ehhhh...back to porn

[Gunner]

Porn is just so damn better and orgasms feel so much better. Being with a girl is just so much work, time, and money. Plus dealing with their emotional issues, let downs, and poor performance...Why bother? At 40+ with marriage and kids behind us I don't know why anyone would make the effort.
Even if I got in a relationship, I would not want to give up porn. I can't imagine a girl being better than what is amazing on screen.

 

[DucatiRider]

I'm pretty sure most of us on here have had that argument with ourselves more than once. It's usually when we've grown weary of the fight. If you truly believed that in your heart, you wouldn't need us to validate it for you.

There is a difference between the intensity of the pleasure from porn and reality, that's for sure. But that was a learned behavior. Learning to love the tangible woman that can love you back is far better.

Marriage nor kids are behind us, we're in our forties, not nineties. Too many people on here enlighten us to the better life that awaits on the other side of recovery.

I still haven't found the person nearing the end of their life saying "I wish I had slept with more women or got off to more porn."

However, if porn forever is your goal, it's pretty easy to accomplish. I will pass.

 

[sodonewithit]

Yes it's easier to wank vs doing the whole dance and winning or losing.  It's up to you but think of it this way, if ever you change your mind what then?  Could you have a one night stand?  If the opportunity came up this moment to get head what would happen?  If you met a woman who changed the current view you have could you close the deal.

Ya those pixels do everything and then some but it's not real.  Choice is yours, you joined for a reason.  There are alot of guys out there with limp dicks and alot of women looking for a guy who can fuck...

 

[Gunner]

Your right sodonewithit...if I happen to meet the right women and sex became an option in a day or so of meeting...I would not be able to close the deal.
So my plan is to wait for the right girl, once found, take my time with her and during that period...no porn, pmo, etc.
So when the deed needs to be done, I will be primed and ready.
But I have girls I can call up and have sex with any night. Just that is more work than taking some time on the computer and getting a nice dopamine rush.
I guess I am just getting lazy as I get older...and more bored. I find I go to porn not when I am aroused, just when I am bored.
...and porn is so good these days...almost makes me wish of times past when it would take work to watch lousy porn. Kind of scary what advancements in visual stimulation will happen in the next 20 years...

 

[sodonewithit]

Indeed. 

I would worry about how long that magical lady will wait while you are rebooting because she's probably going to be wanting sex also.  Who knows, certainly I don't.  Porn abuse is a symptom of issues which we all have, defining what they are is the bigger picture.

I can understand the frustration though and I'm not judging anymore than what you might judge of yourself but be weary.

 

[Phase2]

I think everyone makes their own decision for themselves. It's great to have Freedom. And I can understand that some people might want to say fuck it and just give over to porn and I certainly wish them well. But I'm glad this site is here for those of us who don't want to give in and do want to build a sexual relationship with a human being. For a lot of men, PIED is truly a living nightmare.

And actually, before I finally found yourbrainonporn.com, I was even having trouble getting a hardon to porn because of PIED. It's not as simple as having a choice of human being sex vs computer sex. The porn really fucks with the head and the dick. What happens when you can't orgasm to people or porn anymore?

Anyway, good luck to you. Let us know how it goes.

 

[Kurall_Creator]

Porn is just so damn better and orgasms feel so much better. Being with a girl is just so much work, time, and money. Plus dealing with their emotional issues, let downs, and poor performance...Why bother? At 40+ with marriage and kids behind us I don't know why anyone would make the effort.
Even if I got in a relationship, I would not want to give up porn. I can't imagine a girl being better than what is amazing on screen.

Even if I wasn't in a relationship, I suffered from depression for 10 years, and towards the end, I was having suicidal thoughts. That was around 6 and a half weeks ago when I started to give up porn. Now, I feel better, no suicidal thoughts - working on a screen play for a video game I want to produce - for which I am almost done the beginning, something I wasn't capable of while I watched porn.

I was having a craving for porn, and I came back to check out posts. You gave me the ability to vocalize why I hate porn and why I never want it in my life!

Thanks, and it's good to see you have been 2 days free! Keep going!

 

[Gunner]

Well I had about six months of no PMO starting last July. Sex with the girls was great. Still had to use Viagra or Cialis, but the feeling was good. Think I am psychologically addicted to V and C but that is a whole other issue.

Then I just started getting bored and slowly started gravitating to the triggers which are all around and easy to access. Which brought me to watch full porn again but no MO. Which lead to porn and M but no O. Which finally ended up with PMO again. And that feels great! But at the cost of not really wanting to be with the girls and the thought of being alone.

So I am always weighing the cost/benefit. Has to be the girls or PMO but can't be both. So my thought is six months with the girls, then six months PMO, then back to the girls, etc. Ahhhh...what a crazy life.

Which leads me to another thing about all you guys...you set goals of 30 days, 60 days, 120 days, etc...but what happens after that? You really think you will be cured? I highly suspect not. It will be a struggle all your life...and porn is getting better and better (think high def, 3D, virtual reality on the horizon) but the girls are not...

 

[sodonewithit]

There is no timer for me.  I have a wife, kids, a mortgage and all the other hooks of life.  I can't trade porn for all of that so it's not much of a option.  While to some degree I understand the thought process you have plain and simple putting my dick between my hand or inside my wife isn't much of a comparison.  Yes I can masturbate daily and I sure don't get laid as often but I'm somewhat convinced this is really a side aspect of my personal porn abuse.  Had I not been satisfying myself so often I might have pursued her more.  She might have not had her own sex drive reduced due to my lack of being unable to perform to the level I should.  When you read the partner's section here it does give insight to the flip of the coin.

Does this mean much to your personal situation?  Not really but it's not for me all the same.  And yes this is a lifetime change.  I will not see the progression of porn and that is fine, I won't miss it.

 

[bob]

My counters are used to give me accountability to other here that read my journal. Do I want to PMO, I wouldn't be honest if I said those desires are nonexistent. Is it my time to be cured? I don't think so.

I understand that it will be with me the rest of my life. What I want to do it make sure that I am being honest with you folks and saying that I am going to work towards my goal of, 30, 60, 90 or what ever. When I get there I will evaluate and decide if I want to continue with an additional goal.

When I started this I couldn't image going 5 day without PMO so 90 was pie in the sky. Now I am close to my goal of 90 days. Am I happy about this? I am ecstatic. I have accomplished something that I previously thought was impossible. Will I extend the goal? I might. Again, it is more about accountability then saying I'm cured.

 

[regguyinpa]

Hi Bob,

  Well said. It is a lifestyle change. There is nothing comparable to a real relationship. Porn is just a vapid process that sucks a lot of your life and energy. Keep it up!