Relapsed - 30 days,all progress gone?

[Aussie_Rebooter]

I have no idea HOW that just happened.

I just edged for 5 hours,I'm in tears - I'm so confused it just came out of nowhere.

Is all progress lost because I was only 30 days in? Or if I stop,not fap again will I  bounce back?

I'm fucking suicidal now.

 

[Pisces21]

First off - calm down, I think you're just overwhelmed with emotion at the moment.

Secondly, YOU DID NOT LOSE ALL YOUR PROGRESS. I repeat, DID NOT LOSE ALL YOUR PROGRESS!

The counter/progress tracking is PURELY PSYCHOLOGICAL. It's not about what number is in your signature, it's about what's happening in your brain. If you went 30 days, your brain wen through TREMENDOUS change! Every damn second of every hour you're not engaging your addiction, your brain is HEALING. All that can't be undone in one slip up.

What I am hoping this teaches you however is the merit of HARD MODE -i.e. NO EDGING. The lines becomes too blurred and greyed and before you know it ( as what hapepned w/ you and many others, including myslef) you relapsed. There's a quote " keep living life on the edge, and you're  bound to fall off"

Just get back to it dude, don't even skip a beat. Start your counter at 0 with satifaction knowing that you're really much farther ahead than that interms of c hanges your brain is making! You got this! The more you relapse, the stronger you become, there's no need to beat yourself up. There are no fialures, just learning experiences- and you just learned what causes you to relapse. Use it as an opportunity to take in new information!

Learn how to deal with urges and sexual energy in others ways besides edging!

 

[40YEAROLDDUDE]

There is something about 30 days, I have relapsed about 2 times after 30-35 days.

Think of this way, in the last 35 days you looked at less porn than you did in the past when you were not trying to stop.

Don't be so hard on yourself, forgive yourself just because you binged does not mean all progress is lost.

Its just time to start again, maybe try a different strategy with k9 filters this time, maybe open dns etc...

 

[HARDWIRED]

Same for me I'm afraid!!  Made it to 30+ days twice and seems I lose desire to keep going!  Or rather the desire to PMO is too great to resist!!!!  I feel your pain but if others can and have done it there's no reason we can't beat it too.  Start that counter over again!

 

[Diesel driver]

I have no idea HOW that just happened.

I just edged for 5 hours,I'm in tears - I'm so confused it just came out of nowhere.

Is all progress lost because I was only 30 days in? Or if I stop,not fap again will I  bounce back?

I'm fucking suicidal now.

A reboot doesn't need to be 100% clean. If you relapsed every 30 days I would almost say that that would be enough to do a full reboot.
However 5 hours of edging is a little catastrophy for your dopamine receptors. You can drive yourself to suicide or deep depression that way.

What you can do is to think about the urgent feelings you had before you relapsed. Prepare yourself mentally for the next wave. These sudden urges are normal. It's up to you whether you give in or not the next time it happens. From the other posts you can take that 30 days is common time for urges to appear. This is a great advantage to tell when it's going to get rough.

Cheers!

 

[Aussie_Rebooter]

Thanks guys.

All I can do is just keep on going,it really crushed me though but im trying to forgive myself.

It was really weird how it happened,I woke up at 3am and just went into auto pilot "fuck it".

Almost as if I was a different person.

I think a month of fatigue,worry that this will never end - withdrawals and just constant zombie durrr state - just really wore me out.

You guys are right though,unless I fapped for 2,3,4 days in a row I won't undo my progress completely.

I really was suicidal though,just the thought of ANOTHER damn month of this shit just until I get to the stage I was at! Then fuck knows how much longer I'll have to feel like toasted shit.

Oh well though,nothing I can do about it now.

Appreciate the support guys.

 

[Dr. Jack]

If you went to the gym for 30 days, then missed one . . . . well? . . . . get back in the gym! 

I think it's not QUITE like that but close.  Porn, I think, is more toxic than missing a day in the gym but the main thing is remember, it's not how many times you fall but how many times you get up.  The only danger is saying "well what's the use, fuck it". . . . then you're screwed. . . never say that.

 

[quitter]

If you went to the gym for 30 days, then missed one . . . . well? . . . . get back in the gym! 

I think it's not QUITE like that but close.  Porn, I think, is more toxic than missing a day in the gym but the main thing is remember, it's not how many times you fall but how many times you get up.  The only danger is saying "well what's the use, fuck it". . . . then you're screwed. . . never say that.

Good analogy. It's definitely not as simple as that, but it's a good way to look at it. After a week out of the gym it can be hard to get yourself to go back.

Hang in there Aussie. I'm right there with you, but I'm not throwing in the towel. I made it almost 30 days before relapsing. I don't know if this was your first try or not, but it took me several tries to get that far. The great thing though is that it got easier each time. I'm hoping this  time it will be even easier to make it to 30 days, and I can make it long enough to be able to resist the urge to relapse under any circumstance. For me it's always triggered by stress. Like diesel said though, there's no reason to give up. Edging once in 30 days is a lot better than doing it multiple times a week.

 

[Aussie_Rebooter]

I've been trying to quit since late 2012.

Longest run was 94 days in 2013 - since then I've struggled to go 2 weeks,so on day 31 yesterday was my second longest streak.

I barely noticed a difference after 94 days hard mode.Which is a reason why I relapsed.Months of effort with no positive benefits.

My addiction is pretty bad though,I'd edge daily - by edge I mean - edge for anywhere between 1 - 12 hours then finish with an O.Escalated to some fucked up shit.

I think I'm looking at at least 6-12 months which is why I find it so damn hard to just keep on going when day after day I just feel like fucking shit and getting out of bed is an effort.

A big trigger for me is the time factor + the doubt. "Maybe it's not porn,maybe I feel anxious fatigued and have no zest for life because I'm just fucked up,and no amount of rebooting will ever make me feel normal and happy again".

But really,at the end of the day I have to give it a good shot before I can come to that conclusion.

Thanks guys!