A new me

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wisecarevice

Member
So I am on 6 or 7 weeks now. I woke up today with maybe 5 hours of sleep. My wife is out of town and the cat drove me nuts. So in other words my sleep was awful. I feel pretty dang good. Normally I would be trying to sleep all day. I just wouldn't have the energy. The only thing different in my lifestyle is rebooting. This is a real eye opener. I wonder if its the extra testosterone. I am still flatlining which at this point may just take several months to clear up. I am also more happy. Sure I have my downs but now it rolls off my back. Anyway thats my update for now. Good Luck and Good Job everyone.
 
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wisecarevice

Member
So here is an update. I haven't watched porn since the beginning of January. I can sleep less and still function. I am now sleeping 5 to 6 hours a night. I also spend more time reading and socializing. I will put a reading list below. I am finding it easier to smile at people and say hello. I wonder if I was ashamed of myself before. I have been addicted  to porn for years and now I have no interest in it. That feels wonderful. The problem is masturbating. I wake up with my dick in my hands. I can't seem to break the habit. I just want that release. I keep fighting the urge but I think I need a little more willpower. Anyway I am exercising more and eating less. I have started doing kegal exercises as I have no sexual stamina. I have gotten more involved with my church which my wife loves. I also started cooking and taking dance lessons.

Booklist so far this week

1. The way of the supreme man by david deida
2. The art of seduction by robert greene
3. mastery by george leonard
 
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need2breakfree

Member
Be careful cutting out sleep, it's crucial to your brain healing.  I've found I'm more likely to be tempted to relapse when I'm tired.  Hope this helps.
 
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wisecarevice

Member
I do try but for some reason I wake up early even after a late night. I just can't seem to fall back to sleep. Thank you for the reply. Have a wonderful week.
 
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wisecarevice

Member
So I am at 10 weeks now. I can honestly say I feel much better. I still have urges and I can't seem to get fully erect but I am better than where I was. I want to thank the community for helping everyone. I urge everyone to post and reply, ask questions and even advice. We may be different but I think we all can relate. Have a rockin' week guys.
 
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wisecarevice

Member
Off both. I am married and can't get erect enough for sex. I am using it as a gauge to help me see how far I am progressing. I had to change the rules a little for my situation. I only use my wife as a source of sexual stimulation. Meaning I don't use porn at all for arousal just my wife and only if we have a romantic evening or she needs a release. I feel having to work for an erection is better for my brain.
 
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wisecarevice

Member
Well it's been rough. needless to say I relapsed. bad. I won't go into details but sometimes friends really don't understand this problem. Does anyone have any advice. I explained that I really don't need or want porn sent to me. Mostly I am disappointed with myself. I should have been strong enough to just delete and forget. But I didn't. shame and embarrassed but the plus side I didn't think I could go 3 months cold turkey like this. So time to get back on the train and move forward.
 
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simpleguy19

Member
Unfortunately I understand completely the challenge of having folks continue evolvement in P just because they don't see an issue with it or even see it as possible for an addition.

I had to completely block and avoid folks from my old military units because the messages they send out were consistantly pornographic. Try to find the support you need from your wife. It is always difficult if she doesn't understand where you are in your recovery. I try to show my wife as much love as I can.
 
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