Sex repulsed turned porn adict

[Aderes]

I'm Alex. I'm 18. I grew up hating everything that was even slightly related to sex. So imagine my surprise when I stumbled across my older brothers porn. And became addicted. It wasn't the first time I'd seen it, but it was the first time I liked it. So I pretty much hate myself. But I hate my brother more. It's been almost a full year, and I've been fighting it every step of the way. Sometimes, I'd go a month and think I was over it. Well, I'm here so obviously not. A part of me didn't want to quit. But I feel like I'm being unfaithful, and it fills me with even more guilt. So I finally put my foot down. Put up parent controls on my phone, and a site blocker on my computer. But since I know the passwords to everything, and I could easily find a loophole, I figured I needed extra accountability. However, I'm too ashamed to ask anyone I know. So yeah. It seems my trigger is night time, and whenever I'm aroused. which are hard things to avoid, so I eat a lot of junk food. Kind of helps.

 

[Recovernor]

Hi Alex. First off, welcome to the community. You may not realize it, but joining this site is a huge step on the path to recovery. I hope you find support here and a place to voice your struggles. There are tons of people who share the same problems within their addiction. Take it one day at a time, you've got this!