A
Andre1
Guest
Hi, i'm new to the forum, i'm from Brazil, 24, just wanna share some words, been struggling with this problem for a few years, and also want to let this out off my chest, i feel completely lost.
I've just recently find out Gary Wilson and his "Your Brain on Porn" Website. My entire world collapsed. I felt like i've lost more than 12 years of my life.
This thing is so much attached to my brain that just by entering this forum and seeing a topic entitled "Teen", already arouses me and bring a strong memory about porn tube sites and their genres. It's incredible how this can mess your mind so much.
It's at the same time weird and shocking to learn that you've been hooked to such a powerful drug, and that you're not so different from those addicts on the streets.
My entire life as a late teenager and a young adult was not so much as a brilliant one. Indecision, strong anxiety, moderate social phobia, constantly brain fog, depression, suicidal thoughts, you name it. I just though i was different than the other people, and that the problem was only and entirely mine, and of course, that porn had nothing to do with it, even though i masturbate almost every day.
Recently i've just hit the bottom. Started smoking, then using pot, then using a shot of amphetamine, and then went to LSD. Most of them bought through the deep web drug market. I don't know how i didn't end up using cocaine or heroin. It was just a step away.
It's so revolting to find out now what a strong mess this has caused on my life and how much i've lost, including opportunities, real mates, focus on learning, you name it. Looking back now i see great part of my chances were demolished by this addiction.
My conception of women is an absolute distortion of reality. Seeing women as an opportunistic being just because i was an addicted to porn and couldn't deal with a real person was a constant and normal judgement on my daily basis. Avoiding real persons to satisfy myself through a screen to an easy drug/orgasm was a common act in my entire life.
Already at the early years my tastes were gradually changing to more rough and disrespectful genres toward women. I started to feel a constant sensation of being guilty after watching porn. I didn't liked to be around other people. If anyone was accused of something, i've felt like i was the responsible person for that. My self-esteem was completely to none.
The striking point went when my tastes on porn started to crawl on areas that weren't ones of my true sexuality. I've started to question myself and why this was happening. I then understood that my brain was realizing that watching other people suffer wasn't enough. Deep in my mind he started to extract pleasure from fantasies where i was the one suffering. Literally. I couldn't believe myself. I was starting to have orgasms thinking subconsciously of my self-destruction. How could this be possible in a normal relationship?
I's at the same time outrageous and hopeless to think that right now, in the entire world, great part of our children is being brainwashed by an industry that exploits human beings. And that the urges on their brains just throw then into this new "virtual drug", the same drug i was lured into when i was an young teenager.
Anyway, i felt like it was good to share some words, i hope i'm not alone in this new quest in my life.
I've just recently find out Gary Wilson and his "Your Brain on Porn" Website. My entire world collapsed. I felt like i've lost more than 12 years of my life.
This thing is so much attached to my brain that just by entering this forum and seeing a topic entitled "Teen", already arouses me and bring a strong memory about porn tube sites and their genres. It's incredible how this can mess your mind so much.
It's at the same time weird and shocking to learn that you've been hooked to such a powerful drug, and that you're not so different from those addicts on the streets.
My entire life as a late teenager and a young adult was not so much as a brilliant one. Indecision, strong anxiety, moderate social phobia, constantly brain fog, depression, suicidal thoughts, you name it. I just though i was different than the other people, and that the problem was only and entirely mine, and of course, that porn had nothing to do with it, even though i masturbate almost every day.
Recently i've just hit the bottom. Started smoking, then using pot, then using a shot of amphetamine, and then went to LSD. Most of them bought through the deep web drug market. I don't know how i didn't end up using cocaine or heroin. It was just a step away.
It's so revolting to find out now what a strong mess this has caused on my life and how much i've lost, including opportunities, real mates, focus on learning, you name it. Looking back now i see great part of my chances were demolished by this addiction.
My conception of women is an absolute distortion of reality. Seeing women as an opportunistic being just because i was an addicted to porn and couldn't deal with a real person was a constant and normal judgement on my daily basis. Avoiding real persons to satisfy myself through a screen to an easy drug/orgasm was a common act in my entire life.
Already at the early years my tastes were gradually changing to more rough and disrespectful genres toward women. I started to feel a constant sensation of being guilty after watching porn. I didn't liked to be around other people. If anyone was accused of something, i've felt like i was the responsible person for that. My self-esteem was completely to none.
The striking point went when my tastes on porn started to crawl on areas that weren't ones of my true sexuality. I've started to question myself and why this was happening. I then understood that my brain was realizing that watching other people suffer wasn't enough. Deep in my mind he started to extract pleasure from fantasies where i was the one suffering. Literally. I couldn't believe myself. I was starting to have orgasms thinking subconsciously of my self-destruction. How could this be possible in a normal relationship?
I's at the same time outrageous and hopeless to think that right now, in the entire world, great part of our children is being brainwashed by an industry that exploits human beings. And that the urges on their brains just throw then into this new "virtual drug", the same drug i was lured into when i was an young teenager.
Anyway, i felt like it was good to share some words, i hope i'm not alone in this new quest in my life.