Daily PMOer to 200 days PMO free with a new outlook on life

[handgrenade]

I was a porn user for about 8 years who PMOed everyday and had low confidence in life. I made a pledge one day this past winter to never watch porn or masturbate again. I have stuck to this goal and have received immense benefits in all areas of my life.

I consider this a partial success story because I still have not achieved my goal, which is to have meaningful sex with a woman I love. The success does come in part to staying off PMO for 200 plus days, and counting. I have become more confident in all areas of my life, including meeting and talking to women.

I have substituted watching porn with other things I am passionate about such as fishing, business, and reading. After the first month or so I began to stop frequently visiting this site and thinking about porn because I developed the mindset that porn is simply not an option.

The reason for me writing this is to personally help someone out. if needed, I am willing to email someone 1 on 1 or have Skype conversations if i feel comfortable down the line to guide someone through the process. If you have made up your mind to stay off PMO and need some help navigating the first few months, then this is perfect for you. I will help out anyone who posts on this thread. I will try to taylor help and advice specific to the persons situation to try and create the most value.

BTW my journal is available for anyone who wants a closer look about my journey thus far.

 

[lizardmaster]

Congrats!

 

[McQueen]

Perhaps you could give me perspective on my situation.
By posting this I know I would normally just wait for a reply..seriously doing nothing but wait for a forum reply is what I would normally do. Part of the subset of internet porn addiction is internet addiction, I won't however, check back tomorrow or early next week now.

I knew I had a problem with porn and an addiction at the end of 2013, I am severely addicted. The sad truth is that I wanted and tried to stop since then and haven't made it a month clean. That is crazy so clearly by life has been completely consumed by internet use and being alone on it really. I know this is all in my control very messed up, I actually hate my life, my reason for relapsing and watching was to ease pain, I am 20 and have severe  PIED, no friends, social life, girls, virgin, it is as bad as possible. I actually had thoughts about killing myself today which is very messed up I know I would never do that after I used porn this morning, coming off a binge over several days when I had abstained for 2 weeks no porn or masturbation or orgasm.

I didn't know why I kept watching until I have dug deep about easing pain, thinking I hate my life because of pied and porn induced brain changes and some other circumstances that i can 100% change and control so why am I still watching when it is the cause of the majority of my problems and issues, to ease the pain of having these issues to begin with? and some other stuff like being socially isolated, etc...yet watching porn is the cause of these problems so WTF. I am not even ugly or anything, I am decent looking tall and dress well/workout with a slim build currently. But as a mindless brain dead porn zombie with no sex drive and a dead dick, that goes out the window. I also compare myself on the internet/in real life a lot thinking I must be perfect, as negative thought that I am changing and questioning.

So enough negative rambling in self pity. FUCK THAT.

I have got rid of my smart phone, I just bought and am using a dumb phone (basic text/call no internet) and since I want to improve my non existent social skills I am keeping it.
I alternate between parents house and university, I am at my parents house now and go back to University at the end of September.
The only thing left associated with my addiction, I also have read everything and written it down from YBOP I know all about the neurobiology etc, is my laptop which is a new macbook. I got it to use for work related things/school and to use in a different environment a public area etc unlike my previous laptop which was like a computer.
Therefore I have committed to use my laptop only as a work tool now, or for educational research NOT for an entertainment device like TV shows and Youtube which is a pointless waste of time. I don't watch TV or have social media, I dislike both for many reasons.
My Plan of action is this, my addicted brain changes are very strong now, I know my reasons for choosing to use porn. I never want to use again. I don't give a fuck how painful recovery is now because life with porn is worse.
So therefore I am planning to only use my laptop when I around family members now or in public (which I rarely have gone out besides gym in the early morning) and for work. Maximising time in real life. I take cold showers daily since mid august. I have a gym membership and a lot of student work to do. I have books and other stuff to do. I literally thought myself to death since then thinking about these problems combined with an isolated internet life EVERY DAY basically since 2014 beginning.
I have never shared this before on a public forum but i am anonymous, so of course this reboot is unique to each individual in recovering but how about some thoughts OP? My other problem is I have been a THINKER not a DOER which gets me NOWHERE in life. I put stuff of to tomorrow all the time and I have been a lazy loser.
Clearly a dramatic life change in environment,lifestyle and mindset is needed and what I am promising myself to do.

 

[McQueen]

I will also add another thought I have had is "I can't talk to girls because my dick is dead...im scared of them etc...runs away to use porn..etc.as mentioned".
I still have a sense of humor though...well not much left..haha so congrats to your 200 days clean too man.
I may have wasted 16-20.5 years but I HAVE my twenties left. That is up to me. I hope I look back at these posts in the future thinking thank god I am not there anymore.

 

[handgrenade]

What's going on drugfree,

First off, congrats for finally getting everything out I know this isn't easy, but arent yourhappy you did? I know seeking help takes a lot of courage and I'm glad you took the first step. Like you said taking action is what it's all about and is the hardest part. It seems like you've started to do that with your phone and laptop so your moving in the right direction. I'm going to give you some advice to keep the ball rolling.

I'm glad that you accept that it is your decisions that put you where you are. The good news is that you also have the power to change that and move forward. 2 weeks PMO free is a great start and you should be happy with that progress and build on it. Gradual steps away from porn will slowly build your confidence in all areas of your life. When this starts to build you can apply this to different things across your life. Going back to school will be good for you to get involved socially. What is it that you enjoy doing? It may be playing a sport or reading, but whatever it is join a club or group and use it to connect with other people. This will build your confidence socially and you can build personal relationships and a social circle.

All in all work on bettering your life. It seems like your on the right path to making this happen. When you return to school you will be busy with work, the gym, and other things so focus on improving in these areas and the thoughts about porn will slowly fade away.

Good luck and keep us all posted. We're all here for you.

 

[lee]

Hi:
My life was deeply changed by PMO, social anxiety had finally developed into heavy brain fog and low energy, no motivation etc... Until finally I find the concept of no fap. I feel like a zombie after I develop social anxiety in late 2013. I quit PMO in April 2015. As the challenge went from day zero to day 120 (today). I don't really see any benefits that I want to have. I mean, even goes for four full months, my energy has not back to normal, I get brain fog from time to time, I do not have motivation to engage in daily activities... The benefits I got are, mental clarity seems gets a somewhat clearer and I see 50% morning woods from time to time.

So this is why I searched many information from different people. I accidentally had a fap when I was 7 years old, and I start regular (about once a week) fap habit at high school. My case is similar to gabe deem, who start to fap at 8 years old. He took 9 months to recover. So I am assuming that I will need 9 months as well. But the point is, though this process is not linear, how can I guarantee that brain fog, low energy and no motivation would disappear after around 9 months? How about the case for you? You have been doing no fap for 6 months, do you get general improvement in these symptoms?? Thank you for replying!

 

[chpcbr]

lee, and all of us here really, keep in mind that some of the issues you experience in life might not be consequences of PMO and might not be fixed by a reboot.

I mean, keep up the good work and it's possible that you need more time to see more benefit, but also consider the possibility that something else is wrong in your life.

 

[sodonewithit]

Hi:
My life was deeply changed by PMO, social anxiety had finally developed into heavy brain fog and low energy, no motivation etc... Until finally I find the concept of no fap. I feel like a zombie after I develop social anxiety in late 2013. I quit PMO in April 2015. As the challenge went from day zero to day 120 (today). I don't really see any benefits that I want to have. I mean, even goes for four full months, my energy has not back to normal, I get brain fog from time to time, I do not have motivation to engage in daily activities... The benefits I got are, mental clarity seems gets a somewhat clearer and I see 50% morning woods from time to time.

So this is why I searched many information from different people. I accidentally had a fap when I was 7 years old, and I start regular (about once a week) fap habit at high school. My case is similar to gabe deem, who start to fap at 8 years old. He took 9 months to recover. So I am assuming that I will need 9 months as well. But the point is, though this process is not linear, how can I guarantee that brain fog, low energy and no motivation would disappear after around 9 months? How about the case for you? You have been doing no fap for 6 months, do you get general improvement in these symptoms?? Thank you for replying!

Do you hit the gym or do something which improves your health?  Are you in good shape otherwise?  I highly recommend working out for the added benefits it gives on top of the nofap.

 

[handgrenade]

Hi:
My life was deeply changed by PMO, social anxiety had finally developed into heavy brain fog and low energy, no motivation etc... Until finally I find the concept of no fap. I feel like a zombie after I develop social anxiety in late 2013. I quit PMO in April 2015. As the challenge went from day zero to day 120 (today). I don't really see any benefits that I want to have. I mean, even goes for four full months, my energy has not back to normal, I get brain fog from time to time, I do not have motivation to engage in daily activities... The benefits I got are, mental clarity seems gets a somewhat clearer and I see 50% morning woods from time to time.

So this is why I searched many information from different people. I accidentally had a fap when I was 7 years old, and I start regular (about once a week) fap habit at high school. My case is similar to gabe deem, who start to fap at 8 years old. He took 9 months to recover. So I am assuming that I will need 9 months as well. But the point is, though this process is not linear, how can I guarantee that brain fog, low energy and no motivation would disappear after around 9 months? How about the case for you? You have been doing no fap for 6 months, do you get general improvement in these symptoms?? Thank you for replying!

Lee it is great that you have stayed away from PMO. To answer your question, yes I have seen great improvements in clarity, focus, erections, motivations, and confidence with women among other things.

Gabe is an awesome guy but I do not think you should be comparing your situation to his, or anyone else's for that matter. You have to focus on your own situation and asses where you need help. I learned my problem was comfort and confidence with women which I have worked very hard at since starting my reboot. It has paid off and the combination of quitting porn gave me an extra confidence boost as well as increased libido.

Another thing you should realize is that quitting porn will not solve all of your problems, like the previous poster said. In my situation, it helped me in many ways but I am also working on other parts of my life I need to improve.

I recommend that you sit down and take a look at your life and write down things you are happy with and the things you want to change. Write down some goals, some short term and some long term. This will give you something to work for. It will also allow you to look at whats not going well in your life then you can take steps to improving that specific area.

Let me know how you do and keep all of us posted. We are here for you.