S
sjanem
Guest
Please help me! I have been with this guy for 5.5 years. I have 2 kids that adore him. He has been great...until we moved in together 1 year ago. I always knew he watched porn and masturbated but it wasn't until we moved in together that I realized how bad it is. The first 8-9 months of living together was fine (or so I'd htought). Sex began to taper off. We thought it was going to be more frequent being that we lived together but nope. 2 months ago, he became angry (out of nowhere) at me and stated that he wasn't happy because living with us meant that he could "never be alone". I simply said, well that's what family life is. People are around. It was a quick conversation and ended there. But I had a hunch that "being alone" meant masturbating. I had no idea what it really meant. About a week later, he came back from the gym and asked me if I could leave the bedroom for a little while so he could "handle his biz". I asked why I had to leave, and he said he was going to watch porn and wanted to be alone. I got angry but didn't say anything and left. An hour later I returned, and he became upset. Apparently tht wasn't enough time for him. At that point, he shut down. A few days later, he stated that he was no longer happy being with me, and didn;t want to be around me or the kids anymore. He said he loved me, but wanted to live on his own. I was shocked. I assumed it was related to the "alone time" he desired so much. He then said he loves me, but wants to be alone. He said it's a normal part of life to jerk off and watch porn. He has completely shut down since he cannot watch and jerk as much as he wantts to. He doesn't talk to us. Doesn't go places with us, etc. He has on a number of occassions jerked himself raw as I noticed when we would have sex that it was scabby/ scratched. He laughs about it. This is all no big deal and "normal" to him. He said he has been doing this a few times a week for at least 10 years. He never really had a gf, and sex with him was always a little off. He loves anal, choking, etc. I don't. He also "just doesn't like kissing, hand holding, or cuddling" (his words) This is bad. Really bad. So my question is...how can I bring this up as a real life issue? How can I get him to consider this an addiction that can be helped? How can I keep him from leaving his family? He has chosen PMO over us and plans to move out as soon as we have our finances in order. We live together but are not a couple anymore. HELP!?!?!? What should I do?