HELP!!1

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flyboy97222

Member
Hey Guys,

I'm having a hard time explaining to my wife about the progression of my porn addiction. I went from viewing all the normal stuff to using some craigslist ads and escorts ads as porn.
She discovered this by seeing my internet history, and automatically came to the conclusion that I was cheating.

I am having a difficult time convincing her that I have not cheated and was not planning to cheat. 

She says she doesn't care about actual porn, that if I had just been using porn she would work through this addiction with me.  It is the craigslist and escort ads which she cannot handle.

Is there anyone else on this forum that has progressed to craigslist or back page ads, without planning to cheat?

I have scheduled a polygraph but they say its only 98% accurate, she'd like some more evidence.
 
N

nekkhamma

Member
Yes, I had similar problem. I conveniently used that as substitution for porn. Well, that's just a lie I gave to myself and it didn't went well. It eventually landed me on porn sites. Luckily, due to my timid nature, I didn't dare to go for risky adventure with prostitute. But in the back of my mind, I knew, sooner or later, I may end up in a brothel if I don't quit.


Hope you can get help and weather this storm.
 
A

ATWANTtoStop

Member
I can identify with using escort ads and sites to MO.  From when I first started going to those types of sites to actually calling then following through with the use of a sex worker was well over 3 years.  All it took was time to transition from looking to doing. 

The worst part was it became my go to escape!  From expensive, once in a while events to cheap on the street, anytime I could get out. 

Thanks for sharing and it does get better.  Your wife's instinct sounds appropriate to me...at least it would have been in my case at the early stages.



 
M

motojunky

Member
flyboy,

Know that there is help and hope.
- Remember that your wife has been betrayed by you.
- Remember that she is hurting.
- Remember you are going to need to rebuild the trust you broke - no convincing will work.
- You have to take responsibility for what you have done - the reality is you were looking at actual people. You purposely searched out for those people. You might not have taken that step ... yet.
- Look outside of yourself, maybe talk with someone. Search and figure things out.

I know all about wanting to defend myself. Before you do that, listen, hear and be willing to be wrong.

There is much hope and help. Get educated and learn as much as you can
 
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