Committed to end this for lifetime (all over again ) !!

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positive_beginning

Active Member
This is my second attempt to maintain a journal out here. Last year around this time, I had committed to recovery but failed so I am starting out this time again.

I am to be 30 this november 5th. I am a freelancer online marketing professional with most hours behind the computer.
Financially--> I am looking for more contracts. Right now, I only have a single contract and much hours to kill.

I have a girlfriend who be my wife by next year.
Married life--> I  am looking to get married by next year around this time. So, I have to be my best physically and as a person.
I have PIED. I have many problems and all are related to it. I have to kill them all.

So, I start my day1.
 
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positive_beginning

Active Member
Most of the day was lost on looking upon the visions of my life, what I want to be known as when I'm dead.
I'm addicted. But  I can break the addiction only if I know what I want to do and focus on to get it executed.
Getting help has always been a problem for me but I have decided not to be in this state anymore. After all, this is
the law of nature- we are all one, and need each other's help.
 
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SimpleMan99

Member
Good for you, know that there is hope in the future. Just remember that the dopamine your brain is craving from PMO is not worth the regret and feeling of failure that will follow. It gets easier with time, so stay strong. I will pray for you.
 
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positive_beginning

Active Member
failed....today as I woke up|

only 5 minutes of stuoidity and I'm back to my guilty feeling

But I need to shed this guilt and seek forgiveness from God and move on with the same promise to myself
 
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IWantToLive

Active Member
You will win the battle. Start by making a simple positive change in your life and stick to it. For me, it was starting to exercise every other day. The point is to replace bad habits (such as PMO) with good habits so that over time, your bad habits don't have a place/time with you. Good luck!
 
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