Thanks Diesel Driver. I'll keep these in mind.
OK... So new development here. I had suspected that I could be suffering from PE based on my limited sexual experience so I have done research, read a lot of forums and judging the success stories I may have a solution for this. Most of all, no matter how much I try to improve my life, I have completely failed in it not because I could not keep up but because of lack of consistency and will power. After 27 days of no PMO I realized that I have wasted so much money on therapy and other stuff only to realize by myself that porn was the real culprit. That is such a pity. Too much blaming on porn will also be not right but yes, it cannot be denied that it did not played a significant role. So, the plan is as follows.
MARK III :
1) First of all, I am promising my self that I am going to devote more time on studying rather than wasting my time on daydreaming and on internet. I need so much to do and so much to cover, I cannot be wasting my time, I can't afford it. So, I will make a timetable and stick to it. This is the right thing, education should not and cannot be compromised.(I am also quitting humming Pink Floyd's We don't need no education
)
2) I will try to practice a nice and good healthy lifestyle. I cannot stay away from junk due to the reason that I am a very bad cook but I will try to minimize it as much as I can. Lot of fruits and vegetables will be in my diet from now on.
3) I will try to take responsibility of my own actions. It is time that I learn this thing, not blame my mistakes on others. I clear or not clear the exams are result of my own doing and actions. I have to be ready for all things that I can do and should do to make my life better. Any missed opportunity is my fault not of someone's.
4) I cannot be on drugs, painkillers or any such shit all my life. I have to accept that porn (or any other thing) has desensitized my brain. Brain is like any other body part but the thing that makes it so important is that it controls all body parts and that is why it is so important. I will take sincere efforts to keep my brain healthy and productive. It cannot be done overnight but with right and considerable efforts you can achieve whatever you want and that is what I intend to do. I have decided to practice mindfulness meditation. I will keep aside 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the night for it. It is difficult to attain instant results so I'll have to be disciplined about it. Frankly it is same as a reboot.
5) 10 weeks no MO. My chaser is gone and I can think more clearly. I'll not now jerk for 10 weeks starting from today. In these 10 weeks I will also regularly do kegal Exercises. The thing that led to my relapse was that I kept dreaming about sex (not P). I'll have to stop that because it leads to relapse. After 10 weeks, I'll see myself. If I feel right about everything, I'll MO for 1/week just to keep the fluids going but this time not only I will MO with no P but I will try not to cum in some minutes but delay ejaculation by putting controls on my thoughts. The ejaculation should be as delayed as possible and should of held back as much as you can. In few weeks due to no P, the brain will automatically rewire itself. However, I'll try to search for a partner during that time because rewiring is also important. I hope for the best.
This is the plan guys, This is the strategy, Make your life better guys. Do everything in your power to make it better, after-all it's your life and you live only once. On closing note, Do not abstain from P, truly understand that you have a problem and quit it.
Cheers!
