I want to beat this....35 plus years of PMO

[diligent]

49 Years Old and completely and unequivocally addicted to PMO since in my early 20s. Been PMOing since early teens....AOL started the addiction for me when the internet was in its beginning stages for the general public. I have lost a marriage, a job and thousands of dollars to my addiction. Not to mention the joys and pleasures of life the way it was intended to be that the addiction has stolen from me......all due to PMO.

My health has suffered greatly! I edged for 12 straight hours back in February causing blot clots that nearly killed me. (Bi Lateral Pulmonary Emboli) Lost countless hours of sleep which he body needs for good health. I have neck issues from compressing my spinal cord to "get the right angle and position of my body" to press and maximize blood flow into my penis.

I have had PIED for at least 5 years. My current wife and I have not made love in 4 years. I am ripping her off from having what she deserves.....I cover it up as health related.....but I know better. It is PIED.

I must change. I must stop. So here I am.....I am an addict. I have the classic signs of being addicted. I right this moment am in a hotel room instead of at work where I should be. I could lose this job if I do not get on the road to recovery.  I was having major palpitations and anxiety from going 2 weeks without a PMO session. I relented. I need control over this.....

I wonder is the palpitations and general not feeling well all apart of my addiction. Dr visit showed all is well. Must be due to what damage I have done. I want to reverse it.....I want to feel complete and whole again. I want to make love to my wife. I want to leave this behind......

Thanks for reading...and any advice you may hae. This site is awesome and I feel like a real hope for me.  Thank you!

 

[Bibbity]

You can do this, you are already waking up and are on your way.  It might be a long road but you can do this if you want it in your heart.  Read everything you can over at YBOP to educate yourself on it.  We are here for you

 

[thenyteowl]

Wow. Hang in there man. What does edging mean?

 

[diligent]

Thanks Bibbity and thenyteowl!!

thenyteowl,  What edging means to me is masturbating to the point of orgasm but stopping at the edge.....thus keeping the  erection solid for an extended period of time. In my case....the blood coagulated in my penis after 12 hours and then when released the clots went to my lungs nearly killing me. ICU for a week.....

This is an all out effort to quit this dreadful habit which has cost me dearly.......

Thank you again for the encouragement.......it means alot!

 

[Needs Coffee]

Sir, you have a lot of great reasons to quit PMO.

I'm still rather new here, so I'm no expert. From what I've read, you may not have an easy and rapid recovery; BUT, you have so much to gain from kicking this addiction. And the fact that you've already had a stretch of 2 weeks with no PMO... that is an accomplishment. It shows that you've got what it takes to kick this thing. If you hike 2 miles and then trip on a rock, it may slow your progress, but it doesn't mean you have to go back and start over at the very beginning of the trail. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, get back on the trail, and watch out for any more of those stumbling blocks.

From what I've read on www.yourbrainonporn.com, anxiety is among the frequent symptoms of PMO withdrawal. Speaking from experience, heart palpitations can be caused by anxiety. Hives, indigestion and a variety of stomach problems, headaches, vision problems, etc., have been caused by underlying anxiety for me, as well. So from my estimation, I'd say that your general feelings of crappiness are withdrawal symptoms, part of your reboot recovery.

Stay diligent!

 

[maledictis]

        Thanks Diligent yeah i  edge too. Thats how i do it. I usualy go for 3,4 hours per day. But i've had long ones like you. My longest was 16 as i remember. i started at 10pm and ended at 2 pm next day. No food no nothing just couldnt stop. I wanted to, i tryed to but i was sure that i was just about to find an even better clip than all those fantastic ones i had seen before. Then it was misery when i finaly came. Then i was in despair and confusion. I couldnt understand. I couldnt belive what i had done. I didnt want to be me. I felt like such a freak such a weirdo. I went to bed stunned and i cryed like a baby. Powerless, hopeless worry fear.

 

[PMOVictory]

Hi diligent

I can relate to your story in a lot of ways, we are about the same age but for me it's been a 40 year battle already.
You can read my story titled - Victory over PMO - and it should give you more insight into where I come from.

All I can say is you are at the best place here with the Reboot Nation.
Here You will find a lot of info, and realise that you are not alone in this battle, however there is hope, and victory.
You have another chance. Your life is precious. Your wife is precious to you and yes, I believe with all my heart that you will be able to pull it through. And yes, the two of you will make love again. It will be glorious and well deserved.

If you feel the need to private message me feel welcome. I would like to be of assistance to you.

Stay strong!
"One step at a time and one moment at a time."

Be blessed