N
Numez
Guest
i think im going to relapse. my biggest trigger is hate. i am just full of it, only of it. i never felt so much hate, annoyance and disapproving since my last try to reboot, thats how i managed to go this far. i realized it is the biggest trigger for me and i do not know how to get rid of it. i tried for couple of years, almost a decade without lasting success. when i figured out im a porn addict, i had high hopes that porn may be causing all of this. i dont think so, im clean for 2 months+ and i have been clean for 10+ months before that and i dont see ANY reduce in this department. i will rather start using drugs and die than start taking pills for my condition, so no way out of it that way. i really cant figure it out, it seem impossible. i have been given the wrong head.
i would prefer to drop dead instead of having to go through an evening like this ever again. any advice annoys the heck out of me, i dont know why i even tried to google it. i dont care a bit about not being able to have sex ever again. i dont care about any negative consequences of PMO. its definitely relapse time for me.
i can see how silly any advice on how to stay strong is. i thought im helping someone but in this situation nothing is helpful and its really just annoyance.
i wonder how i did 10 months first time. i had occasional sex and i started MO after 8 months so i kept my pipes empty i guess, it helped. first time i went without sex for few weeks i started to MO, lost erection again afterwards so girl didnt wanted to hang out anymore so i eventually relapsed. this hard mode combined with the despicable feeling that i have is no way to go. O is simply the way for me not to kill myself.
i would prefer to drop dead instead of having to go through an evening like this ever again. any advice annoys the heck out of me, i dont know why i even tried to google it. i dont care a bit about not being able to have sex ever again. i dont care about any negative consequences of PMO. its definitely relapse time for me.
i can see how silly any advice on how to stay strong is. i thought im helping someone but in this situation nothing is helpful and its really just annoyance.
i wonder how i did 10 months first time. i had occasional sex and i started MO after 8 months so i kept my pipes empty i guess, it helped. first time i went without sex for few weeks i started to MO, lost erection again afterwards so girl didnt wanted to hang out anymore so i eventually relapsed. this hard mode combined with the despicable feeling that i have is no way to go. O is simply the way for me not to kill myself.