WankFree
Member
Hi Everyone! I am relieved to have discovered this website and the YBOP website. It is clear to me now how porn and fantasy have been affecting me for most of my adult life. I am 51 years old and gay. I have been recovering from alcoholism for 25 years and understand addiction well. With that said I have still struggled with MWP. I believe that this started out as fantasy as a way to express my homosexual feelings when I was young, I did this until I was 25 years old when I came out. As porn has become more and more readily available I have combined fantasy and porn, projecting on to the pornographic images what they are thinking, what they want or whatever. The internet really ramped this behavior up for me and I was not aware that it was also causing me to have sexual dysfunction with real people. My sexual world became very isolated for a long time. I have struggled to address this by stopping the use of porn, but would re-play memories in my head with masturbation along with fantasy. I now understand that this is part of the problem as well, it actually makes perfect sense. I have not used porn for 5 days now, but have masturbated with replaying porn, fantasy and acting out experiences in my head. I know it is not healthy, but the urges are tough to deal with and tonight I am tempted to use porn. I decided to come here first and register and share a little bit of my story first and hopefully the urges to use porn will pass.