A handful of questions from a rebooter

K

Karma

Member
Hi Everyone,

I am on my 2nd day of rebooting. You can find my journal  here http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=9603.0
I still have a lot of questions in my mind guys. I hope you will be able to answer some of them or share your opinions. Thanks a lot!!

1. It was mentioned that rebooting does not mean that I should only abstain to porn and masturbation. That I should also abstain from other media. Does this include looking at pictures of my hot female friends on Facebook?

2. Earlier during my commute to work, I can't help but get a wood when I saw a pretty lady. Sometimes I even get a woody when I remember my hot colleague. Is this considered "imagining" porn or masturbation? Should I avoid these?

3. How about romantic apps/sites such as Tinder? Should I stay away from it? If yes, should I also refrain from seeing the women I matched with? I've been seeing this girl for some months now and I would  really hate it to let her go...

4. How can I check if I am progressing? Will it be okay if I test myself every month by casually having sex with someone? Or will that make me regress?

5. Just to be clear, I am capable of having orgasm during masturbation. Does that mean I don't have any physiological problems?

 
T

Taylor

Member
1. I say yes, because your brain will use any stimulation when in withdrawal. Even real life fantasies have the same effect, because your mind was never meant to be conditioned with such images.
2. Yes, as best as you can. But don't beat yourself up over it. You can't control your mind. Try to meditate.
3. Depends whether you're using it as artificial stimulation. I say stay away. Seeing a real life person might be beneficial.
4. One good sign to know you progress if you are less annoyed by things that used to bother you, like noise. I think sex with real people is ok if you can get it.
5. No, only if you can perform with a live human being.
Good luck.
 
S

Stevew

Well-Known Member
I reached 100 days... erections came back, everything was just better. I made a huge mistake of signing up to okcupid... i spent hours searching for women to hookup with... guess what I literally unintentionally relapsed. Avoid any kind of sexual images. If you do relapse... doing it to a sexual image won't give as much of a dopamine rush as watching a porno... it is still a relapse but the more you relapse after that determines if you benefited from that abstaining. I have been struggling with this for 2 years.. but through quite a few months pmo free I do get morning wood fairly frequently.. even after relapses etc.  Don't binge and you can do it easily
 
K

Karma

Member
Taylor said:
3. Depends whether you're using it as artificial stimulation. I say stay away. Seeing a real life person might be beneficial.
4. One good sign to know you progress if you are less annoyed by things that used to bother you, like noise. I think sex with real people is ok if you can get it.
5. No, only if you can perform with a live human being.
Good luck.
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Stevew said:
I reached 100 days... erections came back, everything was just better. I made a huge mistake of signing up to okcupid... i spent hours searching for women to hookup with... guess what I literally unintentionally relapsed. Avoid any kind of sexual images. If you do relapse... doing it to a sexual image won't give as much of a dopamine rush as watching a porno... it is still a relapse but the more you relapse after that determines if you benefited from that abstaining. I have been struggling with this for 2 years.. but through quite a few months pmo free I do get morning wood fairly frequently.. even after relapses etc.  Don't binge and you can do it easily
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Taylor said:
Yes, you're doing fine. A relapse won't derail you if you don't binge.
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Thanks guys! I guess I'll try to minimize it. I don't use Tinder to stimulate but to search for friends and maybe something serious. Maybe I'll just stick to women that I already met personally and see how it goes. Thanks!

Btw, do you think I should see a Urologist just to check?
 
toxicviper23

toxicviper23

Member
It all depends on how different  things affect you.. 

1.  Same with me..  I abstain from Porn and Masturbation...  should help your brain reboot faster.    Facebook pics though... never bothered me..    Unless it gives you a porn-rush.  Like different fetish dating sites I've visited..  that gave me a massive rush.. even though it's not porn.    Never had a problem with facebook though.    I can see that the girls are attractive but they don't give me a chemical hit. 

2.  In my opinion...  that's perfectly natural, and a healthy sign that you are wired to real women.  Just looking at women doesn't do it for me..  I can see they are attractive but it doesn't give me hard-on or chemical rush. 


3.  Once again..  if it gives you that dopamine-hit,  that chemical-rush  then don't do it.    Any form of prolonged staring that gives you the PMO high, isn't good. 


4.  Can't say on that one..  I'll tell you this though....  This shit takes a LONG FUCKING TIME!  I started PMO like at 9 or 10 YO.  Took me 7 MONTHS to get morning wood.    There are guys reporting that they didn't get major changes until after 9 months.    Depends on how badly your brain has been fucked by porn and masturbation.    Either way..  PMO DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOOD FOR YOU.  So just quit it for good.   


5.  Again.. depends on person..    I don't have ED.  Brushing up against women gives me a hard-on..  but on the other hand...    I am 22 YO, never fucked a girl, socially awkward, bad anxiety, not confident, can't look people in the eye.    So it affects us all differently. 




Here's the thing though..      Within my 7 month record..  I had very short times where I would randomly feel like an ABSOLUTE GOD!  I had this psychopathic confidence that only lasted for like 20 minutes at a time.    Only experienced it like 2 or 3 times...    I have a feeling that is what I'm capable of...  it's just that my brain has been screwed up so badly by porn and masturbation from an early age that I haven't been able to experience my real self. 


So don't feel bad when you've gone 1 or 2 months without any substantial changes..    This is MUCH bigger than most people know.  Our brains are morphed.        I don't know about you..  you might have only minor problems caused by it..    but you won't know until you  remove PMO from your life for good.   
 
K

Karma

Member
Thanks toxic. But I guess meeting women personally won't hurt right? Also if we lead to sex, that shouldn't pose any harm?
 
toxicviper23

toxicviper23

Member
Karma said:
Thanks toxic. But I guess meeting women personally won't hurt right? Also if we lead to sex, that shouldn't pose any harm?
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In my mind that would be a great thing!    For me that's what I'm hoping to do when the time is right.  Your not just abstaining from porn and masturbation, but completely rewiring to what nature intended. 


I mean I've got such little experience it's practically a joke for me to comment on such matters lol.  But in terms of rebooting, I don't see how that could harm you at all. 
 
K

Karma

Member
Dude, today is the right time! Cut yourself some slack. I only had my first girlfriend when I was 24.  I was once in your shoes! Very awkward when it comes to women and never had the confidence or courage..

Have you tried going to art of manliness, doctor nerd love or nerd fitness?
 
toxicviper23

toxicviper23

Member
Karma said:
Dude, today is the right time! Cut yourself some slack. I only had my first girlfriend when I was 24.  I was once in your shoes! Very awkward when it comes to women and never had the confidence or courage..

Have you tried going to art of manliness, doctor nerd love or nerd fitness?
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Hahaha yeah your probably right.  Nothing to lose really!

You know i've heard of them and people say good things....  Probably good resources I should utilize.      What say you?
 
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