Never too late to change

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tift14

Guest
Earlier tonight after I got home from work, I  had the PMO urge as I have multiple times a day for several years now. After it was all done, I felt like absolute hell. Worthless, depressed, incompetent. In searching online I happened to come across the reboot idea. It's got to be worth a shot, so tonight I'm stopping cold turkey. It's really going to be a step by step thing. First goal is one week, then two, three, and so on. Gotta start somewhere.

I'm 24, in relatively good health. Started noticing lately that erections weren't what they used to be. I think it's because PMO 2-3 times a day was just the routine and my brain no longer saw anything related to sex as special. It's actually a little scary to think about how much of my life this has already taken. At 24, I'm still a virgin and terrified of social situations.

Here's to a new day guys. It's never too late to change. And I'm hoping this changes a lot.
 
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SETI

Active Member
Hello thift!

Welcome to the forums!
There is a lot of information out there about PMO and its effects. I find it is valuable to get informed so that when it get a little tough, you can fall back on reason and give yourself some good arguments why you need to reboot to improve your life.

Writing here about my reboot has really helped me and it makes the whole thing less lonely. You can also get some good feedback here when you are in doubt about something.

Best of luck and keep us updated on your journey  :)
 
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tift14

Guest
Hey SETI, thanks for the warm welcome.  It really does help knowing there are other guys out there dealing with this same problem who are so supportive. People who haven't dealt with PIED (though they mean well) can only help so much.

In about a half hour, I'll have made it a day without PMO. That's a really small accomplishment compared to what so many of you guys have done, but it's a first for me in a long, long time. Could definitely tell mid-evening that there was a craving, but going out and socializing helped pass it. Still feel bad about how much of my life has been wasted with this.

You guys have a great weekend; stay strong out there.
 
Gabe Deem

Gabe Deem

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
@ tift14
In about a half hour, I'll have made it a day without PMO. That's a really small accomplishment compared to what so many of you guys have done, but it's a first for me in a long, long time.
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The journey of a thousand days starts with the first 24 hours my man! Congrats on 1 day. Use your mind and energy on other healthy things and know the increase in anxiety and cravings are all part of the process if they come your way. Read through the sticky threads on this site and the FAQ's here and on YBOP (tab at the top)

but going out and socializing helped pass it. Still feel bad about how much of my life has been wasted with this.
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That is exactly what you need to keep doing. Awesome job, the best way for a man to get comfortable in social situations is to put himself in social situations. Use that regret and turn it into motivation and look at it as a positive, because now you know that porn will not satisfy you and only leads to a place you don't want to return. Plus you have a story to share in order to help others.

Hope the best for you... Welcome to the Nation!
 
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tift14

Guest
Hey Gabe, thanks for the encouraging words man. And for getting all of us together to help each other out. I really appreciate both.

Having this first 24 hours down really does feel good. This good feeling makes me wonder how good a week without PMO might feel. But I'm really worried about the next few days when the brain really catches on to what's happening.
 
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tift14

Guest
Two days officially down. Again, comparatively small accomplishment, but it feels good. Some of the frustration and withdrawal I worried about seems to be hitting a little. Nothing bad yet, but I guess after so much PMO, the brain is having that, "WTF is happening?  What's going on?!" reaction.

On the way to work yesterday morning, I heard Sting's "Brand New Day" on the radio (have a periodic affinity for bad pop....don't judge....haha) which seemed really fitting. One line in particular has sort of made it the song I like listening to a couple of times each day as the reboot begins:

How could it be that what you need the most
Can leave you feeling just like a ghost?
You never want to feel so sad and lost again
 
miomio

miomio

Active Member
tift14 said:
Having this first 24 hours down really does feel good. This good feeling makes me wonder how good a week without PMO might feel. But I'm really worried about the next few days when the brain really catches on to what's happening.
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I feel you pain, the first couple of days are hell. But somehow it does get better :D The best way to keep your motivation up is to reward yourself by reaching a goal. Maybe consider to set your first pmo-free period to a week. And stack the weeks from there until you reach 30 days.

 
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Wheels

Member
Welcome Tift. Just reading your message I can see similar things to my issues. 22 and still technically a virgin, never that good with the girls. Tried to have sex several times and it is the most embarrassing thing I have ever felt. 4 weeks on, and I seem to connecting with girls so much better. Either the girls at work, or just random ones like shop assistants, I seem to be releasing an unintentional increase in self confidence.
I am sure that you will get something similar if you keep working at it. Believe me, so far the short term downs are nothing to the long term benefits - And  I've still not had any intimacy with a girl so when that happens it will make the benefits about 40 times better!!
 
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tift14

Guest
Hey Wheels, thanks for the welcome and encouraging words man.  Sounds like there are a lot of similar themes in our stories.  Plenty of very embarrassing false starts for me too.  But I'm really encouraged by how things seem to have gone for you several weeks in.  Maybe I'll have some similar results.  The short turn downs have gotta be worth it.  Even in just the last few days I've started noticing-to the point of feeling guilty over it-how much PMO controlled me before.  Can't lie; today has been pretty rough.  Bad mood, lack of energy, feeling dehydrated, really annoyed by loud noises, just not a very nice guy to be around.  But...in a little under three hours day three with no-PMO will be done.
 
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tift14

Guest
Well guys, I'm about two hours away from hitting day five of no PMO.  Some of the urges have been borderline hell.  Last night I actually couldn't sleep but about two hours and spent a good portion of the night panicking over possibly falling asleep at work today, losing my job....goes on and on.  But it all worked out in the end.  Meditation has really helped chill me out.  Lesson: the frustration in this is temporary, but the rewards last a while.

I've noticed that productivity on the job has gone up, I'm more social and friendlier in general, and to top it off....just found out I've even managed to lose a few pounds since this started (totally fine since I'd been working on that for a while already).  And last night, happened to meet a new woman and start what have been some really great conversations so far.  Nice to feel like I actually deserve someone decent for once.

Is five days comparatively a lot?  No.  Is there a long way still to go?  You bet.  Am I so glad I made this decision?  110% yes.
 
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Wheels

Member
Again, good to see you are making positive strides fella! I've been having trouble sleeping the past few days purely because I keep thinking about the whole ED thing and worrying if it will get cured in the long run, even after my reboot.

New woman ey? did you get a number or have any plans to see her again? Thats one thing I've found in the past 30 odd days, I speak to girls more, say things I may not have said before. Even just complementing a girl on her glasses. Before I wouldn't have done it because I thought she would think I was hitting on her and find it creepy, when in truth they absolutely love it!
 
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tift14

Guest
I worry about that too, but eventually just had to accept the fact that only time will answer that question for sure.  We'll see moving forward how effective the reboot really is on fixing ED.

Man, you are right on the confidence in interacting with women.  I've very little hesitation about starting up a conversation with them now.  NEVER would have happened before.  Biggest lesson there: CHILL OUT!  If you constantly worry about saying the wrong thing, odds are better that you will.
 
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tift14

Guest
Little confused tonight guys. Really rough urge hit and I started M'ing. Intentionally there was no porn or fantasy. In fact I thought about the most boring thing I could. Think that definitely confirms the problem here, but I'm wondering...is this a relapse?  No P or O. It became clear a few minutes in nothing was going to happen. What do you guys think?  I was so happy about making it almost a week and really hate this.
 
S

SETI

Active Member
tift14 said:
Little confused tonight guys. Really rough urge hit and I started M'ing. Intentionally there was no porn or fantasy. In fact I thought about the most boring thing I could. Think that definitely confirms the problem here, but I'm wondering...is this a relapse?  No P or O. It became clear a few minutes in nothing was going to happen. What do you guys think?  I was so happy about making it almost a week and really hate this.
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That happens. If you hate it and you think its bad then you have to renew your intention not to M, I think. Also, it seems like M while you reboot will hold you back. That is something to be aware of.

I personally only reset my counter if I use porn. And I try as much as possible not to M. But a life without porn is most important for me.
 
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tift14

Guest
Agreed on all counts. I don't like anything that could slow down the reboot, but getting porn out of the equation is really the most important thing here.
 
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tift14

Guest
Hey guys, haven't updated in a bit so thought I would.  Despite one (what I'll call a) semi-relapse of MOing several days ago, everything continues to go well.  No porn, thankfully, was involved in that one.  Since then, I've honestly been too busy with work and other things to slow and let urges get anywhere.  The benefits I mentioned earlier have only gotten better.  The sex drive/morning wood/spontaneous erections (those were a problem for a while) seem to be getting more controlled and regulated.  First nocturnal emission in a VERY long time happened last night.  I don't know how all this will continue playing out, but the benefits are definitely being realized.

One other thing: a few guys have mentioned that, at some point, you stop thinking about exactly how many days it's been since PMO and it just becomes the new norm.  That may be the case in my situation here as well.  I think we can all agree that, even if PIED isn't an issue for someone, a periodic "break" for the brain from porn is good.
 
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tift14

Guest
Last few days have really been a mixed bag. Feel great one minute, like hell the next. Sunday was really bad...not sure if it was a withdrawal or what. One of the worst headaches of my life hit and put me down for a good three or four hours.

That said, I still see the improvements. Really hit it off with a girl I met back at the start of this. Who knows, that might go somewhere. Honestly, I just feel like a grown up man for the first time. Felt for a while like I'd never really matured to my age.

In the words of our gutsy as hell leader, "Keep truckin'!"
 
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tift14

Guest
Quick update for y'all.  Things continue to go well.  Giving up porn has seriously become one of the best decisions I've ever made.  For the first time, I actually feel like a grown up man in control of my life-personally, professionally, social, the whole bit.  Stress was a big problem for me before, so much so that it caused health problems.  What I've noticed over the last few weeks is that, while I still have stressful times (as we all do), I respond to and manage it in a much more controlled and calm way.

 
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