Sometimes I feel like killing myself, like now

[UselessMeat]

I am extremely depressed today. I am truly scared that my ED will not be cured. I am confident that if it is PIED I will eventually get better, but I am not 100% sure it is PIED. I have spent all day on this forum and really have no motivation to do anything...and I really do need to be doing my school work but I just don't fucking care anymore; All I've been doing today is sitting on the internet reading about all different types of ED trying to find that magic article that makes me feel better like I will be cured and don't physical problem. I am truly worried that I may have some sort of physiological ED. Reading about things like diabetes or kidney disease can cause ED really scares me. But why would I have diabetes or kidney disease.. I'm only 25 years old and I've had that for my entire life as long as I can remember. I also went to the doctor several years ago and they did a urine test and they said everything was normal. It's really fucking annoying reading "but ED is treatable" from these goddamn websites that talk about it. Yeah.. "treatable" with those fucking pills that I will never take. A 25 year old shouldn't need to take those pills to get his cock to work. The thought of never being able to have sex with my girlfriend/wife in my life is so depressing. I don't want to call my girlfriend right now and tell her how depressed I am about this shit. I seriously don't want to bother her with this shit right now.

I feel like my life would be perfect right now if it weren't for this goddamn ED. It's amazing how everything can be great except for one thing.. namely your cock not working.. and that making your entire life just so fucking depressing.

Fuck fuck fuck what did I do to deserve this? If I deserve it because I stroked my cock too much watching porn I can accept that. I just did as every other young boy did but I get punished for it. I can accept being punished for that even though my porn habits were not even that extreme as long as I get better. If I never recover then fuck my life. fuck fuck fuck. Why am I here writing this random shit that nobody wants to read on a forum? I guess it's probably because I can't talk about this to anyone and it's really fucking scaring me. God damnit fuck my life.

Maybe I'll make it through today and see tomorrow and maybe my cock will work better. Fuck

 

[ScaredTurtle]

Im not patronizing you man but calm down over your boners. I understand where your coming from. Nothing makes a man feel as worthless as not being able to achieve an erection or maintain an erection or satisfy a woman. Flatlines can last a long time and they seem even longer when you can't get your shit to work. My last sexual encounter was over 30 days ago and before that was no shit like 10 years, then there she was, the girl I wanted more than life it's self naked in my bed wanting sex so bad she couldn't stand it and there I was with maybe 30% of an erection it was pathetic and believe me I felt as low as low can get.

Its always good to know theres not an organic issue causing your ED. Since I quit PMO I've had almost no erections just weak morning woods with no staying power and almost no sex drive as where I used to consider my sex drive hyper. Were all going through something similar to this and it does get better but progress is slow and you have to fight for it. Go to a doctor or urologist if you feel you need to rule out problems. We do care and were here to help man. When my flatline hit it was rough not only did I lose my boners when I started my reboot i lost all sex drive, motivation, energy everything even ability to do basic math and focus. But things improve man be patient. PM me if you need to. Don't stress this stress is the boner killer. Again we do care and we are here to listen and help

 

[UselessMeat]

Im not patronizing you man but calm down over your boners. I understand where your coming from. Nothing makes a man feel as worthless as not being able to achieve an erection or maintain an erection or satisfy a woman. Flatlines can last a long time and they seem even longer when you can't get your shit to work. My last sexual encounter was over 30 days ago and before that was no shit like 10 years, then there she was, the girl I wanted more than life it's self naked in my bed wanting sex so bad she couldn't stand it and there I was with maybe 30% of an erection it was pathetic and believe me I felt as low as low can get.

Its always good to know theres not an organic issue causing your ED. Since I quit PMO I've had almost no erections just weak morning woods with no staying power and almost no sex drive as where I used to consider my sex drive hyper. Were all going through something similar to this and it does get better but progress is slow and you have to fight for it. Go to a doctor or urologist if you feel you need to rule out problems. We do care and were here to help man. When my flatline hit it was rough not only did I lose my boners when I started my reboot i lost all sex drive, motivation, energy everything even ability to do basic math and focus. But things improve man be patient. PM me if you need to. Don't stress this stress is the boner killer. Again we do care and we are here to listen and help

Thanks man I appreciate your encouragement. I'm just having a really bad day. I'm really confused because I don't feel like I'm flatlining. I can get a boner with my girl throughout my entire reboot except for maybe 4 days I'm pretty sure I had a mini flatline. But I've had these for years before I ever even started my reboot. I really just needed to let out some steam here.. it's been a rough day.

 

[ScaredTurtle]

Cool man, erection oroblems before a reboot can be lots of things, maybe you need to be more comfy with your partner, may be reduce stress, maybe exercise who knows just keep working at it and don't let it get the better of you. I'm nor sure of your history with this and I'm not an expert as I'm only rebooting since march 20th hard mode, no girlfriend to rewire with so you have that going and its good, this is weird shit but its happening on a large scale with young men today and I wouldn't stress it, when your recovered it'll be worth it, even if its a physical problem it can be managed, or fixed same with psychological I think. Talk with your partner and connect on this level, come here for help and see a doctor if you need to. I'm confident you'll be crushing puss if you find your underlying causes and deal with them whatever they may be. Hang tight you got this

 

[ItsTimeToQuit]

I agree with scared turtle. I'm in the same boat my penis won't stand up at all. Sometimes I get morning wood but most nights I don't. You will get better with time, when I read the success stories of our other fap bros on here it gives me hope and most of all understanding. As far as the kidney thing goes. I've been to the doc several times thinking the same thing and even got cat scans and nothing came up. (which I would still get it checked out just to be sure) I correlated my flank pain back to my adrenal glands which get pretty worn out due to the stress you cause your body when constantly PMO'ing. So bottom line stress less however during the reboot your brain will intentionally try to stress your body to get you to fap again just push through it's all temporary. You can also do exercises like reverse kegels which I've been trying the past few days. Google it and take a look. I've also been through quite a bit of depression which is the worst but that is temporary as well and will not get any better unless we stick to the program. Best of luck to you my brother we're rooting for you!

 

[Boaconstricted]

Useless: Was looking at Viagra review site and found this entry ,  least you're not this guy lol:

'I took viagra for mainting the erection of my penis after masturbating. It's in my nature, I have tried condoms, oils, exercises, sex toys, self suck, self facial, self fuck, olive oil masturbation, head ache oil masturbation, hair gel masturbation, spit masturbation, nose mucus masturbation, shit masturbation, menstrual blood & mucus masturbation, soap masturbation. So, i had in mind to try viagra masturbation for continuos masturbation for thrice for four times. After consuming the 50mg Viagra, under 3 mins precum came out with excess speed and I masturbated.. my penis remained erect after masturbation. i tried again, it remained erect again. I continuously jerked for an hour. it was erect. I loss my stamina wore up my pants and sat down in my room. tried again after 5 hours. it got erect and remained erect after ejaculating as well. I got worried about it being priapism. I went on to sleep without any sexual thoughts. I woke up and tried jerking, it remained erect after ejaculating. I was worried. it was 18 hours of consumption. i went on to do my daily work. and tried twice at night, and experiecned same condition. next day i visited a urologist and showed him my dick, while standing. he pressed it and it got erect he tried scaring me by telling you need a surgery in which i will insert a needle and pull off the unrequired blood. i got scared. He told me to visit another doctor, he gave me his address. i went to visit him and he checked my dick after layuing me do.'

Now, that's one geezer who needs a reboot! Selffacial ha ha ha ha! what the holy flying fish fuck is nose mucus masturbation ?!?

 

[Kidrolly]

@Boa

Can't help but wonder where this guy is getting the "menstrual blood" from????? His sisters garbage bin?????? I had a good chuckle.

To cover the serious stuff:

I understand where you're coming from my dude. As just a regular dude I can't say I haven't had a couple thoughts like that myself. Just make sure you're working on you. This is about you, this is about learning. I just came across a good quote that said "don't dwell on your past... You weren't as knowledgable then as you are now" ... And as simple and blatantly obviously as this may be, it is easy to forget that while you were doing these things you didn't exactly know what you know now. Embrace it, it'll be gone, but life doesn't end with your ability to get it up or not. For some, life might just be beginning. You will see things you've never seen, and learn things about yourself you otherwise wouldn't have learned throughout this process. Trust me, I might have had some of those worst bad days of all time, and so might have the guys giving you more advice. But they can tell you what to and what not to do from experience. And whether you trust them right now or not, you'll see on your own. Keep up and keep strong. All we have is each other and we will rise together (pun intended).