does anyone have any tools to stop watching p###?

[martin]

after I think a hundred failed attempts, I am trying to stop watching porn and masturbation again, but now with the help of the your brain on porn website and this forum.

Because I don't have a very active life at the moment I have a lot of free time where my mind wanders and I start thinking about watching porn and I eventually give in.

Does anyone have any advice for not giving in to this craving?

 

[Bruin1992]

I have a goal for my mind and body. And as I'm tempted, I remember after the last time I pmo'd that frustration. Knowing that I would have to start over. That's enough for me. Good luck

 

[simplycomplex]

I can empathize, Martin. I've had to reset a few times since I've really tried to kick the PMO habit.

I am becoming more and more convinced that this is a much stronger addiction than I realized. I, like you, have the hardest time when I find myself with free time and nothing to do. This happens fairly frequently since I live alone. However, I have started seeing someone, so I am trying to use that as my motivation and rewiring with her.

If you find your mind wandering and being tempted to watch porn, I would recommend immediately doing some physical activity. Go out for a walk. Go to the gym. Or, you could even go for a drive - anything to get your mind off the porn.

This is a difficult thing as I am continuing to learn, but if we support each other, I think we can kick this habit. Best of luck to you!

 

[martin]

thank you bruin1992 and simplycomplex, I appreciate the good advice. It's good to know I am not alone in this. I have been embarrassed about this problem and felt alone because of it so I am happy that there are people like you I can share with and learn from.

 

[jnv]

Hey there.

If you find it too difficult to resist the urge of watching porn, try the free mozilla module called "webfilter". It's a cloud-based filter which already has a huge list of banned porn webside in the database and to enable this, you just need to tick "ban porn".
Then, next time you can't fight the urge and try to access a porn website, you'll have the "access denied" message.

You can do it man!

 

[martin]

hey jnv, good advice and thanks for the support.

As you can see I am at least through my first day. So I am happy about that.

For now I am trying to stay busy, trying to get through another day.

 

[martin]

unfortunately I slipped up. This is so difficult :'(

 

[miomio]

unfortunately I slipped up. This is so difficult :'(

Congrats, this is just another tough way of realization. Change is going to come, but you have to take it slow.
Most importantly, set yourself a goal! You're fighting, so tell yourself to go PMO-free for seven days.

Because I don't have a very active life at the moment I have a lot of free time where my mind wanders and I start thinking about watching porn and I eventually give in.

In the beginning, one worries way too much about everything! So, what helps to keep away from porn?
Easy, take any of the following:
- Cold shower(s): In fact, start doing them on a daily basis (Day 30something here)
- Take a walk and control yourself: Stare at cars, trees, clouds, windows, not boobs
- Start any energy excercise, contemplate meditation - anything that centers body&soul
- Work out, run, do push-ups! Create games and routines. Every time you think about porn, do 10 push-ups
.... or if you're not into sports, start solving math problems - ever heard of math magicians?
Do sports anyway.
- Get back to an old hobby (NOT PMO!)
- Find someone to share your secret with (tough cookie, but very helpful)
- Get a job, help the elderly, support a homeless shelter . . . . .
- Delete your hard drive and any source of porn that doesn't require the internet

 

[martin]

thanks miomio,

I have a list of activities to do now everytime I feel the urge,
I just hope that I will be strong enough to make the decision to chose an activity over the urge.

 

[Ap26]

Mate really relate to the frustration - has been driving me mad. Thats the strength of addiction though that no matter how much I know Im gonna feel bad afterwards, after a certain point I end up PMOing again. I take router out of my house for now. I said for a week but maybe longer if needs be. I have also got a content block on my phone that takes 24hrs to remove and I also went to a website called x3watch and downloaded the free version which will not block content but will send a list of any porn sites u have visited to your chosen accountability partner - the fear of someone else reading your history is quite powerful in helping resist. Other than that - what everyone said, exercise and meditation are good. Anyway good luck.

 

[jnv]

Stay strong man. What about the application I talked about. It's a really powerful tool really.
Yesterday, for the first time I almost gave in but the mozilla tool helped me with it.
I came upon a random image which triggered an urge, I wanted to see more, I entered some keyword on google, got the "access denied" message (YESSSSS) + received an email on my smartphone telling me I was checking Porn on google (one of the options of the application).

I don't know, maybe I'd just have watched it for like 2min and then closed eveything even with the app but it really gave me the signal to stop what I was going to do and think about it. Instead, I went for a 60min weight lifting session and came back exhausted!

Stay focused, we can do it!

 

[martin]

I thought about the application, but I am afraid that I am gonna try and test it.

anyway, it's really frustrating. I have been trying for more than a year to quit, I remember a year ago I got to 23 days, now I can barely get to 3 days.

 

[martin]

update

All goes well, I am over 10 days now. yesterday I had a lot of craving for pmo but I was able to resist it. One thing that's really
helping me at the moment is that I am moving to a new place, so I have a lot of other things to think about.

 

[fnatk]

Hey martin, glad to hear you're doing well on day 10 and hopefully onwards I've taken jnv's tip about the webfilter and installed it just now. Keeping busy is very useful so after the move is completed, try what others have suggested, get into some fitness action be it cardio or lifting weights. I've gotten back into both and even bought a new bike to go out on for exercise (Legs end up like jelly after just a fast 5k ride!).

And of course, participating in the forum and keeping your journal up to date every now and then is helpful too!

 

[Dondillon]

Congratulations for the 10 days. I remember that they are the hardest, and then past 2 weeks everything gets easier. But as far as I'm concerned, a few things really help:

- Meditation: early in the morning, sit and focus on breathing, even if it's only for 1 minute. Every extra minute is bonus. Do it daily, it sets you day on a calm and conscious mindset. Repeat throughout the day when you feel urges.

- Cold Showers: urges killer and has dozen of benefits. Most important is that it trains you to accept discomfort (which helps for fighting the addiction). And personally, the skin on my back got way better since it became a daily habit.

- Working Out: again, start with a goal so small that you can't fail. Let's say 10 sit-ups and 10 pushups. Every extra rep or set is bonus. Again, do it daily so the habit sticks and increase with time.

- Rewards: a technique I used when I quit smoking. Every time you resist an urge, save 1$, 1? Or whatever currency you have. Or 5 if you can. When you reach a month for example, get that money and buy yourself something cool.

- Yoga: you can find classes everywhere now. It will make tou feel good, relaxed and this is probably the best place to meet really cool girls.

Stay strong

 

[Vincent]

Hey Martin,

I use the following:

Firefox addon "MetaCert" (its a filter for inappropriate online material for children - you can also submit pornsites yourself in case you find one to access.

Google save search to prevent me from searching vor pics and oter stuff

I also use a paper list on which I tick every day. This list is hanging in front of my homeoffice so I keep remembering my goals.

And of course everything the guys said before me. Workout is the best solution I think. Then comes shifting to another "hobby" (I think for many people porn became a hobby). I did the same with alcohol and now I never drank more than 4 beers even on a saturday night out - shifted to water and alc free beer (i like the taste of beer however)

but in the end you have to find your own way! keep us posted and carry on!!

 

[martin]

Damn, I fd up and pmod. I really felt that this was going to be the attempt that was going to succeed.

Nothing left for me but start over and try again and not binge.

Thanks for the great advice though guys, I really appreciate it.

 

[fnatk]

We've all been there dude, knowing that its not acceptable to do it ever again... yet still relapsing. Its hard as hell to tell yourself that this was the last time because your addicted brain just goes "Nahh, we can watch it again, cmon' it'll be fun!". But its not fun, you feel like shit, you reset your counter and you think oh man its gonna take forever to get back to where I was...

Is it a step back? Yes. Did you fuck up? Yes. Can you still beat this addiction and stay porn free for the rest of your life? HELL YES!

You haven't binged yet at least so that's good, but what triggered it? Make this a learning experience so you can avoid making the same mistakes again! The next time an urge comes along, take that ice cold shower! Fuck it, take one NOW!

Come next Monday when you'll have been a week clean you will look back on this and think about what you learned from it, and itt won't be something negative anymore

 

[Vincent]

exactly! isolate the trigger and search for the reason. Relapsing is not a problem if it is part of the healing process. Use this miserable feeling to change all for the better. Install porn blocker software and get rid of the password!!!!!

you only can do it if you really WANT to!!

And we will help as much as we can. Everybody here has been there. Do NOT give up, understood!?!?!

 

[martin]

So I haven't posted in a while. I kept relapsing the last couple of weeks.
I feel this is an addiction I can't overcome, I am just not strong enough.

It might be a good idea to share this problem with someone close to me, but I feel too embarrassed.

even this forum isn't really helping me, I keep browsing the different sections for advice or tools but I can't really find anything except for
pornblocker and certain triggers. Anyway I feel too depressed and lonely to keep trying.