Has anyone seen that movie "Don Jon?" What are your thoughts?

[FutaRuinedHim]

I saw the movie "Don Jon" the other day, and it had some parallels to what I've been dealing with. Also some different aspects to the story. I was interested to get other people's take on it if anyone here has seen it. If not, definitely relevant subject matter to what many on here go through.

 

[Taka]

I think it might be an interesting movie for some of us who are at the beginning of the reboot. For others I do not think so because it is full of triggers. The movie was created with intention not to focus specifically on the internet porn but rather on media bias. It is media bias of our views about relationships (the romantic movies), views about women (porn, magazines, TV and one night stands). Yeah I think it is a good movie.

 

[FutaRuinedHim]

I can definitely agree about it being full of triggers. I watched it and thought maybe it would be interesting to have my bf watch it and see if he got any perspective from it, but the realization that the triggers could cause an issue prevented me from suggesting it to him. 

It was definitely less about the porn addiction itself and more about paradigms we have in our society about love and relationships.

What I took away from it is that sometimes I have to step outside my own reaction and what I've been through with this whole ordeal and remind myself that this is both a mental and physical addiction that my bf developed before I was even in the picture, and it's neither my fault for not being "enough," nor is it his for falling into this unexpected dependency. And that sex, while it's a big part of a loving relationship, is not the entirety. Love is bigger than sex, and part of loving someone is being there for them, even when you feel hurt too. It's about overcoming obstacles together and finding happiness and comfort in daily life, even after the initial novelty wears out.

I felt the anger and sadness and shock that Scarlett Johansson's character experienced, but I've been trying to get over that and help him more in the Julianne Moore sort of role. 

Anyhoo, rambling aside, I would recommend this movie to others whose SOs are battling porn addiction, but not necessarily to those who are addicted, due to triggers.

 

[Bibbity]

I didn't watch the movie because I am just too fragile to see it.  I do think we need an open discussion on how we relate to each other as men and women.  It's a total disaster!

 

[FutaRuinedHim]

I do think we need an open discussion on how we relate to each other as men and women.  It's a total disaster!

I agree. I think there should be an open conversation on here between men and women to get perspective from the opposite sex. When I first discovered this site, I posted in a few different forums for exactly that purpose; while I was primarily looking for other women going through the same thing to gain a sense of normalcy and camaraderie, get advice from other females, and see the "light at the end of the tunnel," I also wanted to better understand my bf's condition from a male perspective and seek advice from men who have had this addiction affect their relationships and learn about what I can do to ease his experience. I know this site was created primarily for those dealing with the addiction, but I've gained a lot just knowing there are so many others going through the same thing I am.

 

[Viper]

heard so much about it

 

[LTE]

I think it's good, as long as the depictions of porn use do not prove to be triggering.

 

[Tu 0 Seven]

My opinion on this is that Don Jon is addressed to us, the 20-30-somethings and the younger, grown up by the internet generation.

It illustrates how porn has affected and distorted our view on women, affection, intimacy and relationships. Then it offers a solution to gain what is normal back, which is to stop watching Porn.


As to portraying what we go through, Don Jon lacks depth to do that.

What we go through is shown in "Thanks for Sharing". You can watch the first 5 minutes of the film, and sympathize with the everyday normal joe characters, because they go through the same process as we do. The contradiction with your own self, the struggles, the withdrawals, the visual triggers, the relapses, etc.

 

[dynojump]

Here's my theory on that movie and yes I have seen it.  I have no proof of this other then the fact the Joseph Gordon Levitt advertised Don Jon on porn sites, I believe he may have made money off of it by Porn companies.  It is full of porn and I think most clips are from one particular porn company.  Yes it does make some good points but it also has lots of unneeded porn in it.  Again like I said though I have no proof that he was paid by the porn industry but that is a common tactic to develop something that is supposedly against something but is actually trying to expose people to it. Take for instance the tobacco companies are the ones who produce the no smoking ads.  Do research on a man named Edward Bernays.  He was a media propagandist who's uncle was Sigmund Frued.  He would be hired by various industries to figure out how to make people form habits, a big one was smoking in the 1920's.  Anyway, just saying one tactic that is used to get people to form habits and addictions is to produce something that is "anti" that but when you evaluate it, it actually promotes it.  An anti-porn film that is full of porn? Sounds fishy to me.

 

[LTE]

Here's my theory on that movie and yes I have seen it.  I have no proof of this other then the fact the Joseph Gordon Levitt advertised Don Jon on porn sites, I believe he may have made money off of it by Porn companies.  It is full of porn and I think most clips are from one particular porn company.  Yes it does make some good points but it also has lots of unneeded porn in it.  Again like I said though I have no proof that he was paid by the porn industry but that is a common tactic to develop something that is supposedly against something but is actually trying to expose people to it. Take for instance the tobacco companies are the ones who produce the no smoking ads.  Do research on a man named Edward Bernays.  He was a media propagandist who's uncle was Sigmund Frued.  He would be hired by various industries to figure out how to make people form habits, a big one was smoking in the 1920's.  Anyway, just saying one tactic that is used to get people to form habits and addictions is to produce something that is "anti" that but when you evaluate it, it actually promotes it.  An anti-porn film that is full of porn? Sounds fishy to me.

The first time I saw Don Jon I was offended, turned it off early in the game and literally burned the DVD. Then, after talking to a few guys on the site I decided to give it a complete viewing, which I did on Netflix. [Possible Trigger Alert] While there were simulated porn shots in the early scenes none of them showed genitals, not to mention penetrations, etc. [End Trigger Alert] I call it simulated porn because that's how I perceived it. It looked like it was going to become porn at any second, but it never did.

The entire tone of the movie, IMHO, was anti-porn and the message was that porn and masturbation were not nearly as good as real sexual intercourse. The happy ending of the movie was when he discovered that he could lose himself in a sexual relationship with another human and that was preferable to jerking off to porn. I doubt that the porn merchants wanted that message out there.

 

[dynojump]

Here's my theory on that movie and yes I have seen it.  I have no proof of this other then the fact the Joseph Gordon Levitt advertised Don Jon on porn sites, I believe he may have made money off of it by Porn companies.  It is full of porn and I think most clips are from one particular porn company.  Yes it does make some good points but it also has lots of unneeded porn in it.  Again like I said though I have no proof that he was paid by the porn industry but that is a common tactic to develop something that is supposedly against something but is actually trying to expose people to it. Take for instance the tobacco companies are the ones who produce the no smoking ads.  Do research on a man named Edward Bernays.  He was a media propagandist who's uncle was Sigmund Frued.  He would be hired by various industries to figure out how to make people form habits, a big one was smoking in the 1920's.  Anyway, just saying one tactic that is used to get people to form habits and addictions is to produce something that is "anti" that but when you evaluate it, it actually promotes it.  An anti-porn film that is full of porn? Sounds fishy to me.

The first time I saw Don Jon I was offended, turned it off early in the game and literally burned the DVD. Then, after talking to a few guys on the site I decided to give it a complete viewing, which I did on Netflix. [Possible Trigger Alert] While there were simulated porn shots in the early scenes none of them showed genitals, not to mention penetrations, etc. [End Trigger Alert] I call it simulated porn because that's how I perceived it. It looked like it was going to become porn at any second, but it never did.

The entire tone of the movie, IMHO, was anti-porn and the message was that porn and masturbation were not nearly as good as real sexual intercourse. The happy ending of the movie was when he discovered that he could lose himself in a sexual relationship with another human and that was preferable to jerking off to porn. I doubt that the porn merchants wanted that message out there.

You could be right. Like I said I have no proof of that except like you said you don't think the porn merchants would want that message out , however ads for don jon were run on porn websites.  And there was tons of porn in that movie. Ive seen much of the actual porn that they show in the movie. scenes from real porno. but anyway I have no idea if what I think has any real basis.  Just my thoughts on the movie.  I understand the message behind the movie and it is a good one, but I personally won't be watching it again. too many triggers for me.

 

[LTE]

Here's my theory on that movie and yes I have seen it.  I have no proof of this other then the fact the Joseph Gordon Levitt advertised Don Jon on porn sites, I believe he may have made money off of it by Porn companies.  It is full of porn and I think most clips are from one particular porn company.  Yes it does make some good points but it also has lots of unneeded porn in it.  Again like I said though I have no proof that he was paid by the porn industry but that is a common tactic to develop something that is supposedly against something but is actually trying to expose people to it. Take for instance the tobacco companies are the ones who produce the no smoking ads.  Do research on a man named Edward Bernays.  He was a media propagandist who's uncle was Sigmund Frued.  He would be hired by various industries to figure out how to make people form habits, a big one was smoking in the 1920's.  Anyway, just saying one tactic that is used to get people to form habits and addictions is to produce something that is "anti" that but when you evaluate it, it actually promotes it.  An anti-porn film that is full of porn? Sounds fishy to me.

The first time I saw Don Jon I was offended, turned it off early in the game and literally burned the DVD. Then, after talking to a few guys on the site I decided to give it a complete viewing, which I did on Netflix. [Possible Trigger Alert] While there were simulated porn shots in the early scenes none of them showed genitals, not to mention penetrations, etc. [End Trigger Alert] I call it simulated porn because that's how I perceived it. It looked like it was going to become porn at any second, but it never did.

The entire tone of the movie, IMHO, was anti-porn and the message was that porn and masturbation were not nearly as good as real sexual intercourse. The happy ending of the movie was when he discovered that he could lose himself in a sexual relationship with another human and that was preferable to jerking off to porn. I doubt that the porn merchants wanted that message out there.

You could be right. Like I said I have no proof of that except like you said you don't think the porn merchants would want that message out , however ads for don jon were run on porn websites.  And there was tons of porn in that movie. Ive seen much of the actual porn that they show in the movie. scenes from real porno. but anyway I have no idea if what I think has any real basis.  Just my thoughts on the movie.  I understand the message behind the movie and it is a good one, but I personally won't be watching it again. too many triggers for me.

The ads probably weren't "on" porn sites. Internet advertising works by gauging your interests and placing adds to match those interests. If you shop for a new car on the Internet you will likely see ads for new cars. If the guy next to you has been shopping for hotel rooms in LA and goes to the same site he'll probably see ads for hotel rooms. I would guess that Don Jon matches to porn and pops up on porn sites. It could be triggered by visiting anti-porn sites too. The ads you see on the Internet have very little, if anything, to do with the site you are visiting when you see them.

 

[dynojump]

Here's my theory on that movie and yes I have seen it.  I have no proof of this other then the fact the Joseph Gordon Levitt advertised Don Jon on porn sites, I believe he may have made money off of it by Porn companies.  It is full of porn and I think most clips are from one particular porn company.  Yes it does make some good points but it also has lots of unneeded porn in it.  Again like I said though I have no proof that he was paid by the porn industry but that is a common tactic to develop something that is supposedly against something but is actually trying to expose people to it. Take for instance the tobacco companies are the ones who produce the no smoking ads.  Do research on a man named Edward Bernays.  He was a media propagandist who's uncle was Sigmund Frued.  He would be hired by various industries to figure out how to make people form habits, a big one was smoking in the 1920's.  Anyway, just saying one tactic that is used to get people to form habits and addictions is to produce something that is "anti" that but when you evaluate it, it actually promotes it.  An anti-porn film that is full of porn? Sounds fishy to me.

The first time I saw Don Jon I was offended, turned it off early in the game and literally burned the DVD. Then, after talking to a few guys on the site I decided to give it a complete viewing, which I did on Netflix. [Possible Trigger Alert] While there were simulated porn shots in the early scenes none of them showed genitals, not to mention penetrations, etc. [End Trigger Alert] I call it simulated porn because that's how I perceived it. It looked like it was going to become porn at any second, but it never did.

The entire tone of the movie, IMHO, was anti-porn and the message was that porn and masturbation were not nearly as good as real sexual intercourse. The happy ending of the movie was when he discovered that he could lose himself in a sexual relationship with another human and that was preferable to jerking off to porn. I doubt that the porn merchants wanted that message out there.

You could be right. Like I said I have no proof of that except like you said you don't think the porn merchants would want that message out , however ads for don jon were run on porn websites.  And there was tons of porn in that movie. Ive seen much of the actual porn that they show in the movie. scenes from real porno. but anyway I have no idea if what I think has any real basis.  Just my thoughts on the movie.  I understand the message behind the movie and it is a good one, but I personally won't be watching it again. too many triggers for me.

The ads probably weren't "on" porn sites. Internet advertising works by gauging your interests and placing adds to match those interests. If you shop for a new car on the Internet you will likely see ads for new cars. If the guy next to you has been shopping for hotel rooms in LA and goes to the same site he'll probably see ads for hotel rooms. I would guess that Don Jon matches to porn and pops up on porn sites. It could be triggered by visiting anti-porn sites too. The ads you see on the Internet have very little, if anything, to do with the site you are visiting when you see them.

I actually never saw ads for Don Jon on any pornsites, I read articles about them being ran on pornsites. Here's a few articles http://www.geeksofdoom.com/2013/09/19/joseph-gordon-levitt-placed-ads-for-don-jon-on-popular-porn-sites
http://www.businessinsider.com/don-jon-advertises-on-adult-site-pornhub-2013-10
http://www.motherjones.com/mixed-media/2013/09/don-jon-porn-film-joseph-gordon-levitt

Here's part of the last article- "And the conspicuous appearance of the website's logo (speaking about pornhub) in Don Jon was no accident. It was a carefully coordinated effort by the crew, and one that's certainly boosting the site's profile. A representative for Pornhub has yet to confirm to me whether or not they paid for placement, but Corey Price, a vice president at the company, offered a statement outlining the collaboration: "A producer approached us in March 2012 seeking permission to use our brand in a movie starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Scarlett Johansson."

 

[p.enlightenment]

I found the movie helpful, even as a recovering porn addict. The perspective was really interesting and I was able to relate in some ways and it had a positive feel at the end. You could really see how the protagonist was better off without porn and how it affected his life and views.

If you can get past the triggers I think it is helpful. The triggers didn't affect me personally.

 

[Username]

After reaching the 90 days, I felt ready to watch the movie despite all the triggers yesterday. Still, I mostly averted my eyes during the porn flicks because they made me feel uncomfortable (especially in company of my girlfriend).

What do I think about the movie itself? It's a bit too simplistic for there are very few hints about withdrawal symptoms and the likes. However, I like how the main character develops (after all, the movie is just about 80 minutes long) and the realization that porn is detrimental begins to dawn on him. Johansson's role is extremely superficial but offers some good insight into young relationships nowadays, I guess. Both, Jon and Barbara, have been raised on false ideas and ideals. In Jon's case, we also get to know his family and thus have an idea where is initial opinions about women were imposed upon him. Ultimately, I was positively surprised by how it all played out in the end: Gladly, Jon and Barbara do not get back together because their characters don't match. And Julianne Moore does a spledid job in conveying simple yet effective messages from her perspective as an older woman. Gotta love her for taking every movie up a notch.
Final verdict: 80 minutes and a couple of bucks for renting well spent. The movie is more than I hoped for yet less than it could be. But I'm grateful that it opened doors for this sensitive topic.

 

[toofat]

I've never heard of this movie, and have avoided reading the other's responses because I want to avoid possible spoilers, but you definitely have my ears perked. How did you watch the movie? IMDB says the movie is from 2013, so I assume it's no longer in the theater. Did you use an instant streaming service, rent the DVD from somewhere or buy it?

 

[LTE]

I've never heard of this movie, and have avoided reading the other's responses because I want to avoid possible spoilers, but you definitely have my ears perked. How did you watch the movie? IMDB says the movie is from 2013, so I assume it's no longer in the theater. Did you use an instant streaming service, rent the DVD from somewhere or buy it?

I know that it's been on Netflix on demand and probably Amazon video too.

 

[Username]

@toofat: It's always a pleasure to receive some feedback, so thanks for that first. I rented the DVD. However, if you intend to watch it with your husband, I recommend you make sure that he's already past the worst and not that susceptible to triggers anymore.

 

[LTE]

@toofat: It's always a pleasure to receive some feedback, so thanks for that first. I rented the DVD. However, if you intend to watch it with your husband, I recommend you make sure that he's already past the worst and not that susceptible to triggers anymore.

The first time I saw the early scenes it was pretty traumatic. It looks like porn, but shows no genitalia.

 

[AoMSentMe]

I've had this queued on Netflix for awhile, good to get some feedback here about it. Does anyone know of any other movies that deal with this topic well?