R
rival21
Guest
Hi everyone! Here's my story.
I first started MO when I was 12 years old. Back then, just the very thought of being intimate with a girl I liked at school or a hot girl I saw on the street was enough to satisfy me to orgasm. By the time I was in High School, I had discovered my older brother's hidden stash of DVD's which I occasionally watched and masturbated to. By the time I went away to college, I had already accumulated my own DVD collection.
However, it was during my college years when I really got into internet porn, the campus had high speed WiFi and I was completely overtaken by desire to PMO. I found myself doing this 3-5 times a day. Every moment I was alone, I watched porn! Sometimes I would even try to squeeze time in for "quickies"between classes. Shortly after starting college, I met a girl and we began dating. I will never forget the first time we tried to have sex, I couldn't get hard at all. I was semi-hard during the foreplay and making out, maybe a 7/10 erection, but when it was time to penetrate her, nothing happened at all. The semi-erection had completely gone.
Somehow I convinced her it was neither our faults and that it was probably the condom. But after that night I knew I had a problem which had to be fixed immediately. I assumed my poor performance was caused by fear or anxiety (as this was my first true sexual experience.) I quickly bought some herbal supplements hoping they would solve the problem but they didn't. My new girlfriend was really starting to get impatient so I finally mustered the strength to see a doctor. I explained to him my situation and was prescribed some ED pills. They WORKED! I was able to have sex (for the first time.) I used these pills for months all without my gf's knowledge because I was waaayyyy to embarrassed to tell her or anyone else. However, these months were NOT good times. During this time, I still could not reach an orgasm during the actual sex. I would often fake (yes fake) my own orgasms to make my gf happy. Afterwards, I would always have to steal away to "finish"with mobile porn. Also, the sex we had was fake. Yes the pills occasionally worked, but I wasn't enjoying the sex at all. I would fantasize about porn just to keep it up. I was also engaging in heavy PMO throughout the entire relationship. After a short time, the pills had no effect on me at all.
Since porn was the only way I could have an orgasm, I actually preferred it over my gf. Our relationship eventually ended, which was really tough for me, but I still had porn. I would spend hours and hours clicking and surfing the web trying to find something that worked. Videos that had been saved to my computer just weeks or even days before, just couldn't get me off anymore. I also noticed that I masturbated sooo much that I didn't have to be fully hard anymore to ejaculate. I would O with 4/10- 6/10 erections, and the moment I turned away from the screen, my erections would disappear. I found myself PMOing before bed, when I was bored, and whenever I was alone. I knew I had a problem, but I had convinced myself that I could stop at any time and that one more day, week, or month of PMO would not hurt. I had tried to stop, but porn had become a part of my life that I was just not willing to let go.
The last straw for me came fairly recently when I could not perform with a girl I had been sexually attracted to for years. I made up my mind then. that I could not go on with this addiction any longer. I ran to Google and found YBOP and this forum. I have been PMO free for a full 7 days. Since starting my reboot, I have deleted all of my video stashes on my laptop and phone for good! Even though I am only a week into the reboot, I have noticed complete loss of sex drive, libido, and blood activity downstairs. However, I am convinced that there's light at the end of this journey!
I first started MO when I was 12 years old. Back then, just the very thought of being intimate with a girl I liked at school or a hot girl I saw on the street was enough to satisfy me to orgasm. By the time I was in High School, I had discovered my older brother's hidden stash of DVD's which I occasionally watched and masturbated to. By the time I went away to college, I had already accumulated my own DVD collection.
However, it was during my college years when I really got into internet porn, the campus had high speed WiFi and I was completely overtaken by desire to PMO. I found myself doing this 3-5 times a day. Every moment I was alone, I watched porn! Sometimes I would even try to squeeze time in for "quickies"between classes. Shortly after starting college, I met a girl and we began dating. I will never forget the first time we tried to have sex, I couldn't get hard at all. I was semi-hard during the foreplay and making out, maybe a 7/10 erection, but when it was time to penetrate her, nothing happened at all. The semi-erection had completely gone.
Somehow I convinced her it was neither our faults and that it was probably the condom. But after that night I knew I had a problem which had to be fixed immediately. I assumed my poor performance was caused by fear or anxiety (as this was my first true sexual experience.) I quickly bought some herbal supplements hoping they would solve the problem but they didn't. My new girlfriend was really starting to get impatient so I finally mustered the strength to see a doctor. I explained to him my situation and was prescribed some ED pills. They WORKED! I was able to have sex (for the first time.) I used these pills for months all without my gf's knowledge because I was waaayyyy to embarrassed to tell her or anyone else. However, these months were NOT good times. During this time, I still could not reach an orgasm during the actual sex. I would often fake (yes fake) my own orgasms to make my gf happy. Afterwards, I would always have to steal away to "finish"with mobile porn. Also, the sex we had was fake. Yes the pills occasionally worked, but I wasn't enjoying the sex at all. I would fantasize about porn just to keep it up. I was also engaging in heavy PMO throughout the entire relationship. After a short time, the pills had no effect on me at all.
Since porn was the only way I could have an orgasm, I actually preferred it over my gf. Our relationship eventually ended, which was really tough for me, but I still had porn. I would spend hours and hours clicking and surfing the web trying to find something that worked. Videos that had been saved to my computer just weeks or even days before, just couldn't get me off anymore. I also noticed that I masturbated sooo much that I didn't have to be fully hard anymore to ejaculate. I would O with 4/10- 6/10 erections, and the moment I turned away from the screen, my erections would disappear. I found myself PMOing before bed, when I was bored, and whenever I was alone. I knew I had a problem, but I had convinced myself that I could stop at any time and that one more day, week, or month of PMO would not hurt. I had tried to stop, but porn had become a part of my life that I was just not willing to let go.
The last straw for me came fairly recently when I could not perform with a girl I had been sexually attracted to for years. I made up my mind then. that I could not go on with this addiction any longer. I ran to Google and found YBOP and this forum. I have been PMO free for a full 7 days. Since starting my reboot, I have deleted all of my video stashes on my laptop and phone for good! Even though I am only a week into the reboot, I have noticed complete loss of sex drive, libido, and blood activity downstairs. However, I am convinced that there's light at the end of this journey!
