Hey Escape, thanks for dropping by!
Re your point about days, personally I choose to deal with day 20 when i'm at day 20. If we're worrying about something that hasn't happened yet, it is most likely the case that our brains are already making it into a bigger problem than it is. You get what I mean?
Thoughts like "how am I going to do ___ number of days when i'm feeling like ____ and I am only at day ___ and I can't even make it to day ____" are basically one of the first steps towards relapsing into old patterns of behaviour. And i'm not being high and mighty about this either. I've been there! Many posts in my journal to prove it.
The mind creates a false narrative that it's just too hard to do and, in a moment of weakness, this provides the perfect excuse to give in and give up. I've talked about this in this journal many times before.
This is known as catastrophizing, you can read up on it here -
https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/catastrophizing
I mean, what's really going to magically happen when we reach 90 days anyway? Are we going to wake up at 90 days with a beautiful wife, family, amazing job, shredded physique or some other ideal of what a dream life is?
90 days is just a number and there is living proof everywhere on this site of that.
Life doesn't start after 90 days. It's now, it's fleeting and I worry sometimes reading your posts that you're waiting to reach some milestone of being clean before you can live your life. If this is true, don't!
Instead, perhaps look at the example of someone like Phineas and adopt a 'set & forget' strategy. Once that's done do some pushups or a minute of planks before brushing your teeth or having breakfast. Get on a dating site and meet some real women. Get on Youtube and learn a skill you've always wanted. Read up on psychology, get a therapist and proactively work on your problems. Learn a language. Visit a place you've always wanted to go. There are so many things you could do today if you chose.
Live your life, manage the urges when they arise and if you lapse or PMO, post here with a how, a why & what you will do differently next time.
Your life is yours and yours alone Escape, don't let it slip away.
P.S. -
DAY 3 today. I am committing to staying clean today no matter what comes my way. Looking forward to returning here tomorrow and posting that i've successfully done so.
Wishing you all well.