agent orange
Member
Hi, everyone.
I am 23 years old.
I started to watch porn at 12 and masturbating at about 13 or 14....
initially it was only to blow off steem and back then jerking of was a fashion (crazy fucking friends), and then my parents got separated so i spent a lot of time alone, and to cool off another and another and another, until i got to the point of doing it 5 times a day, stoping for 2 weeks or so...feel good and then back to the cycle of destruction.
Plus we changed countries, went to a underdeveloped nation (my birth country but still, underdevelopment is underdevelopment ), and to cope with the struggle of making new friends,adopting a new culture and face a new reality,no light some times for days at a time, no channeled water(once it went for 6 whole months), the heat,no adequate transportation system, heavy and blatant corruption,complete disregard of the rule of law by officials, and so on,so i didnt even had the time to make friends anyway.
It took me a whole year.
Three years ago, i started to notice problems, when i only started to get erections only after watching porn, and i was unable of wacking off without porn.
Had some terrible experiences in bed with women , and i gave up women at all, because i could not simply get it hard.....
I became lonely, depressed, socially inadequate and awkward,i use to think of suicide every single day after waking up, i had trouble sleeping,i started to drink a lot and watching more porn( by this time, if i didnt stop for a while, sometimes, i could not even get it hard watching it),i dropped out of college, i cant find work because i am under qualified,i cant focus and tend to procrastinate,i am currently under a psychologist, i started to go out less,because to make mathers worst, women find me gorgeous and i dont go after them ,they come after me, i ve been approached by mothers and grandmothers(the hot kind, not the rugged),plus my father is socioeconomically well placed in this society, so i have a higher standard of living than more than half of this country.....
When i go out i am always quiet, but even like so, they come, and all i can do is:
Get drunk and pass out, while promising her we are going to spend the night together.
Pretend to be drunk, and pretend to pass out, while promising her we are going to spend the night together.
Take the phone number and never calling.
Not picking up my phone, and sound like a rude person when im not.
If theres no alcohol, i fake emergencies and so on...
Im afraid to lose my friends and family over this problem,it will be 3 weeks in tuesday, since i started the honorable NoFap road, i mean no PMO's , MO's , nor O's in hard mode....
But i only was aware of the NoFap road about a week ago, so im counting on estimate, but im pretty sure of my figure.
But i also aquired a marijuana habit about a year ago, it seems to give me a powerful erection, sometimes.
And even after a few days my libido levels are up, and i can actually interact with women in a more provocative way, but always avoiding sex, because untill i reach 90 days i am on hard mode NoFap.
Ive diminished drinking habits(only on weekends, and in reduced quantities).
I workout, Muay Thai, and even in the classes there is a girl that is attracted to me..
My 3 questions are :
Should I, or do I have to quit Marijuana?
It has been helping me cope with the effects of the flatline, but i might be dragging myself to another hole...
Can i continue to drink in small amounts, or should I cut it off completely?
What should I say to the Muay Thai girl that wants me,or to any other girl, should i say the truth, or shove her to the side in the name of my recovery ?
Please help....
I am 23 years old.
I started to watch porn at 12 and masturbating at about 13 or 14....
initially it was only to blow off steem and back then jerking of was a fashion (crazy fucking friends), and then my parents got separated so i spent a lot of time alone, and to cool off another and another and another, until i got to the point of doing it 5 times a day, stoping for 2 weeks or so...feel good and then back to the cycle of destruction.
Plus we changed countries, went to a underdeveloped nation (my birth country but still, underdevelopment is underdevelopment ), and to cope with the struggle of making new friends,adopting a new culture and face a new reality,no light some times for days at a time, no channeled water(once it went for 6 whole months), the heat,no adequate transportation system, heavy and blatant corruption,complete disregard of the rule of law by officials, and so on,so i didnt even had the time to make friends anyway.
It took me a whole year.
Three years ago, i started to notice problems, when i only started to get erections only after watching porn, and i was unable of wacking off without porn.
Had some terrible experiences in bed with women , and i gave up women at all, because i could not simply get it hard.....
I became lonely, depressed, socially inadequate and awkward,i use to think of suicide every single day after waking up, i had trouble sleeping,i started to drink a lot and watching more porn( by this time, if i didnt stop for a while, sometimes, i could not even get it hard watching it),i dropped out of college, i cant find work because i am under qualified,i cant focus and tend to procrastinate,i am currently under a psychologist, i started to go out less,because to make mathers worst, women find me gorgeous and i dont go after them ,they come after me, i ve been approached by mothers and grandmothers(the hot kind, not the rugged),plus my father is socioeconomically well placed in this society, so i have a higher standard of living than more than half of this country.....
When i go out i am always quiet, but even like so, they come, and all i can do is:
Get drunk and pass out, while promising her we are going to spend the night together.
Pretend to be drunk, and pretend to pass out, while promising her we are going to spend the night together.
Take the phone number and never calling.
Not picking up my phone, and sound like a rude person when im not.
If theres no alcohol, i fake emergencies and so on...
Im afraid to lose my friends and family over this problem,it will be 3 weeks in tuesday, since i started the honorable NoFap road, i mean no PMO's , MO's , nor O's in hard mode....
But i only was aware of the NoFap road about a week ago, so im counting on estimate, but im pretty sure of my figure.
But i also aquired a marijuana habit about a year ago, it seems to give me a powerful erection, sometimes.
And even after a few days my libido levels are up, and i can actually interact with women in a more provocative way, but always avoiding sex, because untill i reach 90 days i am on hard mode NoFap.
Ive diminished drinking habits(only on weekends, and in reduced quantities).
I workout, Muay Thai, and even in the classes there is a girl that is attracted to me..
My 3 questions are :
Should I, or do I have to quit Marijuana?
It has been helping me cope with the effects of the flatline, but i might be dragging myself to another hole...
Can i continue to drink in small amounts, or should I cut it off completely?
What should I say to the Muay Thai girl that wants me,or to any other girl, should i say the truth, or shove her to the side in the name of my recovery ?
Please help....