I'm 33 male, and in a relationship. After about 120 days of not looking at porn or masturbating I am hooked again. I read somewhere that women especially love reading literotica and so I thought it can't be that bad, maybe I am being too hard on myself. I thought "hey it's just erotic stories it's not really porn". I read literotica for about a week and after that I was back on the porn, I have been addicted for the last couple of weeks. But you know what , what difference does it make anyway?!! When I was not looking at porn or masturbating I was only having sex with my girlfriend, but all I was thinking about was porn when I was doing it. What is the point in not looking at porn if you are just thinking about it when you are having sex with your partner! Now I need to make a decision on whether to quit again but really I am thinking what is the point. I can't forget what I have seen and what now turns me on!! Honestly, if I could reset my whole brain to completely forget what I have seen, i really would...but I cannot do that, and now I have all these sexual desires that won't go away. At the end of the day I can go without porn, I did it for four months, but I didn't feel any happier or any more fullfilled, and I still suffer with depression (I was hoping it was linked to porn addiction). It feels like the only time I feel alive is when I look at porn....or maybe that is just me being high on the porn drug. All I am saying is after 4 months of no porn, nothing felt different. Instead of me looking at it, I was just replaying it in my mind whilst I was having sex. I was having alot more sex with my gf during the four months, but what is the point if I am just using her as a masturbatory device....it's wrong!! Now i'm back on porn I am hardly interested in sex with my gf at all, but again, what is the point in having sex if my mind is elsewhere. If anyone out there knows anything or can give me any advice on how to move on, please, I am alll ears.