Hi everyone.
I'm starting a journal on Reboot Nation after several months of being on NoFap Reddit. Just finding that NoFap Reddit is too distracting and full of trolls. Please read my story below. Any insight is appreciated, as I battle what I believe is PIED.
Journal: http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=9371.0
Backstory:
I'm 29 years old and I started porn and masturbation at age 13. I've watched porn and masturbated daily throughout my life, often multiple times a day. Although my fetishes have never escalated, I've always felt insatiable, bouncing from tab to tab in order to get the best finish.
I had my first sexual experience at age 16, when I still hadn't accumulated that many years of porn and masturbation. We went as far as oral, and I was able to orgasm each and every time. That was the last time I remember enjoying sex.
I noticed ED problems when I lost my virginity at age 21 (my first sexual experience since age 16, with several more years of PMO filling the gap). I met a great girl but was never able to feel sexually satisfied. Oral didn't do much for me, and sexual intercourse felt sensation-less for the few pumps I could muster before going flaccid. This relationship/fling ended after a couple weeks. In the 9 years since, my sexual experiences with real women have all been the same: I find a girl I like; we start to hook up; my penis becomes flaccid right at the moment of vaginal penetration; and I end the relationship because 'evidently' I'm just not that into her.
My ED showed up again in December 2015, so I ended that short relationship, started doing research, and found YourBrainOnPorn. On my first try, I managed to go 68 days without masturbation, but I was looking at porn here and there to quell the urges. Around 40 days, I was feeling new confidence, increased ability to focus on tasks, and overall improved vitality. But on the 68th day, I tried to have sex and STILL had ED. Since then, I've managed a few month long streaks, and I'm pretty reluctant to date now, since I have no idea of when my ED will ever go away. I've started seeing a family/couples therapist who specializes in ED. She has suggested I attend Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings, but I'm reluctant to do that.
I've never had difficulty achieving morning erections (I have them almost without fail), but I will admit that spontaneous erections are fewer and fewer these years. I found them increasing during that 68-day streak of no porn/no masturbation.
I'm currently on my fourth consecutive day without porn and masturbation. My therapist wants me to reach 90 days, so that's my goal. I'm going to start a journal in one of the other subsections, and I will link it here.
I just want to have a normal sex life. I'm tired of feeling sexually inadequate and alone because of my ED. Do I have PIED? How will I know I'm recovering, short of having sex and seeing if it works or not and risking more shame?
Thanks to anyone who reads this. Any insight is appreciated.
I'm starting a journal on Reboot Nation after several months of being on NoFap Reddit. Just finding that NoFap Reddit is too distracting and full of trolls. Please read my story below. Any insight is appreciated, as I battle what I believe is PIED.
Journal: http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=9371.0
Backstory:
I'm 29 years old and I started porn and masturbation at age 13. I've watched porn and masturbated daily throughout my life, often multiple times a day. Although my fetishes have never escalated, I've always felt insatiable, bouncing from tab to tab in order to get the best finish.
I had my first sexual experience at age 16, when I still hadn't accumulated that many years of porn and masturbation. We went as far as oral, and I was able to orgasm each and every time. That was the last time I remember enjoying sex.
I noticed ED problems when I lost my virginity at age 21 (my first sexual experience since age 16, with several more years of PMO filling the gap). I met a great girl but was never able to feel sexually satisfied. Oral didn't do much for me, and sexual intercourse felt sensation-less for the few pumps I could muster before going flaccid. This relationship/fling ended after a couple weeks. In the 9 years since, my sexual experiences with real women have all been the same: I find a girl I like; we start to hook up; my penis becomes flaccid right at the moment of vaginal penetration; and I end the relationship because 'evidently' I'm just not that into her.
My ED showed up again in December 2015, so I ended that short relationship, started doing research, and found YourBrainOnPorn. On my first try, I managed to go 68 days without masturbation, but I was looking at porn here and there to quell the urges. Around 40 days, I was feeling new confidence, increased ability to focus on tasks, and overall improved vitality. But on the 68th day, I tried to have sex and STILL had ED. Since then, I've managed a few month long streaks, and I'm pretty reluctant to date now, since I have no idea of when my ED will ever go away. I've started seeing a family/couples therapist who specializes in ED. She has suggested I attend Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings, but I'm reluctant to do that.
I've never had difficulty achieving morning erections (I have them almost without fail), but I will admit that spontaneous erections are fewer and fewer these years. I found them increasing during that 68-day streak of no porn/no masturbation.
I'm currently on my fourth consecutive day without porn and masturbation. My therapist wants me to reach 90 days, so that's my goal. I'm going to start a journal in one of the other subsections, and I will link it here.
I just want to have a normal sex life. I'm tired of feeling sexually inadequate and alone because of my ED. Do I have PIED? How will I know I'm recovering, short of having sex and seeing if it works or not and risking more shame?
Thanks to anyone who reads this. Any insight is appreciated.