not sure what lies ahead

[shalomhui]

I am a 22 year old guy, I have been addicted to porn for as long as I can remember, I think i may have started at around ages 5-7. I have seen all kinds of porn, im not proud of it. I been wanting to stop for years, I tried on my 19th birthday but that didn't work, I relapsed in the most shameful of ways. i cant think of a day when I don't jerk off or watch porn or what i consider porn. It is so embarrassing. I asked myself why can't I stop and i came up with the following reasons. I love it too much, the withdrawal is going to be too much to handle and too painful and the shame of relapsing and I also feel like these years of addiction have already caused irreparable harm and there is no turning back . But i feel i need to end this addiction or else I wont be able to have a wife and kids and that I  wont be able to enjoy the full pleasures of sex which I have never had excluding jerking off. How should i proceed?

 

[Free73]

How did you get access to porn at 5 years old?.....i'm curious.

Do you 'feel' you need to end the addiction or do you want to end it so bad that you are prepared to suffer for it? Be honest with yourself, because if your motivation is not coming from the right place, then it won't happen.

Also ask yourself what it is about porn that you 'love' so much?

 

[shalomhui]

to be honest, i w so young im not sure when i started, i just know i was really young, and i guess i saw something on the web and it caught my eye.

I really just want to end the addiction but im afraid of what lies ahead. I want to be able to have a great marriage that lasts many many many years, I want a family, I know from listening and hearing to people that marraige and porn dont go together. Im actually a bit afraid the suffering that comes with ending a porn addcion.