Relapsed, but is it that all bad if I didn't watch porn?

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Camouflage

Active Member
I am currently on day 80 of no PMO. But I relapsed twice: once yesterday and once today. I didn't watch porn however! During both relapses I fantasized about a girl that I know. In my fantasy, I wasn't thinking of anything kinky, just me and her having sex. Do you think that this relapse will set me back? Or could it be considered a kind of rewiring, since I had a romantic fantasy about a real girl?

Even if the relapse sets me back in my reboot, I did find that I have made a lot of progress. Before my reboot it took me 30+ minutes to come without porn and sometimes I couldn't come at all during masturbation. But now I was able to come pretty easily with just a soft fantasy. This is very encouraging! It proves to me that NoFap actually works! I have also had some sexual encounters during my rebooting time, and I have observed a lot of progress in sex as well.

I realize that I can never go back to porn. But I was thinking that perhaps I am already cured enough so that I can continue a regular masturbation routine (once per day perhaps) without porn. But I am afraid that my DE problems come back if I start wanking daily. What do you guys think? Should I just continue with the NoFap hardcore mode?
 
chpcbr

chpcbr

Active Member
Personally, I don't see much of a problem in what you did. Others will disagree, but the one rule for me is don't wank to porn. Everything else is debatable.

This said, do you really need a masturbation routine of once per day? What's the point? Are you really desperately, painfully horny and in need of release every single day? You tell me, but I don't think so. It's probably better if you think in terms of weeks, at least.
 
Pr3c1se

Pr3c1se

Well-Known Member
^^ my thoughts exactly....

Why do you even seen a once a day "routine" of masturbation....

I am against all forms of porn wwether it be in your mind or via computer.  Anything that's not real, stay away from!
 
C

Camouflage

Active Member
Well you got me! :D I am not desperately in need of release every day... I would like to masturbate only because it feels good. It is my understanding that before high speed internet porn, guys wanked pretty much every day without it causing any ED problems. Am I wrong with this?

Anyway, the main thing for me is to completely cure my ED and DE problems and be able to perform well in real sex. If it means that I should stay away from wanking completely, I will certainly do just that.
 
chpcbr

chpcbr

Active Member
Well, I am not sure that every guy wanked every day "back in the day"!  :) But really, I think you shouldn't set it as a goal, or as a calendar routine. Sure it feels good, but some sexual tension also feels good in a way (I think there's a quote by Tyson about abstinence before a big match). Too much satisfaction makes you soft (pun partially intended). So I am not telling you to stay away completely, but it keep it real, moderate and maybe buy an Xbox or something! ;)
 
sodonewithit

sodonewithit

Active Member
They will come back if you wank daily.  While I think one could have a pull every second month or so I would rather  focus on the ladies....
 
Pr3c1se

Pr3c1se

Well-Known Member
Yep stay away from MO.  I only masturbate about once a month now, sometimes less.

I feel it gives me more motivation, more time, and it causes me to be more social and get out more.

Plus since I made my girlfriend my only form of sexual release, I am so addicted to everything about her.  I notice things I normally would not notice, etc...  It's a great feeling.

There are SO many benefits to not constantly masturbating.  Give it up!  It's a complete waste of time.

 
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Derrickrose1989

Member
I have been going to theraphy due to porn ed and rebooting for almost 30 days and my sex therapist told me that i could masturbate as much as i want to just by fantasizying (no porn!!!) he said i need to improve my creating fantasizes skills by masturbating. So i am not sure if masturbating is okay during reboot but many sex therapist will allow you masturbate without porn during reboot.
 
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Camouflage

Active Member
Thanks a lot for the input guys! I guess you are right. I have seen awesome results from my hard mode reboot, so why go back to fapping? Besides, I still have occasional problems with both erection and ejaculation, so I am hoping that continuing with NoFap will give me even more benefits.

Derrickrose, I undestand the argument about improving fantasizing skills. My first attempt at a reboot was similar: I stopped porn but continued with masturbation. But that didn't work for me! I saw no improvement with my DE and ED problems until I started the "hard mode" reboot with no masturbation or fantasy. Even then it took several weeks before I started seeing results. But during my streak of 79 days without wanking I saw great results! Solid morning woods, better erections in sex, easier orgasms in sex etc. I didn't believe this when I started. Quitting MO didn't make sense to me. But this seems to be the experience of most guys here: quitting porn is not enough to rewire our brain back to the real thing. A break from MO is usually needed as well.

But when I started the MO break I wasn't really planning on quitting it forever! :D
 
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gnein

Member
Camouflage said:
Well you got me! :D I am not desperately in need of release every day... I would like to masturbate only because it feels good. It is my understanding that before high speed internet porn, guys wanked pretty much every day without it causing any ED problems. Am I wrong with this?

Anyway, the main thing for me is to completely cure my ED and DE problems and be able to perform well in real sex. If it means that I should stay away from wanking completely, I will certainly do just that.
Click to expand...

I'm an old-school guy who went through my teens without the Internet.  I didn't wank everyday back then.  Heck, even when I started getting porn magazines, I still didn't wank everyday.  It was maybe a couple of times a week. 

I do believe there can be benefits to "cleaning the pipes" every so often if you don't have any other sexual release, but even then it certainly doesn't need to be every day.
 
Pr3c1se

Pr3c1se

Well-Known Member
gnein said:
Camouflage said:
Well you got me! :D I am not desperately in need of release every day... I would like to masturbate only because it feels good. It is my understanding that before high speed internet porn, guys wanked pretty much every day without it causing any ED problems. Am I wrong with this?

Anyway, the main thing for me is to completely cure my ED and DE problems and be able to perform well in real sex. If it means that I should stay away from wanking completely, I will certainly do just that.
Click to expand...

I'm an old-school guy who went through my teens without the Internet.  I didn't wank everyday back then.  Heck, even when I started getting porn magazines, I still didn't wank everyday.  It was maybe a couple of times a week. 

I do believe there can be benefits to "cleaning the pipes" every so often if you don't have any other sexual release, but even then it certainly doesn't need to be every day.
Click to expand...

Yeah, MOing every day is nonsense and is definitely not needed.  Keep it to once a week MAX.  I'd suggest even less (specially if you're getting laid)
 
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klarson27

Active Member
For me I cut out MO completely and I'm happy I did..

I had initially thought that I was OK because I made a conscious effort to not visualize any of the porn I had viewed in my many years of addiction. I focused on the feeling only and was content to do it like that.

The problem that I saw with it was that it was still consuming energy (sexual and emotional) that is better reserved for more productive things. I still find myself seeking out attractive women in any given social setting and I typically stare at them like a pig (unfortunately), but I've found that the sexual energy that I've reserved my not masturbating results in frequent stares back and/or return of sexual energy. And I enjoy it, it's real and raw sexual energy.

just my take on it.
 
Pr3c1se

Pr3c1se

Well-Known Member
Masturbation is like procrastination, in the end you're only fucking yourself!! hahahaha

(as I procrastinate responding to people on this site instead of getting my work done. lmao oh well)
 
Molar32

Molar32

Member
I have a death grip problem, not a Porn addiction problem. I would encourage you to not M nor MO. It is good that you are no longer using artificial stimuli but M / MO will increase if you make it a habit and eventually you will arrive to death grip ED which may push you back to P.

Best to take care of this with a real female.
 
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Camouflage

Active Member
Ok you have convinced me! I am hereby quitting masturbation for good. :) I was sceptical about this rebooting thing, but I am already super happy with the results! I am sure that continuing with NoFap will only make things even better.

Just one more thing. I have a long distance relationship with a girl, and occasionally she wants to have Skype sex: we both masturbate in camera. Is it relapsing, what do you think? Granted, it does involve my hand (danger of death gripping) and highly seducitve visuals. But it is my girlfriend after all (although we have only dated for 3 weeks). If you think that it is bad for my progress, I will avoid those situations and focus all energy on our next live meeting.
 
Pr3c1se

Pr3c1se

Well-Known Member
I'd stay away from it.  There's no way that'll benefit you.  Specially since it's such a new relationship.
 
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