I discovered RN and YBOP about a week ago and upon reading and realizing that I am not defective or unique, there ARE others going through the same storm. I am soon to turn 65, been married 44 years to a wonderful woman whom by sheer stupidity and selfishness I have harmed. :'( But, hey, there's still time and with the help and support of other folks and the GRACE of HIM I will change and make our retirement the honeymoon which we never formally had! I have been messing with PMO for over 5 decades, how utterly STUPID, hindsight is 20/20 tho, yea, but I am gonna change!
This is where I need to be!
- Thread starter tj
- Start date
Mojo
Member
Hi TJ, nice to have another new voice. Hearing from other people with different life stories but similar problems helps me to understand that I do not have to go through this alone. Also reading posts from people well into recovery offers a light at the end of the tunnel. I have found lots of knowledge and support here.
Hope you can find the encouragement to help you.
Hope you can find the encouragement to help you.
Wanttobebetter
Member
Welcome tj! First off I'm 63. I don't know about you, but I'm looking to squeeze out 20 or30 more years before I get off this planet.
You know what I've discovered in the 30 days since I joined this process and this great group? My brain is coming back to life! I am more alert, enthused, attentive, excited, alive!
So hang on, you life will get better and as it does your brain will ask, where have I been?
Oh, and by the way, every other victim of porn on this site will agree, when we first started into the world of porn, we had no idea what was coming at us. Were we stupid, no. Vulnerable to a very powerful sexual stimulus, yes. Finally, had we known then what we know now, I believe the majority of us would have walked away from porn.
You've come to the right place. There are some great people with great thoughts to share which will help you immensely!
You know what I've discovered in the 30 days since I joined this process and this great group? My brain is coming back to life! I am more alert, enthused, attentive, excited, alive!
So hang on, you life will get better and as it does your brain will ask, where have I been?
Oh, and by the way, every other victim of porn on this site will agree, when we first started into the world of porn, we had no idea what was coming at us. Were we stupid, no. Vulnerable to a very powerful sexual stimulus, yes. Finally, had we known then what we know now, I believe the majority of us would have walked away from porn.
You've come to the right place. There are some great people with great thoughts to share which will help you immensely!
Thank all of you all, almost said "you guys" but the name Gracie denotes a female so I made my thanks generic. I am so relieved that I'm not defective or a bad seed, "misery loves company" they say, some truth to that but I'm sorry the company has had to endure this "misery" too! I retired 4 years ago and my wife has finally decided to join me and I so much want us to be one in our love and affection for each other again. I can't speak for her but I feel there is still a lot of heat in the oven which the years have insulated us from, know what I mean? 
The complexity of her current job has her wound pretty tight and I hope her retirement will make us like the two youngsters who fell in love 44 years ago! That's what dreams are for eh? Take care all I look forward to healing witn all of you fine people.
The complexity of her current job has her wound pretty tight and I hope her retirement will make us like the two youngsters who fell in love 44 years ago! That's what dreams are for eh? Take care all I look forward to healing witn all of you fine people.Yesterday, day 53, was my first burst of these feelings. Less brain fog, a calmness despite others negative mood. I am expectant that everyday everyone will be equal to my mood, don't happen! This morning the burst came later in the morning but it is here now but I seem to be drowning it with too much coffee. Maybe I should take on my caffeine habit while I'm at rehabilitating, mmm? I had a brief stressful moment this morning and felt like whipping it out and get a quick release but talked myself out of it, hooray! Hopefully in time my demeanor will be so noticeable that people around me will get in synch with my upbeat mood. Hey while I'm wishing why not wish that she wakes up in the same aroused state as I do daily? "Wish in one hand and cr*p in the other and see which fills up first." Oh well, that's what wishing is for! I am probably going to be notified by the moderators to curb my enthusiasm and quit flooding the forums! I can't help it, so glad to find a support group on such an issue.
Great work there Tj... it is inspiring to know that there is some light somewhere down this tunnel I have just embarked upon. You are an inspiration... keep the faith...
And I don't think you can actually post too much on here,,, maybe not enough,, but really not too much.. especially if you are helping others.
V
And I don't think you can actually post too much on here,,, maybe not enough,, but really not too much.. especially if you are helping others.
V
fcjl8
Active Member
Just catching up on your journal tj. Congrats on making the choice to deal with this addiction. It is truly never too late to do the right thing.
It is amazing, in my experience, how much re-connection is possible for a married couple when the husband quits this compulsion. I am married 31 years to a beautiful woman and we have made huge changes in our relationship all for the better since i realized this is my addiction and began dealing with it.
Way to go sir , my hat is off to you!
It is amazing, in my experience, how much re-connection is possible for a married couple when the husband quits this compulsion. I am married 31 years to a beautiful woman and we have made huge changes in our relationship all for the better since i realized this is my addiction and began dealing with it.
Way to go sir , my hat is off to you!
fcjl8, grats to your progress in your relationship. As the years tally up it gets more understandable that I need no one or anything else than a good husband and wife relationship. Sadly there's 43 years of ups and downs that are behind us but are they really? I think mother nature has aggravated the situation a lot but the past needs to be left where it belongs, in the past. We can't move forward dragging out past! Time is not as abundant as it was when we were in our 20's or 30's, we need to grasp this concept and enjoy what time there's left. ; ; living like room mates is no fun! Hopefully my reboot will display itself to her and we can have fun again. Take care and again so glad you and yours are doing so well
I just want to say tj do not leave the forum. I read in another thread that you thought about it. There is so much to be gained from each and every post. Keep posting and people will respond. If you have questions, ask. If you have doubts, come here for support. My husband and I are older too. This has been a rough time for us (2 years) but we are so much better than we ever were.
Gracie, I don't think my reply posted, MMMmmm. Oh well, thanks for the reply and I'm not going anywhere. It is so encouraging that you and your hubbie are doing better, my best virtue is not patience, :-/ but I hope someday soon I can say things are going good with us too. Take care ma'am and have a good day
It is so encouraging that you and your hubbie are doing better, my best virtue is not patience, :-/ but I hope someday soon I can say things are going good with us too. Take care ma'am and have a good day