HandsomeAwkward
Member
Quick TL;DR
>Used lots of porn from the time I was a kiddie
>Fast forward to when I was 17, failed at having sex with GF twice
>Fast forward to 18, failed at having sex with another GF
>Decided to reboot
>Fast forward to 18, manage to get like 20 days clean under my belt
>Girl wants sex
>Reluctantly agree to try
>Barely hard at all, but she's on birth control so I lube it up and attempt to go in raw
>Get it in, still only about 30% hard
>Pump a couple times
>Erection instantly goes to 70% and then 80% and then 90%
And that's pretty much when I was cured. Now, for the long story
I'm the product of the internet generation, so my problem with porn started very young, and very severe. By the time I was 14, I already was desensitized to softcore porn. By 15, I was masturbating four times a day every single day to tabs upon tabs with high speed internet of the most shocking porn I could find, which I'm sure as you all know will desensitize the shit out of you to regular sex. At 17 I had my first girlfriend and we had some good times, sexually, but never actually had sex.
We tried once which didn't work, but I figured that was because we were being dumb and tried to use saran wrap as a condom (which is a horrible idea and it's probably for the best that I couldn't get it in). Her and I didn't work out and after a period of talking to a couple of girls, I finally got another girlfriend which was about four months after the first, and I was 18 at this point. Keep in mind that I also still had a horrible porn problem at this point. Eventually the time came that this new girl wanted to have sex and man oh man I must be an expert at sex because I watch so much porn, right? No. But that's what I thought, at least. So I bought condoms and invited her over to my house.
This is where the problem of me not being able to have sex officially began, I think. Without knowing it, I had bought condoms that were waaaaaay too small for me. That, combined with the fact that the only thing that could excite me anymore were horrible fucked up hardcore porn scenes, made this experience extremely bad for me. By the time I was actually able to get a 60% erection and try to put on the condom, the damn thing just wouldn't go on. I was putting it on right, but it was so ridiculously small that it was just terrible. I managed to force it on, by which time my erection was almost completely gone, and even while I was limp the condom felt like it was strangling my penis (fuck you, regular sized and thick as fuck trojans). Even so, I tried to get hard again by jerking it which was absolutely humiliating. Keep in mind that this all happened in front of a beautiful dime of a girl who was naked on my bed and had her legs stretched out, waiting for sex. Suffice to say, that set the mood for sex for me from that point until later when I was "cured".
After that I did some research and found out about PIED and this forum. Some time later that girl and I split up and I went through three or four other girls, none of which I had sex with because I was afraid it wouldn't work and I'd be humiliated again. I was in a cycle of trying to reboot and then relapsing. Some times the relapses were short, other times I would binge for months and then come back. The closest I got to recovery (until I actually recovered) was when, with this girl in college about 3 months ago, I successfully busted a nut from a blowjob and only a blowjob. Took 15 minutes and some intense concentration, and also i was like 10 or 15 days clean with no PMO at that point, but it worked. Felt good as fuck too.
Things ended with her, and I went back to relapsing. Until, this is kinda the funny part, I was back in my home town from college on a holiday and my first ever girlfriend hit me up to hang out. That happened, and one thing led to another, and the next day she asked me to come to her house for sex. At that point I only had maybe 3 days clean under my belt, but I decided I'd go and give it a try anyway. She was on birth control, so we figured we'd try it raw (no condom). At first, it didn't work and I thought nothing had changed. We couldn't get it in and because of that I went soft. And then she theorized that maybe it's because her bed is too small so it's uncomfortable so we should go fuck on her mom's bed instead. I agreed because I thought that would be funny. We went in there, and she produces a bottle of baby oil and slathers herself up with the stuff and says to try now. I had maybe like a 20% erection, but I tried anyway, and lo and behold I was able to stuff it in with the added lubricant, and after a couple of pumps in and out, I was operating almost at full capacity. Having sex. Lost my virginity.
And from then on we slowly eased into using condoms and practicing safer sex until today when I have almost completely normal sexual function. There's a couple of things I learned from this which I'd like to share with you guys.
1) The problem can be a mix of PIED and performance anxiety.
- My personal problem was a mix of both. It was PIED from desensitizing myself to regular physical intimacy, and severe performance anxiety from having a very very bad first experience with really attempting to have sex. To make sure your problem isn't just regular old performance anxiety, I would recommend you try to get 10-30 days clean under your belt, no PMO no O no MO, and then attempt sex with your SO. If you can, have her go on birth control so you don't have to use a condom, and use lube. Lots of lube. (but put it on her hole, not on your member. I mean maybe that would work for you but putting it on my member turns me off)
2) Fuck those small-ass barely-lubricated thick-as-leather trojan condoms.These ones http://www.trojancondoms.com/Product/trojan-enz-lubricated-condoms.aspx Fuck those don't ever use them
3) If you're a big guy, get yourself some big condoms.
- Less-gifted people will tell you that all condoms are the same and point out that you can stretch regular sized condoms over your whole arm, apparently ignorant of the fact that your penis is a lot different than your arm, but take it from me it makes a huge difference in terms of ease of use.
4) The reboot DOES help
- Don't let yourself think that the reboot isn't helping or that it's making the problem worse. I thought that many times before and it led to countless relapses.
If I think of more tips I'll put them here. If you'd like to read my journal to success, here's a link http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=6925.0
EDIT: Corrected grammar and removed possible triggering material
>Used lots of porn from the time I was a kiddie
>Fast forward to when I was 17, failed at having sex with GF twice
>Fast forward to 18, failed at having sex with another GF
>Decided to reboot
>Fast forward to 18, manage to get like 20 days clean under my belt
>Girl wants sex
>Reluctantly agree to try
>Barely hard at all, but she's on birth control so I lube it up and attempt to go in raw
>Get it in, still only about 30% hard
>Pump a couple times
>Erection instantly goes to 70% and then 80% and then 90%
And that's pretty much when I was cured. Now, for the long story
I'm the product of the internet generation, so my problem with porn started very young, and very severe. By the time I was 14, I already was desensitized to softcore porn. By 15, I was masturbating four times a day every single day to tabs upon tabs with high speed internet of the most shocking porn I could find, which I'm sure as you all know will desensitize the shit out of you to regular sex. At 17 I had my first girlfriend and we had some good times, sexually, but never actually had sex.
We tried once which didn't work, but I figured that was because we were being dumb and tried to use saran wrap as a condom (which is a horrible idea and it's probably for the best that I couldn't get it in). Her and I didn't work out and after a period of talking to a couple of girls, I finally got another girlfriend which was about four months after the first, and I was 18 at this point. Keep in mind that I also still had a horrible porn problem at this point. Eventually the time came that this new girl wanted to have sex and man oh man I must be an expert at sex because I watch so much porn, right? No. But that's what I thought, at least. So I bought condoms and invited her over to my house.
This is where the problem of me not being able to have sex officially began, I think. Without knowing it, I had bought condoms that were waaaaaay too small for me. That, combined with the fact that the only thing that could excite me anymore were horrible fucked up hardcore porn scenes, made this experience extremely bad for me. By the time I was actually able to get a 60% erection and try to put on the condom, the damn thing just wouldn't go on. I was putting it on right, but it was so ridiculously small that it was just terrible. I managed to force it on, by which time my erection was almost completely gone, and even while I was limp the condom felt like it was strangling my penis (fuck you, regular sized and thick as fuck trojans). Even so, I tried to get hard again by jerking it which was absolutely humiliating. Keep in mind that this all happened in front of a beautiful dime of a girl who was naked on my bed and had her legs stretched out, waiting for sex. Suffice to say, that set the mood for sex for me from that point until later when I was "cured".
After that I did some research and found out about PIED and this forum. Some time later that girl and I split up and I went through three or four other girls, none of which I had sex with because I was afraid it wouldn't work and I'd be humiliated again. I was in a cycle of trying to reboot and then relapsing. Some times the relapses were short, other times I would binge for months and then come back. The closest I got to recovery (until I actually recovered) was when, with this girl in college about 3 months ago, I successfully busted a nut from a blowjob and only a blowjob. Took 15 minutes and some intense concentration, and also i was like 10 or 15 days clean with no PMO at that point, but it worked. Felt good as fuck too.
Things ended with her, and I went back to relapsing. Until, this is kinda the funny part, I was back in my home town from college on a holiday and my first ever girlfriend hit me up to hang out. That happened, and one thing led to another, and the next day she asked me to come to her house for sex. At that point I only had maybe 3 days clean under my belt, but I decided I'd go and give it a try anyway. She was on birth control, so we figured we'd try it raw (no condom). At first, it didn't work and I thought nothing had changed. We couldn't get it in and because of that I went soft. And then she theorized that maybe it's because her bed is too small so it's uncomfortable so we should go fuck on her mom's bed instead. I agreed because I thought that would be funny. We went in there, and she produces a bottle of baby oil and slathers herself up with the stuff and says to try now. I had maybe like a 20% erection, but I tried anyway, and lo and behold I was able to stuff it in with the added lubricant, and after a couple of pumps in and out, I was operating almost at full capacity. Having sex. Lost my virginity.
And from then on we slowly eased into using condoms and practicing safer sex until today when I have almost completely normal sexual function. There's a couple of things I learned from this which I'd like to share with you guys.
1) The problem can be a mix of PIED and performance anxiety.
- My personal problem was a mix of both. It was PIED from desensitizing myself to regular physical intimacy, and severe performance anxiety from having a very very bad first experience with really attempting to have sex. To make sure your problem isn't just regular old performance anxiety, I would recommend you try to get 10-30 days clean under your belt, no PMO no O no MO, and then attempt sex with your SO. If you can, have her go on birth control so you don't have to use a condom, and use lube. Lots of lube. (but put it on her hole, not on your member. I mean maybe that would work for you but putting it on my member turns me off)
2) Fuck those small-ass barely-lubricated thick-as-leather trojan condoms.These ones http://www.trojancondoms.com/Product/trojan-enz-lubricated-condoms.aspx Fuck those don't ever use them
3) If you're a big guy, get yourself some big condoms.
- Less-gifted people will tell you that all condoms are the same and point out that you can stretch regular sized condoms over your whole arm, apparently ignorant of the fact that your penis is a lot different than your arm, but take it from me it makes a huge difference in terms of ease of use.
4) The reboot DOES help
- Don't let yourself think that the reboot isn't helping or that it's making the problem worse. I thought that many times before and it led to countless relapses.
If I think of more tips I'll put them here. If you'd like to read my journal to success, here's a link http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=6925.0
EDIT: Corrected grammar and removed possible triggering material
