Hey everyone,
I don't really know where to start. But the idea of this Reboot Nation has really brought some hope for me. I can't thank the admin enough for bringing such effort and most importantly, all praise and gratitude to God, for moving Gabe's heart into establishing this site.
I can't really remember how I'd actually got into this. But I already have such feeling when I was quite young. Probably 11 or so. This idea of having a sexual gratification. I know, 11 years old is probably weird and too young. But then, when I was 13, I heard my friends talked about masturbation and I tried it, out of curiosity, without any imagination of women, it felt really good. Then, the next year they were talking about masturbation with sexy images. I tried that, start imagining & fantasizing, and that felt even better. It was like out of this world.
Then I slowly moved from sexy images, to nudity and finally to hardcore porn. Then I realized that what I'm doing is wrong and it didn't feel right. It goes against my religious teaching and personal belief of women, who was supposed to be man's supporter and companion, not sexual objects. I feel terrified and found out it was really hard to drop it. Every time I failed, I would cry, I feel bad, I repented, and then I drop again. The cycle goes on and on and I felt really bad. People thought I'm awesome due to speech and preach, but deep down, I'm just another loser, who doesn't do what I preached and that felt even miserable.
I started objectifying women. I can't feel respect and love for the opposite gender anymore. Of course, I've given a thought that, getting married was to prevent such things from happening, and I do hope when I get married things will water down. But what if I'm gonna screw the whole marriage? I mean, I'm so freaking worried about this cos things already happened. I already fell into this dark pit. It gives a shiver thinking about it. I can't raise a family with a feeling of lust and treats her the way women are being treated on the porn sites. I really don't wanna screw up. And I really do hope I can cure such addiction and escape ED b4 I get married. God willing, end of this year I'm planning to get married..
Ever since 15 years old, I've tried quitting but it turned out to be just a dream cos the cycle keeps repeating until today. Thank God, I'm free for the last 17-days with no masturbation. But I did cheated with some sexy images, but somehow, after practicing the steps to strengthen willpower from the website, I managed to stop and carry on with life. Cos usually It'll end with ejaculation.
Do pray for me and I loathe your support so much. Thanks guys...
17/30 days to go...
I don't really know where to start. But the idea of this Reboot Nation has really brought some hope for me. I can't thank the admin enough for bringing such effort and most importantly, all praise and gratitude to God, for moving Gabe's heart into establishing this site.
I can't really remember how I'd actually got into this. But I already have such feeling when I was quite young. Probably 11 or so. This idea of having a sexual gratification. I know, 11 years old is probably weird and too young. But then, when I was 13, I heard my friends talked about masturbation and I tried it, out of curiosity, without any imagination of women, it felt really good. Then, the next year they were talking about masturbation with sexy images. I tried that, start imagining & fantasizing, and that felt even better. It was like out of this world.
Then I slowly moved from sexy images, to nudity and finally to hardcore porn. Then I realized that what I'm doing is wrong and it didn't feel right. It goes against my religious teaching and personal belief of women, who was supposed to be man's supporter and companion, not sexual objects. I feel terrified and found out it was really hard to drop it. Every time I failed, I would cry, I feel bad, I repented, and then I drop again. The cycle goes on and on and I felt really bad. People thought I'm awesome due to speech and preach, but deep down, I'm just another loser, who doesn't do what I preached and that felt even miserable.
I started objectifying women. I can't feel respect and love for the opposite gender anymore. Of course, I've given a thought that, getting married was to prevent such things from happening, and I do hope when I get married things will water down. But what if I'm gonna screw the whole marriage? I mean, I'm so freaking worried about this cos things already happened. I already fell into this dark pit. It gives a shiver thinking about it. I can't raise a family with a feeling of lust and treats her the way women are being treated on the porn sites. I really don't wanna screw up. And I really do hope I can cure such addiction and escape ED b4 I get married. God willing, end of this year I'm planning to get married..
Ever since 15 years old, I've tried quitting but it turned out to be just a dream cos the cycle keeps repeating until today. Thank God, I'm free for the last 17-days with no masturbation. But I did cheated with some sexy images, but somehow, after practicing the steps to strengthen willpower from the website, I managed to stop and carry on with life. Cos usually It'll end with ejaculation.
Do pray for me and I loathe your support so much. Thanks guys...
17/30 days to go...
