I'll make it to the moon if I have to crawl

[Enzo]

The song called "Scar Tissue" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers is one of the most influence songs in my life. There is a verse in it where Anthony Kedis sings, "I'll make it to the moon if I have to crawl." That verse has inspired me to keep on fighting and to never ever give up. That is what I'll be using to further encourage me to complete this task.

    So some background information on me is I'm a 23 year old male, from Calgary, AB, Canada. I work in the medical field and have the privilege to look after many different patients with different medical conditions or that are suffering through trauma. I love my job its fast paced, exciting, very extrinsic and very educational.
    I have the most amazing girlfriend I could ever ask for, we've been dating since December, her smile just lights up the room, she's very caring, gets along with my friends and family, also an amazing Italian cook.
    So starting in September I'll be continuing my post secondary education and going to learn more about my field.  I want to conquer my addiction by that time. I want to focus 100% on my studies so I'll be able to help people the most efficient way possible.

    I've been struggling with porn addiction for as long as I can remember, when I was a child I was addicted to video games and then that progressed to pornography because they had some sexually suggestive images in these games. I started drawing naked females, and every day I would wake up look at porn then go to school. Its gotten to the point where if I'd masturbate enough I would feel pain when trying to urinate.
    So I looked at porn earlier today and that's the final straw, I need to change my life. I need to eliminate the triggers and find ways to occupy the void. I have the biggest problem with internet porn, I don't know why. My phone and my laptop are two essential tools in my life, but also two huge problems. I need help in solving this problem. I just emailed a group therapy session and I plan to work hard, go to their sessions and live life.
    Porn drains my energy, takes up a lot of time and keeps me up at night. I need to stop and focus on living life outside of a computer.
  If you guys have any advice for me on how to block porn on my phone please let me know. I also need my phone for work.

  Thank you I'll try to post every day on this if possible.
 

 

[tift14]

Great to hear the change is going well for you man. It sounds like you've got a lot going for you and rebooting might just make life even better. And having an understanding and supportive girlfriend will be a big help, no doubt.

Regarding your earlier question on avoiding internet porn  one thing I've found helpful already is bookmarking the success stories available both here and over on YBOP. When the urge or trigger hits, open those up. It's a great reminder that this isn't easy, but guys have done it and it's changed them for the better.

We're both just getting started in this, and I wish you all the best. Keep us updated on how things go!

 

[Gabe Deem]

@ Enzo

Just now I was driving home when I saw a woman that was physically attracted towards me.
I laid down on my bed with my iphone and was about to google something related to that girls body type then I stopped myself.
I googled something about porn addiction instead, now I'm going to get up do some yoga and leave it at that!

Great job man. Replace those thoughts and ideas with something healthy. I suggest printing an educational article off YBOP and leaving the house and reading it and take notes on important points. It really helps guys to better understand what viewing porn does to our brains. We tend to like knowing how things work, and when you realize porn is holding back your brain from working at its fullest potential it helps kill the desire for it.

Keep truckin.

 

[jnv]

Hey Enzo. congratulation for stopping before failing. Some advice I'd give you is maybe changing your FIRST page when you open your browser (you know, the one which usually opens with google by default). I did this both on my computers and phone during the first week which was the hardest for me and set up the main pages both with this forum and the NoFap page from reddit instead of google. It helped me a lot and now that the urges are gone, I put BBC.com back as my main page. I'll change this again if I feel the urges coming back.

If you do this, it gives you more time to think about what you are gonna do and do not fall into the trap, well at least it worked for me.

 

[calisthenict]

@ Enzo

Just now I was driving home when I saw a woman that was physically attracted towards me.
I laid down on my bed with my iphone and was about to google something related to that girls body type then I stopped myself.
I googled something about porn addiction instead, now I'm going to get up do some yoga and leave it at that!

Great job man. Replace those thoughts and ideas with something healthy. I suggest printing an educational article off YBOP and leaving the house and reading it and take notes on important points. It really helps guys to better understand what viewing porn does to our brains. We tend to like knowing how things work, and when you realize porn is holding back your brain from working at its fullest potential it helps kill the desire for it.

Keep truckin.

You mean the reboot basics section? Ive copied to Word and its about 10 pages.
It contains links though, I am now 4 days clean and almost a year of trying to quit. I am lucky that I am still young and thus I will now take the time to truly understand this addiction while I am also walking the talk. Thanks for your help man.
I usely get lost on the internet because there is soo much, its makes me neurotic and fucks me up completely.
So much superficial bullshit like, change your life in 3 steps, 7 tips to ... its all stimulation.

 

[Gabe Deem]

@ calisthenict

You mean the reboot basics section? I've copied to Word and its about 10 pages.

The reboot basics article is great so Yes! Also, print off some of the articles filed under the "Articles" tap. I made like a book of different articles and studied them and took notes and this was the biggest help during my reboot. Avoid the waste of time, try and only use the internet for educational purposes or support from things like this forum

 

[jkkk]

I've decided I'm going to a sexaholics anonymous meeting Friday at noon. Then Sunday I'm going to go to church for the first time in a long time. I know a great one in the city that's more open to things and I think getting in touch with religion again God can help me concur this

Enzo, I love your no-nonsense approach

I'm keeping fingers crossed for you.

I can see that there are lots of triggers that you keep identifying around you. Well, I can relate to that. This addiction is a lot about how to start using Internet in a safe way. And safe is almost always meaning "limited". 99% of Internet sites, including seemingly "vanilla" news portals are just FULL of sexually stimulating material. Facebook is quite dangerous as well - I'm having a problem with it, because it's a communication platform with some of my friends. But then, it's easy to go on a "search spree" there - the tricky part is that our addicted brains will always do its best to trick us that we're doing something innocent.

I can also see that other women you meet seem to affect you. There is a great thread in the "Porn Addiction" section called "Objectifying Women". It's long, but I advise you to find time to read it (maybe print it?) - it was very helpful for me.

Other than that - bring out what you're going through and your emotions here. You might not be able to "get rid of the addiction" by the time your studies start - thing is the addictions stays with us, well, probably forever. You might be able to learn an awful lot, though, and find support and care that is needed so much to successfully reboot!

 

[Bibbity]

You are doing awesome!  When you feel tired, why not a cold shower or something to pacify the urges?

 

[mccrayj]

@ Enzo

Just now I was driving home when I saw a woman that was physically attracted towards me.
I laid down on my bed with my iphone and was about to google something related to that girls body type then I stopped myself.
I googled something about porn addiction instead, now I'm going to get up do some yoga and leave it at that!

Great job man. Replace those thoughts and ideas with something healthy. I suggest printing an educational article off YBOP and leaving the house and reading it and take notes on important points. It really helps guys to better understand what viewing porn does to our brains. We tend to like knowing how things work, and when you realize porn is holding back your brain from working at its fullest potential it helps kill the desire for it.

Keep truckin.

thank you for posting this im gonna get to work finding which ones i need to print for myself

 

[heroack]

Just like you i had many triggers. I had bookmarks and an a pornsite account and i didnt want to delete them because they were great. But if am gonna quit for good i dont need them so i deleted all my bookmarks and the porn account that had my favorite pics and vids. I joined 4 days ago. The first day i already faped. 2nd day i was good and felt great. The 3rd day seens i had the bookmarks and porn account i relapse, and i deleted all of them even though it bothered me. Today i woke up and i feel good and am sharing to get all this dark evil outta me.

 

[Vincent]

Molto bene, Enzo!
You really seem optimistic and do everything to succeed. You are an inspiration to me. Keep up the good work!

 

[Vincent]

Ciao Enzo,
I know the feeling. I also had two weeks passing by me and it became easier and easier. Then however i relapsed, because I did not focus to much and gave way to my curiosity.
You have been strong for 14 days and now you will be strong for the next 14 at least. You have made some serious progress which you do not want to lose because of some unsatisfying experience.
If you feel tempted do something to counter it. My first advice: turn of the PC immediately and open a book or go outside. Otherwise you can distract yourself with a quick workout.

Pull through the hard times and you will see how focused you can be on a goal. You then can apply your newly gained determination to all other parts of your life.

I am very positive that you can make it! And keep writing about your experience because it also helps me on my perspective (I think it's the same for others, too).

 

[Bibbity]

Hope you are doing well Enzo!