johnbenben
Member
Hello, Guys. First I would like to apologize for my English as it is not my native language, but there is no such forum that would be active in my country. So sorry for grammatical and stylistic mistakes I'll make, but I start to think this is the only way to change my life to the other direction that I could be proud off. Problem with masturbation and porn started when I was 10 or 12 years old. Now when I remember at first it looked like normal and decent behavior of young teenage boy, but somehow I've started to get involved more and more with this bad habit. Now I understand that many anxious hours at school, lack of confidence in many situations was escalated because of it. At the age of 17-18 it became an addiction and real problem. With better internet speed and my abilities to find many things online without any limitations this habit became pretty much daily activity. Even when I had a girlfriend it has not stopped. Now I'm 25 years old. Had to stop my studies 3 times because of anxiety problems. To regain confidence when socializing or to kill anxiety I use too much alcohol. Even tried to use antidepressants, but it just helped to hide effects of this problem but did not solve the problem itself. Had couple of long term relationships with bad ending. Tried to stop many times, but it goes only up to week or two and then starts again. I never told anyone about this and I think this is the worst part. You are trying to hide it and always feeling ashamed of your actions and it starts to escalate to the mountain heights. In next 100 days I will try to change my habits and even quit smoking/drinking and also eat healthier but the main problem is PMO and I'm declaring a war to it. I only can imagine how hard it will get from time to time, so I hope you will help me to overcome it. Really happy to be here. Hopefully we will all break free from this unwanted position together!