Age 24, ED fully healed after 15 months! Here to give back to the reboot community :)

[JOEJOE90]

Joejoe congrats! You are an inspiration and im so happy for you!

Out of curiosity, when did you start having sex and oing w your partner? How many os did you have w your partner during the reboot?

Im older than you , 32, but had about 10 yrs pmo under my belt so i am a longer rebooter too. Im almost 9 months hardmode inand have made a lot of progress both mentally and erection wise but im not 100 percent yet. Im likely going to start having sex soon ( fairly confident ill be successful although im not fully cured yet). Any advice?

Hi Gambit123,

Congrats on making it this far! You are doing awesome man. My advice is:

Rewire! Rewire! Rewire! You are ready for it buddy. As Gabe did though, If you choose to O, I recommend no more than 1 or 2 every 2 weeks or so just for the first month or two, just so you don't over do it and send yourself back into a flatline which I did several times. Soon you will know where the threshold is and can adjust it in time. Take it easy and you'll be firing on all cylinders in no time.

Note: O's gave me a neurological hangover afterwards for a while ( light headed, brain foggy, anxiety) perhaps was too soon for me or was just my body adjusting. but eventually that disappeared as well.

You are in a good place and in my honest opinion, I believe rewiring is the final step for you as you have done a great reboot and given your tackle a lot of time to rest and recover. Now it's time to show him the way home Obviously time does wonders too. Month 9-12 months, I noticed a lot of positive and exciting changes in my mind and body......just never get too over confident because you eventually get burned if you play with fire like i did once or twice. Stay on the no PMO path at all costs! Sounds like I don't need to tell you though, you've killed it buddy.

To answer your other question: I O'd probably 3 or so times a week with partner for the first month or so???.completely forced by the way ( I don't really recommend it and still don't know khow how I did it either haha) and it made me feel shit afterwards mentally and withdrawal wise...all to please the girl hey   I do believe that was crazy for a rebooter like me and may have prolonged the healing time but at least I did some solid rewiring for the real deal early on. Probably 3-6 month mark, maybe once a week (sometimes more, sometimes less) and then 6-12 month, once a week or once every two, sometimes three weeks ( honeymoon period is over haha but worked well for me with my reboot) in between that all, I would often do 3-4 week reboots whenever I could, this always helped immensely as well. My journey was a little unorthodox compared to a lot of other rebooters out there as I was forcing O's early on at first ( with partner only) and always rewiring. I believe the O's sometimes set me back and stalled me but saying that, the rewiring component sped things up as well in a different way i suspect.

In a perfect world, my advice would be rewire ASAP with a loving Partner without O for a period of time. Then slowly introduce O's when you body feels ready with your partner. O's sometimes can kick you out of flatline ( if it's been while) as well I found but sometimes it will set you back if too soon ( a bit of Russian roulette hey haha). The perfect way isn't always realistic though and just one way of doing it, so a long as you take some time out from O, leave PMO behind forever and all behavior associated with it, Rewire, Rewire, Rewire! (That includes socializing with people and flirting) You will reverse the brain changes in time. If it's not real, then no DEAL! as the good man Gabe says!

Well done though buddy, you are killing it. You should feel so proud of what you have achieved and know you are now on the final hurdle. So happy for you man. Keep going a let me know how you go. Here to help and share my experiences where I can. Just my thoughts and experience though man. I wish all the best for you my friend.

 

[Gambit123]

Man thanks so much for the rhoughtful post. I needed it. I have been feeling down for multiple reasons including the fact that my reboot isnt over yet. Maybe thats just it - i need to do rewiring to get me to the finish lines. I hang w friends and go on maybe a date or two a month, but this reboot has unfortunately not involved muchkussing, cuddling, etc. I am visiting a female friend in a couple weeks in a diff country and am a bit nervous to try sex even though im in a better spot than i was 8.5 months ago. So your erectile health/ quality continued to improve after the 9 mark and still continues to improve today? Do you think i should tell my friend before i visit her about this issue or wait and see what happens when i arrive and try sex? Man i have had a rough weekend. Much love for your resppnses.

 

[andsauce]

In a perfect world, my advice would be rewire ASAP with a loving Partner without O for a period of time. Then slowly introduce O's when you body feels ready with your partner. O's sometimes can kick you out of flatline ( if it's been while) as well I found but sometimes it will set you back if too soon ( a bit of Russian roulette hey haha). The perfect way isn't always realistic though and just one way of doing it, so a long as you take some time out from O, leave PMO behind forever and all behavior associated with it, Rewire, Rewire, Rewire! (That includes socializing with people and flirting) You will reverse the brain changes in time. If it's not real, then no DEAL! as the good man Gabe says!

I have the same feeling that rebooters need to have real sex with their partner to get cured. In other words, no PMO wont cure you. Having sex with real people cures you.

I am a long time rebooter (I started rebooting in 2014 and never relapse) but I did not feel better until I started having sex with my girl friend. Please do not get me wrong. No PMO is very important but what really cures is having sex with real people.

 

[regguyinpa]

Hey I agree with you. I started dating and going out. People should Go out and date and have fun . Socialize and get yourself rewired. I had so much fun the other day just going on a lunch date and having a few drinks outside then holding hands and kissing in a park. I strongly recommend it.

 

[JOEJOE90]

Hey I agree with you. I started dating and going out. People should go out and date and have fun . Socialize and get yourself rewired. I had so much fun the other day just going on a lunch date and having a few drinks outside then holding hands and kissing in a park. I strongly recommend it.

Hi Reggutinpa,

Looks like great minds think alike Glad to hear you are getting out their and mingling. I believe rewiring is so important for making a full recovery, especially for guys who got hooked to PMO at a young age and lacked sexual experience like my good self. I'm not just referring to sex but also dating, flirting, cuddling and socialising etc. However, I can only speak from my experience but it seems from other success stories I've also read including Gabe's, that rewiring has played an important role throughout the recovery process.

And your right, dating is so much fun and provides a lot of feel good endorphins. People should get out there and start dating. No need to put your life on hold. Spare time is the devils playground after all, especially for addicts so why not date right! Happy for you buddy. nice one. Upwards and beyond!

 

[JOEJOE90]

In a perfect world, my advice would be rewire ASAP with a loving Partner without O for a period of time. Then slowly introduce O's when you body feels ready with your partner. O's sometimes can kick you out of flatline ( if it's been while) as well I found but sometimes it will set you back if too soon ( a bit of Russian roulette hey haha). The perfect way isn't always realistic though and just one way of doing it, so a long as you take some time out from O, leave PMO behind forever and all behavior associated with it, Rewire, Rewire, Rewire! (That includes socializing with people and flirting) You will reverse the brain changes in time. If it's not real, then no DEAL! as the good man Gabe says!

I have the same feeling that rebooters need to have real sex with their partner to get cured. In other words, no PMO wont cure you. Having sex with real people cures you.

I am a long time rebooter (I started rebooting in 2014 and never relapse) but I did not feel better until I started having sex with my girl friend. Please do not get me wrong. No PMO is very important but what really cures is having sex with real people.

Thanks Never_Give_Up.

It's great to get feedback and get a better understanding of what has worked for other people. This is obviously very useful for people in the rebooting stage of recovery. Rewiring appears to be an ongoing trend with successful rebooters and is what I believe is the way home for most people who have rebooted after a period of time. Only one way to find out after all. Just my opinion though

As I said, i still orgasmed with a partner throughout my reboot with only small 3 week reboots here and there (better then PMO 3 times a day though haha). This wasn't ideal but I still believe I recovered due to the rewiring part, which was important for me being a young dude without much experience.. ...and perhaps is why I still managed to recover without a 90+ reboot etc. I suspect, if I MO'd without a partner during my reboot, things would have been very different. Hard to say though, but that's what I reckon. Man the PMO game is a racket though?Lots of trial and error and listening to your body?.Patience is a viture I'm afraid.

nice one man, glad to hear you have had success. All the best

 

[JOEJOE90]

Man thanks so much for the rhoughtful post. I needed it. I have been feeling down for multiple reasons including the fact that my reboot isnt over yet. Maybe thats just it - i need to do rewiring to get me to the finish lines. I hang w friends and go on maybe a date or two a month, but this reboot has unfortunately not involved muchkussing, cuddling, etc. I am visiting a female friend in a couple weeks in a diff country and am a bit nervous to try sex even though im in a better spot than i was 8.5 months ago. So your erectile health/ quality continued to improve after the 9 mark and still continues to improve today? Do you think i should tell my friend before i visit her about this issue or wait and see what happens when i arrive and try sex? Man i have had a rough weekend. Much love for your resppnses.

Hi Gambit123,

Not a problem man, here to help where I can as I've been there too and know how tough and emotionally draining the recovery process can be at times. You just got to ride through the storm and know sunny days and clear skies are ahead. It is only temporary, even though it can feel like forever at the time??trust me, i know

Also, you are doing great buddy, it's hard for me to give advice on what you should do with telling her or not though man. I think you should not over think it and see how you feel when the moment arrives. Here's what Noah from YBOP recommends. See link below:

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/content/how-do-i-tell-her-im-addicted-porn

I would either have a go and see how you do if things get sexual (you might surprise yourself but just make your you don't stress about it too much if possible?.Anxiety is terrible for erections, even for guys without PMO addiction) And know it might take a few mins for your fella to get the deal?it's been a while after all?All I'm saying is be confident but don't have to high expectations?this is the final chapter of your recovery but only the beginning of the chapter if you know what I mean. If you miss fire which is of course is possible and happened to me numerous times, just let her know about your situation and that you just want to focus on her for now and if it works, you will give it a go. That way, it takes a bit of pressure of you to perform and she still gets taken care of and you still get to rewire. Let her know you are almost recovered too as you are?..just need to restart the engine and get things going again?but you don't want to rush it.

or

You can just be upfront with her and let her know you are almost recovered but still might be a bit early for you still?.Let her know it's happening to lots of other guys out there and that you are doing this because you respect woman and want to be the best version of yourself?.and no longer want to live in fantasy world with pixels like most other guys do without realising it. If you are genuine and don't make it seem like too big of a deal, she will be understanding and may even want to help you etc. Just let her know you still want to focus on her though tonight and she still will like that anyway A lot of sexually selfish guys out there from what I've heard, just saying.


Anyway hope that helps a little, Kind of hard to answer this on here but that's what I would do. Just don't be discouraged, know erection days may be non-linear for a period of time as well but that will pass. I know It's hard to see sometimes but you will be fully recovered in no time. Keep up the awesome work man. You should be so proud.  Not enough guys give themselves credit for tackling their demons and working their way through this unforeseen addiction. We are all warriors here and will be so much stronger in the long run then other guys who have not gone through this hell and continue to fapp their monkey instead of living in the real world.

I wish you all the best. Also check out this link on one of Gabe's posts if you haven't already?.very helpful.

http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=2956.0

 

[roku123]

Thanks for sharing. Gives guys like me a lot of motivation. Your story is very similar to mine, had oral sex many times in high school but never intercourse. Figured I just had performance anxiety. I am now 19 and on my way to recovery. Last year around this time I learned that porn was the cause of my ED. I had about a 5 month period of attempting to abstain from porn but gave into cravings frequently. Then I got my shit together and I have now been porn free for 4 months. For some reason HJs from my girlfriend would work for me, so those have been my only source of O. 2 weeks ago however I moved away from my girlfriend for college so I am now complete abstaining from P, M, & O. I am hopeful that by the time I go home for winter break my ED is cured and I can have sex with my girlfriend. If not though that's alright, I understand that this is going to be a long process.

I am unsure how much the past 4 months without porn have helped me, since I was still O'ing a good amount. It has definitely had a positive impact though because I now have no trouble staying away from porn, as opposed to when I first started attempting a reboot and I would give in to cravings and reset myself completely. Now it isn't as much of a mental struggle, I just have to be patient and let the passing of time do the trick. I'm extremely excited to not only have sex but to see my everyday anxiety continue to decrease. Since I've quit porn I have noticed a significant increase in confidence which has helped me in my sport tremendously. Can't wait to be completely healthy!