caused me to relapse is the heaviness and the depression but since discovering this site I feel so much more confident in trying to reboot. Hearing peoples struggles has really given me confidence. I was supposed to go out tonight but bailed cause I was fapping so after beating myself up, I'm prepared to go the distance
Before today I would run in a cycle, I'd wank heavily for a couple of days, sometimes a week, then I'd go 3-9 days without it then relapse to another week of heavy porn. I found when i worked alot I could manage it alot better and set targets around work but when I'm at university, it's really hard. I find it affects how I am with people ALOT. Since about 17, I've developed this nervous habit where in group situations I can't stop looking out the corner of my eyes. Its horrible. Busy cinemas are the worst, I basically have to try squint and cover both sides of my face so no one notices. Its so awkward when people do. They think you're on purposely staring at them when really its the last thing you want to do. When I get ambitious and go on a dry spell, everything gets so much easier, i feel more at peace in big groups. The main thing that have caused me to relapse is the heaviness and the depression but since discovering this site I feel so much more confident in trying to reboot. Hearing peoples struggles has really given me confidence. I was supposed to go out tonight but bailed cause I was fapping so after beating myself up, I'm prepared to go the distance