The Diary of a Married well functioning (even sex) Porn quitter

[Married with children]

Bibb. What a great way of illustrating how hard communication can be between man and woman. The men are debating how to make their dicks work and you as a woman send me 'Your partners 5 love languages'. It is safe to say the focus is different

I did go through it. My wife and I would certainly have VERY different love languages... And we could probably fill out each other's with a 90% hit rate.

Remember that porn has not been an issue in our marriage. I desided to quit, she is not even certain it is a good idea. It is up to me to prove it is important and that it will have a positive effect... Both inside and outside the bedroom.

I did the same with exercise 2 years ago. I myself felt I had to start. 186/91kg. Now I have run 2600km turned fat into muscle and are 84kg. She is indifferent now, but if am certain my improved health will prove valuable in the 'long run'

My point: It is impossible to share brains, so motivation must come from yourself.

 

[Bibbity]

I'm not giving you advice on giving up porn, I'm trying to help you get laid more with more enthusiasm from your wife as you complained about it above.

Anyway you seem to have it all figured out with your wife so I'll leave you to it.

 

[Married with children]

Good point, and what a noble cause that is

Thank you again!

 

[Married with children]

40 days. Probably the longest break from PMO since I started jerking off as a teenager I have manged through 2 weeks without the family in the house. (Vacation time here). And now my wife has her period! I am being tested

As previously stated I'm not quitting MO, but as I try to do it without any form of images it's not so easy and massively reduced. Once a week.

Changes? Not sure, my wife jokes aboth this PMO quitting not being a good idea as I am am even more desperate to have sex with her than usual. So reactions differ.....

So, a question to the veterans out there. How can you test that you are actually resetting? I want my receptors back, but have no idea how I'm doing on that front.

 

[Married with children]

A small update! Enjoying summer and 45 days with no porn. I would like to say one thing. There is a lot of tragic stories out there, stories of addiction almost impossible to tame.

I think it is very important that people address porn as a problem even if the problems has not materialised fully. I was doing ok, but it did se the signs. I did not understand before I by accident saw 'the great porn experiment' and things became clear.

I might declare victory to early but my view is that it is not always that hard.

Understand the consequences of going on, and set some goals. Follow up on them and share your experiences.

 

[Needs Coffee]

I might declare victory to early but my view is that it is not always that hard.

I've had temptation, but nothing like many of the accounts I've read. Although I have several years of PMO etched in my brain, it doesn't go all the way back to puberty for me. So I think that's made my journey from PMO and PIED to recovery much easier.

How can you test that you are actually resetting?

Since you didn't have PIED like some of us,  , your recovery won't be as obvious. Perhaps the best other thing I can say is getting my mojo back. It's things like a higher energy level and using my time for much more productive things. Since I'm single, the other part of my mojo recovery is that I'm getting laid,  ;D , a lot! ... rather than jerking off while staring at a computer monitor. Ugh! What a miserable waste of my time and jizz that was.

 

[Married with children]

I'm on vacation with no easy access to porn, but a lot of access to my wife

Have not been here for a while, but it seems my counter passed 60!
I will go on to 120 and then do an evaluation. Not 100% sure I will ban or limit porn. For me the picture is not so crystal clear. I am truly scared of the damaging effects of porn. But it seems the pathways in my brain regarding my wife is stronger.

 

[OldHornyGuy]

Good to hear that your bonds to your wife are so strong.  As I look at it now, I am keeping porn out of my life just because I see no real need for it, just like I feel no strong need for reality singing shows on TV.  Just don't see a need to waste my time watching them -- same with porn videos.

If I need sex, I can get it with my SO.  If I am bored and need something to do, I got plenty of things on my todo list.

Now, maybe some day, my SO and I might feel some need to spice things up with some visual material.  Can't imagine why, but maybe.  I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.  For now I am enjoying real sex and even more importantly, real human contact.  Pixels have nowhere to fit in.

Peace and Stay Strong!

 

[Married with children]

Is 90 days a big thing? This seems to be the average time to reset for a guy my age (that had limited access in my teens). I can see it in the distance!

I do feel more horny, and constantly chase my wife around She on her side is not too happy about this, as she thinks I was bad enough while still using porn

Apart from that I do not feel that different. I went from PMO every day to no PMO over the night. I have peeked a few times, but quickly got my wits back together and never downloaded /viewed anything. The urge to go back is still there  and it is a constant mental battle.

If there has been no access to normal sex (period, travel) I have MOed but without any images in my head (focusing on the sensation). This is not so easy, and it have not done it more than 4 times since I started this project. Still, I feel that this might prolong the reset an thus have set 120 days as a goal.

Anyway...still going strong!

 

[SO Reboot Partner]

Is 90 days a big thing? This seems to be the average time to reset for a guy my age (that had limited access in my teens). I can see it in the distance!

I do feel more horny, and constantly chase my wife around She on her side is not too happy about this, as she thinks I was bad enough while still using porn

Apart from that I do not feel that different. I went from PMO every day to no PMO over the night. I have peeked a few times, but quickly got my wits back together and never downloaded /viewed anything. The urge to go back is still there  and it is a constant mental battle.

If there has been no access to normal sex (period, travel) I have MOed but without any images in my head (focusing on the sensation). This is not so easy, and it have not done it more than 4 times since I started this project. Still, I feel that this might prolong the reset an thus have set 120 days as a goal.

Anyway...still going strong!

One of the most difficult things for me as a wife/SO to deal with in the healing process is re-establishing our sexual relationship. I know when I am just an access point for sexual release vs adored and cherished as a partner.

90 days, 120 days or a year might get the access points functionally clear of PMO debris, but it won't guarantee that heady rush of being the Mac-Daddy-A-Number-One-World's-Greatest-Lovah in the eyes of your partner. We all know when this happens - when you have loved that special spouse/partner so completely, fully and so well she/he just beams with it. (This isn't just for the gents, ladies like knowing how good they are in the eyes of their partner too.)

This is something you won't ever get from PMO or just by rebooting. It takes real bonding and reconnecting.

 

[Married with children]

I'm not sure emotional connection or sexual performance was the issue here. This year has probably been the happiest in our marriage.... Even before my porn quitting project.

Maybe I will improve emotionally and sexually, you can never have to much fuel in that tank

I did have ED early in the relationship, not porn related I think. It was horrible and just the possibility of that keeps me off the porn. And I do agree porn is damaging in itself

 

[Married with children]

Man.. this last days have been hard. Wife had to go out of the country and I am left both with no partner and to much time on my hand. Yesterday late at night I found myself checking some updates and arguing wit myself about having a little go.  I did not download or stream anything and left "junior" alone. That was certainly a close call. If I even open a porn(ish) website for the rest of the week the counter will go to 0... PMO or not.

Reading a few success stories have given me some fuel. First target is 90 days!

 

[Brooklyn Jerry]

It's 24 days for me,but  thankfully I found this site. For quite a while I would clear out my bookmarked porn sites and say to myself and say I had enough of this garbage. I guess I had a slight case of PIED, although it may have been just overuse.At my age M a few times before having sex may not be too smart and idea. I know the advice to young was was to JO before a date so you could last longer. As for just M without porn! I think if I was in a situation like I was a few years ago my wife of 35 years passed away, it would have been better to M using my imagination. But before she passed away and was sick in bed, I did go in the next room and watch porn an M. A sick though just came to me,about two weeks before my wife passed away a social worker from the hospice came to visit. She was a 30 something Asian lady, really cute. That nite I rented an Asian porn video, never did that before.
    All this porn M had me going to get ED treatments when all I needed was to quit JO so much.