Hi all. I am back here after going so well for about 5 months porn free, around 2 years ago. I slipped, fell into a heap and stayed there. I am so disappointed. I find that my life has been taken over by porn, to such an extent that my activities to try and recreate what I see have become so risky and dangerous. I need help, want to change and get my life back. I stumbled upon this bookmark today, a sign maybe. Journey starts today. Support welcome and needed. Updates to come daily. Day one........here we go
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- Thread starter little179
- Start date
savingmysoul
Active Member
need day one before you can have day two.
pick yourself up, dust yourself off - one day at a time.
Find some hobbies that clear this crap out of your life, have a plan on how to protect yourself should you be presented with a trigger. Its not if there is a trigger it is when. You need to be prepared. Learn from each experience, build and move forward.
You had a great streak once, you can do it again. You did come back.
Great first step. You have the strength inside you, you only need to find it.
Join me in this journey, walk with me. walk with all of us and find peace.
pick yourself up, dust yourself off - one day at a time.
Find some hobbies that clear this crap out of your life, have a plan on how to protect yourself should you be presented with a trigger. Its not if there is a trigger it is when. You need to be prepared. Learn from each experience, build and move forward.
You had a great streak once, you can do it again. You did come back.
Great first step. You have the strength inside you, you only need to find it.
Join me in this journey, walk with me. walk with all of us and find peace.
Day 15
still here. no porn or pulling thus far. temptation is there but not strong at the moment. been feeling very tired mentally and physically of late, unsure if that is shift work or just withdrawals from porn. to be honest, not missing it at all. there are times when i am tempted to have a peek but have resisted by getting busy doing something else. i have done this before, made it to almost 6 months then fell, cant do that again. i cannot fail. if i do, i die a little more every day.
please keep messages of good will coming. i need support!
still here. no porn or pulling thus far. temptation is there but not strong at the moment. been feeling very tired mentally and physically of late, unsure if that is shift work or just withdrawals from porn. to be honest, not missing it at all. there are times when i am tempted to have a peek but have resisted by getting busy doing something else. i have done this before, made it to almost 6 months then fell, cant do that again. i cannot fail. if i do, i die a little more every day.
please keep messages of good will coming. i need support!
Brooklyn Jerry
Active Member
It is something worth doing. I am on day 41 myself. I did go 7 months free last year. I never went back to they way I used to be, but did watch porn and PMO during my slip up. I have found once you allow yourself to indulge it does affect PIED symptomsto come back quick, at least it did for me.
Dharmabum
Active Member
This addiction is different than many others. We don't have to go to a bar or liquor store or a connection for a fix. We can go online or even just create/recreate it in our own brains. It's insidious that way. I've slipped many times since I had a solid streak of a few months this time last year. Maybe I've set too harsh bottom lines, but I prefer to think I just spent 25+ years creating patterns of behavior (acting out, fantasizing, avoiding my feelings, etc) and it's going to take some time and hard work to recreate those patterns. If I can string together a few days, weeks, or (it's been a while, but) months of sobriety, that's improvement. Not that I'm advocating giving oneself permission to slip. I'm just saying we are often so hard on ourselves, and that just perpetuates things like guilt and shame, which for many of us sends us spiraling further into our addictions. So, be gentle with yourself. If you do slip, acknowledge it and recommit. Even if you find you're recommitting for the 200th time this year, that's better than giving in to it. we've seen what life looks like addicted to PMO (or variations thereof) and many of us have tasted life free from that burden, if only for a few days or weeks. I think we'd all agree a life of freedom is preferable. Facing our fears, standing strong, being courageous, being heroes. We don't get to be called heroes very often when fighting this disease because it's not like being a recovering addict from substances, etc - but we who share these chatrooms know that we are heroes when we live honorably and choose not to objectify through porn, not to do harm to ourselves or others through our sexual behavior, when we choose to live in a way that allows us too feel pure and free.
keep up the hard work. be a hero, because you are one each day you find the strength to win.
keep up the hard work. be a hero, because you are one each day you find the strength to win.
Dharmabum said:
I think it is also somewhat dependent on how you get your "fix", and what your triggers are. For the last few years, my "fix" has been completely internet video driven (I successfully ditched books and tapes years ago, and was never "into" strip clubs, physical adultery, etc.). And that is, for me, one of the reasons this site is so important.....when the urge strikes to "get on the computer and look at porn", I can instead "get on the computer and spend time at ReBoot strengthening my resistance". I have been on other antiPMO sites, but none as broadly based or as dynamic as this one, and I think that will make all the difference for me.
But................time will tell