Hey Un1111, glad to see you've noticed your addiction and are moving forward with your recovery!
Your awkwardness with the opposite sex could be a result of your addiction to porn and little to no interaction with a real woman, sexual or otherwise. Porn makes women into
sex objects, nothing more, and with your brain only relating to women in that way that could be how you have come to see or regard them. And because you are still a virgin
and not familiar with sex, you are not familiar with women.
If this is the case, my advice would be to quit porn altogether, possibly even start yourself on a reboot and quit masturbating to orgasm as well. One option could be to avoid pursuing
anything of an intimate relationship with a woman while you are in your recovery. You could however, start up friendships with women to get yourself better acquainted with them so you
know how to act/talk/think around them. This would serve in readjusting your brain to think of women as actual people and not objects.
Also, and I CANNOT stress this enough, DO NOT feel ashamed or anything negative of your age and virginity. I was 21 when I lost mine and felt the same way you did, that I would end up
like Steve Carell in 40 Year Old Virgin. Everyone experiences everything differently, you no more or less than anyone else. Do not compare yourself to the lives or experiences of others, by
doing so you will never feel happy or fulfilled with your life, no matter where it leads or turns out.
Why are you scared to talk or enter into a relationship with women, do you think? Nervous about them knowing you're a virgin? If they find that information out and regard it in a negative way,
then clearly you would not want to end up with a woman like that who cares about you so little, and should feel glad that you avoided such a person in your life. Try to look at every experience
that ever happens in a good and positive light, that everything you experience is the best possible thing that could happen to you. Sound crazy? Sure does, but why not think like that?