So, Im gonna make this succinct:
I had been struggling with HOC-D for the longest at the end of last year because part of the whole reason I stopped P was bc of my watching gay porn and not thinking it matched up.... and that's not really an issue for me as much now
But I am in my early twenties and Ive never had a long term girlfriend + I am a virgin
I think these things produce a lot of shame for me at times ( though I know I shouldnt be dictated by what the world thinks of me according to its standards) but it's tough sometimes ...
And I think it's those times when I am just wanting that intimacy and I feel that burning sense of lacking with something I really want- intimate sex with a woman I am attracted to- and I am just lying there horny at night , it makes it so tough not to just masturbate to fantasy of some hot girl I saw in the store, etc. Or even just look up my fav vids (if you know what I mean) on youtube.
It's like I am trying to compensate for my lack of experience... my imagination is unusually powerful and I can really emotionally feel like Im having sex with a hot girl while Im masturbating( and relapsing)... kind of embarassing
It's like I also feel this intense pain of regret... all those years..highshcool and college... I used to wonder why my friends were so flustered about girls yet I was content to be single... because I was a PMO/MO zombie...the instant gratification of that was enough for me..
It's pretty difficult for me... please help, how can I get out of this rut...this vicious cycle of shame about my life and trying to mend it through PMO/F(Fantasy)MO/MO
I had been struggling with HOC-D for the longest at the end of last year because part of the whole reason I stopped P was bc of my watching gay porn and not thinking it matched up.... and that's not really an issue for me as much now
But I am in my early twenties and Ive never had a long term girlfriend + I am a virgin
I think these things produce a lot of shame for me at times ( though I know I shouldnt be dictated by what the world thinks of me according to its standards) but it's tough sometimes ...
And I think it's those times when I am just wanting that intimacy and I feel that burning sense of lacking with something I really want- intimate sex with a woman I am attracted to- and I am just lying there horny at night , it makes it so tough not to just masturbate to fantasy of some hot girl I saw in the store, etc. Or even just look up my fav vids (if you know what I mean) on youtube.
It's like I am trying to compensate for my lack of experience... my imagination is unusually powerful and I can really emotionally feel like Im having sex with a hot girl while Im masturbating( and relapsing)... kind of embarassing
It's like I also feel this intense pain of regret... all those years..highshcool and college... I used to wonder why my friends were so flustered about girls yet I was content to be single... because I was a PMO/MO zombie...the instant gratification of that was enough for me..
It's pretty difficult for me... please help, how can I get out of this rut...this vicious cycle of shame about my life and trying to mend it through PMO/F(Fantasy)MO/MO