Finally doing something about it

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Caliper7

New Member
Today is the first time I do something about my addiction. I really want  to get rid of it. I know it is not going to be easy but it will be well worth it.
I have been using porn about 4 years ago and it has get worse these couple last two years. It has affected my self-esteem and my relationship with my husband. He has been and addict longer than me and I was trying to help him getting out of it and some how I got into it. That made me feel terrible and I can't forgive my self for that. Which I'm hoping I can forgive my self as part of my journey towards recovery.
Today I relapsed after almost two weeks not watching porn. I know that when I'm alone on my day off it will be difficult not to be tempted.
I read a post on Facebook about an inappropriate  sexual relationship  that kept me thinking and I just started searching and felt for that. :(
Right after I just went straight to yourbrainonporn.com and here I'm starting my journal and reading others people's stories with the hope and determination to recover my self. So today is day 1. Here I go  :)

Caliper7 :)

Ps( My second language is English so bear with me and my grammar)
 
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sm

Member
Good luck Caliper7!  ;) At the beginning, I guess, It's almost impossible to never relapse, but to realize what's good for our life and try to eliminate what's bad, It's a nice way to start.
 
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Caliper7

New Member
Thank you sm I appreciate your support.
It has been 22 days without using porn!! It has not been easy. But as soon I start feeling that urge I comeback here to the site and read people's journals and that helps me. And  I keep reading that reply encouraging  and really helps me to stay strong.
 
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Caliper7

New Member
Today after 37 days of not using porn I had a set back. Sadly I failed yet I can say it was less intense that other times, I don't t know if that's progress or not. I started to recall those images on my mind and then I search for some images in my phone and I saw a couple and stopped right away. Yet it took me a while to get out of that state of mind. I feel bad for what I did but I don't want to be discouraged. I want to make my next try longer than 37 days. Hopefully I'll make it through....wish me luck...
 
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