F
Freezingcold
Guest
Hello and welcome to my journal.
My name is Marcus, I'm 23 years old and live in Sweden. I registered yesterday here on reboot nation, but I have already been a member on other recovery-forum sites for about a year. I have Known that I'm addicted to porn for about one and a half years.
In the beginning I didn't try too serious to quit watching porn. I did not really believe that I was that addicted, I guess I was in some sort of denial for a long time. When registered on one forum a year ago I gave nofap some more attention. I looked up all info on yourbrainonporn, and was shocked by all the effects porn had on my brain. I began to understand that me not being able to get an erection when I was with my first girlfriend, and most of the girls that has followed along since then maybe had to do with me watching porn.
I got hooked on porn at 15, so that makes it 8 years now. I have tried quitting for a long time now and am pretty tired at it, but I have never given up, I always stand up and looked forward. Some of the things that I have picked up during my journey so far:
*taking cold showers. Truly loves them and has been taking them for 5 minutes each morning for more then a month now.
*meditation. I have not done this regularly, but done it on and off in the mornings. makes me real calm and clears my mind.
*installed k9 webprotection. This has helped me alot, but started to depend on it too much lately and when a urge comes I'm going around it by downloading porn from tpb.. (actually throwed away my pasword for the program). I also sat a pasword on my webbrowser on the phone.
* I have looked at all videos by Mark on nofapacademy on youtube, it helped me understand my addiction further.
The problems for me comes when I just sit around and don't do something with my time. Bored and with a wondering mind the relapse ain't long away. I am giving up to easily when a urge arrives. And the main problem is that I fix all my problems with porn. When some discomfort appears I solve it by fapping.
My goal is to end my addiction to porn. To first make 90 days of nofap so my brain recovers. I want to find someone to love, but I find it hard to do so when I'm not even noticing girls. After a week in recovery that totally changes and there is girls everywhere. I do not want to feel as insecure around other people, which I do right now. I think this is a problem caused by just watching porn instead of being social. I want to be motivated to do things with my life, but when I watch porn I don't care at all really "if I have my porn I don't care what happens to me". Also I am hoping quitting porn will help me getting an erection when it's time. I also want to face all my problems in life instead of running from them like a little kid.
I have noticed that I'm doing best in my recovery when I am really busy. I usually make it well during the weeks but when Saturday arrives and I don't have as much to do I relapse.
Today I had a real busy day at work and haven't yet thought about porn at all. I know tomorrow and Sunday is the hardest days for me so I really have to give it my best now.
- Freezingcold.
My name is Marcus, I'm 23 years old and live in Sweden. I registered yesterday here on reboot nation, but I have already been a member on other recovery-forum sites for about a year. I have Known that I'm addicted to porn for about one and a half years.
In the beginning I didn't try too serious to quit watching porn. I did not really believe that I was that addicted, I guess I was in some sort of denial for a long time. When registered on one forum a year ago I gave nofap some more attention. I looked up all info on yourbrainonporn, and was shocked by all the effects porn had on my brain. I began to understand that me not being able to get an erection when I was with my first girlfriend, and most of the girls that has followed along since then maybe had to do with me watching porn.
I got hooked on porn at 15, so that makes it 8 years now. I have tried quitting for a long time now and am pretty tired at it, but I have never given up, I always stand up and looked forward. Some of the things that I have picked up during my journey so far:
*taking cold showers. Truly loves them and has been taking them for 5 minutes each morning for more then a month now.
*meditation. I have not done this regularly, but done it on and off in the mornings. makes me real calm and clears my mind.
*installed k9 webprotection. This has helped me alot, but started to depend on it too much lately and when a urge comes I'm going around it by downloading porn from tpb.. (actually throwed away my pasword for the program). I also sat a pasword on my webbrowser on the phone.
* I have looked at all videos by Mark on nofapacademy on youtube, it helped me understand my addiction further.
The problems for me comes when I just sit around and don't do something with my time. Bored and with a wondering mind the relapse ain't long away. I am giving up to easily when a urge arrives. And the main problem is that I fix all my problems with porn. When some discomfort appears I solve it by fapping.
My goal is to end my addiction to porn. To first make 90 days of nofap so my brain recovers. I want to find someone to love, but I find it hard to do so when I'm not even noticing girls. After a week in recovery that totally changes and there is girls everywhere. I do not want to feel as insecure around other people, which I do right now. I think this is a problem caused by just watching porn instead of being social. I want to be motivated to do things with my life, but when I watch porn I don't care at all really "if I have my porn I don't care what happens to me". Also I am hoping quitting porn will help me getting an erection when it's time. I also want to face all my problems in life instead of running from them like a little kid.
I have noticed that I'm doing best in my recovery when I am really busy. I usually make it well during the weeks but when Saturday arrives and I don't have as much to do I relapse.
Today I had a real busy day at work and haven't yet thought about porn at all. I know tomorrow and Sunday is the hardest days for me so I really have to give it my best now.
- Freezingcold.