Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!

[Blenderhead]

your overcoming  no pun intended
is awesome to read your perseverance is outstanding
is it possible that your confidence has changed
well done sir take a bow

Thanks sir! I have really tried everything and been working out, doing yoga, eating healthy, going out to meet girls. Going to bed with several women, even knowing I would fail and I failed A LOT. But in the end the process really worked for me!

This night I just had the best sex! I lasted for 30 minutes or more. I had sex twice, and my dick was so hard it hurt. Today I feel like I could have sex again - but I will wait until tuesday, when my lady friend will come over.

Im really happy about being cured. It took me 3 years before the turning point came! Now the process is just accelerating quickly. Now I see big improvements in two areas: 1) I last much longer during sex - I can have sex without O'ing. Probably for an hour or more.I used to have premature ejaculation and would even orgasm with a totally soft dick 2) I have a shorter refractory period and my libido is back everyday. I love women and I love life. And I really love having a girlfriend again - although it's not that serious yet. But she is sleeping over a few times each week and loving the sex

Ps. I have not watched porn for more than 3,5 years now and I will never go back! I have not masturbated in more than a year, I can't really rememeber the last time. All of my orgasms have been with girls. And the hard mode was really the turning point for me! Without this hard mode period, my libido would never have come back, I think!

So my advise is still.

1) Stop watching porn
2) Stop masturbating if you don't have libido
3) Focus on health, work out and run (maybe supplement with horny goat weed tea and maca powder)
4) Don't do any edging
5) Rewire with sex and do not force any erections during sex. Don't touch yourself. Turn off the lights and just see if you can get erections from kissing and touching. Too much light during sex is just a mood killer
6) Don't expect too much from your dick, it's normal it goes soft and comes back again.

In my experience the process from total ED to being normal takes at least a year from hard mode. And in my case it took more than 3 years because I masturbated once per week. I went from total ED, no morning erections, no erections during sex, not being able to have sex at all to my current state. Now I can have sex 3 times in a night and after 1-2 weeks or less I am ready again. I keep my erections during sex in many different positions. After about 30 min I usually need a break and I lose my erection, but it will come back after a break. I think this is normal.

My libido is even stronger today than it was as a teenager! But this is because I kept my libido down by masturbating 1-3 times each day back then! If only I knew how dangerous porn is back then!

Also spend some time going out and talk to girls each week if you are single. This will increase libido gradually. Don't drink too much alcohol, because then you will probably just masturbate when you get back home. The most difficult thing about this proces is changing all those negative habits and thoughts that keep you down.

 

[screwedup40]

Very inspiring update!  You are really a trailblazer for those of us that are taking way longer then the 90 days.  Thanks for coming back and posting your successes.  I'm using them as motivation since I've lost faith in this process multiple times.

 

[jyjjyj]

your post is very very inspiring me !! thank for sharing your honest experiences.

we need your help. please keep sharing your experineces.

so, I have a question

could you tell me detaily how to overcome PE.

do you know KAREZZA? what is your opinion about KAREZZA?

 

[lyon]

I also have not watched porn in 3 years. For most of this recovery period I had steady sex. But after getting erections back, the sensation and erection size has only been 85%-90% of what they were pre-PIED. I suspected this was due to edging and fantasy, both of which I recently stopped. Thanks for your story, it really confirms how MO, edging and fantasy can affect the process, even after a long time PMO-free.

 

[Gracie]

your post is very very inspiring me !! thank for sharing your honest experiences.

we need your help. please keep sharing your experineces.

so, I have a question

could you tell me detaily how to overcome PE.

do you know KAREZZA? what is your opinion about KAREZZA?

Kareeza is an excellent way to have touching that helps you connect.  It helped us a lot as my husband recovered!

 

[tommy_0113]

How do you pick up girls? Nights out? I ask because you say you had 30 occasions with girls in one year!

 

[live_and_laugh]

You mean you didnt edge when having actual sex not masturbation?

 

[Hardheaded]

Your success is encouraging and interesting.
Like you I am 34 and began looking at pornography around 12 years old and it became a strong addiction by my twenties. I clearly remember I was able to get very hard, sky-pointing erections at just the thought of a naked girl or the thought of sex from just mental imagery from puberty all the way up to around age 25. Afterwards I entered depression due to life circumstances and turned to porn heavily, masturbating sometimes multiple times per day and it became a daily or 3-5x a week habit for probably 7 years.

I had no clue I was doing anything to the sexual wiring between my crotch and my brain, but I soon began to notice that I had softer and softer erections when viewing porn and soon I only could achieve an erection through manual stimulation. I never completely lost my erections, but I discovered to my horror I could no longer achieve any sort of erection when looking at an attractive woman in real life or fantasy. I began dating a girl around age 31 and noticed that I could still get erections, but they were either very soft or went away quickly and I only achieved them when I was emotionally connected with her and started kissing and engaging in foreplay. Even during sex my erections weren't very hard and I often thought about my rock-hard erections from years ago and thought how I probably wasn't pleasing her as well as I could have with a much harder erection.

I have been aware of porn induced erectile dysfunction for the last 4 years or so and I must say I have not done everything to perfection. I do get morning wood occasionally and erections, but they are a dismal shadow of my former self 15 years ago. I miss those rock hard erections I could get at the mere thought of a naked woman without any sort of physical stimulation. What frustrates me is that sexually rebooting appears to be different for everyone due to the uniqueness of each person's mental experiences and wiring. Some guys claim to reboot after a few weeks, some months, and others years. So much of it is vague. For me a successful reboot is judged against the rock hard erections from puberty and between the ages of 14-21. Rock hard erections that stay erect even when you're not mentally engaged or trying to keep it are the goal (within reason), but nevertheless are what I had until my mid twenties.

I have drastically reduced porn in the last year and totally eliminated porn since around January 2017 except for images I see on Facebook of pretty girls, advertisements on tv, random images on the internet, or busty girls at the gym. I don't go looking for porn or sexy women, they just seem to find me. lol I was always curious to what extent all sexual stimuli be eliminated because how can anyone live life totally separate from attractive stimuli such as women and random pictures throughout the day? I admit sexual mental fantasy is HARD to stop doing because I have done it since I was probably 9 years old. I broke up with my girlfriend of 3.5 years January 1 this year and began dating another girl in March 2017.

Being aware of all this and what it takes to be successful, I am now bummed and nervous to enter into this relationship and now have to deal with this and the possible implications it will have on this new girl, but I am determined to beat this. So I have questions from you Blenderhead and others who have been successful. Obviously, us older guys have formed these harmful mental pathways over years and years with no knowledge of the damage being done so I know for us the discipline required to reverse these patterns will be greater and more intense. So please Blenderhead or someone explain to me in great detail:

WHAT IS HARD MODE?????

Yourbrainonporn.com and other such sites seem to have 3 holy tenets as a common theme when it comes to rebooting:

1)Stop Porn
2)Stop Masturbating
3)Stop Orgasming (includes edging, which many guys do while viewing porn for hours and hours without cumming)

But this can be taken much further as well....

4)Stop mental fantasy of sex or anything that turns you on
5)Stop engaging external stimuli, such as women or anything with a sexual nature that activates the pleasure/dopamine centers of your brain in the same way as does porn
6)Stop any form of sexual activity with anyone, including a wife, girlfriend or friend with benefits

As you can see, this can be taken to the extreme and living a normal life rules out the black and white, hard and fast rule of avoiding all sexual stimuli. People have said, as have you Blenderhead, that having a significant other can speed up the healing process. If touching "yourself" slows down, halts or reverses the rewiring process, how does a partner factor into that equation? Can you essentially have a girlfriend or wife during a true reboot process? Can your woman touch your crotch, masturbate you and such or will this too slow down, halt or reverse your progress? Must you tell your woman "hey babe, we can't have sex or engage in any sexual situations for anywhere between 1-24 months and I hope you will stay with me through the process instead of finding another man with a working erection."

So seriously....what is most likely guaranteed to work here? Can anyone provide a definitive, step-by-step process of the fastest route to healing along with the explanations of different situations along the way?

Explain "HARD MODE" exactly.
Explain what WILL promote healing and what will slow down, halt or reverse healing.

Any thoughts, advise, or experimental wisdom is greatly appreciated.
Thanks!

 

[Sahara]

your overcoming  no pun intended
is awesome to read your perseverance is outstanding
is it possible that your confidence has changed
well done sir take a bow

2) I have a shorter refractory period and my libido is back everyday. I love women and I love life. And I really love having a girlfriend again - although it's not that serious yet. But she is sleeping over a few times each week and loving the sex

Now I can have sex 3 times in a night and after 1-2 weeks or less I am ready again. I keep my erections during sex in many different positions. After about 30 min I usually need a break and I lose my erection, but it will come back after a break. I think this is normal.

My libido is even stronger today than it was as a teenager! But this is because I kept my libido down by masturbating 1-3 times each day back then! If only I knew how dangerous porn is back then!

I feel like these statements contradict each other... If you have to wait a week or two before having sex again... Your libido can't be that great. A normal libido would allow you to have sex the next day. Don't mean to be a downer but I'm really starting to wonder if you can actually get back to the point where you want sexual stimulation every day/every other day (and be able to keep it up because the desire is strong enough) when you develop this condition. It seems that most people who talk about "recovery" never make it there. Which kinda sucks man.

 

[misc person 86]

I feel like these statements contradict each other... If you have to wait a week or two before having sex again... Your libido can't be that great. A normal libido would allow you to have sex the next day.

Yes I know what you mean. However, hopefully he can clarify this as his earlier point was something like "shorter refractory period... Libido each day".

I'm praying this "normal libido" will return (I'm currently having 3 week on, 1 week off with my libido, which is so bloody frustrating. It's been like this for so long now). Until I can have sex every day or my dick works everytime my brain wants it to I won't be posting a success as it wouldn't be legit. I hope one day the day will come.

I'm worse case scenario btw.

 

[Itsyaboi]

Hey man
I'm 17 nearly 18 and have been PMOing every day til about a year and a bit ago, when I found out first hand that I had PIED, after I couldn't get it up to have sex with my gf.
Long story short, it's been well over a year since I last watched porn and I've masturbated occasionally, even tho I've stopped now. Yet although there has been drastic improvements I'm far from where I want to be. I've had successful sex once in that time frame, with a decent amount of  other sexual experiences being a mixture of good and bad.
I'm sceptical if I can ever live a normal sex life and it consumes me everyday and I'm very depressed about it.
I'm about to go into a relationship and I have some questions
- You talk about waiting a week or so before having another orgasm. Has this time frame reduced as you recover?
- When I'm about to do stuff w a gal I do have an erection but it's no where near as hard as I remember it was when I was younger, how has ur hardness improved over time?
Basically asking about the frequency and stiffness of your erections, when you're with a girl and when you're on your own, is there a difference?
I'm feeling lifeless down there and I really don't wanna screw this up with this girl
Thanks man and congrats x

 

[Blenderhead]

I feel like these statements contradict each other... If you have to wait a week or two before having sex again... Your libido can't be that great. A normal libido would allow you to have sex the next day.

Yes I know what you mean. However, hopefully he can clarify this as his earlier point was something like "shorter refractory period... Libido each day".

I'm praying this "normal libido" will return (I'm currently having 3 week on, 1 week off with my libido, which is so bloody frustrating. It's been like this for so long now). Until I can have sex every day or my dick works everytime my brain wants it to I won't be posting a success as it wouldn't be legit. I hope one day the day will come.

I'm worse case scenario btw.

Well I had sex this thursday and then saturday again without any problems. I just don't want to orgasm too many times because I enjoy building up the sexual energy. I find it good to go 1-2 weeks without orgasm sometimes because then the sex will feel much better and I'm more aroused but my libido is there every day.

 

[Blenderhead]

Hey man
I'm 17 nearly 18 and have been PMOing every day til about a year and a bit ago, when I found out first hand that I had PIED, after I couldn't get it up to have sex with my gf.
Long story short, it's been well over a year since I last watched porn and I've masturbated occasionally, even tho I've stopped now. Yet although there has been drastic improvements I'm far from where I want to be. I've had successful sex once in that time frame, with a decent amount of  other sexual experiences being a mixture of good and bad.
I'm sceptical if I can ever live a normal sex life and it consumes me everyday and I'm very depressed about it.
I'm about to go into a relationship and I have some questions
- You talk about waiting a week or so before having another orgasm. Has this time frame reduced as you recover?
- When I'm about to do stuff w a gal I do have an erection but it's no where near as hard as I remember it was when I was younger, how has ur hardness improved over time?
Basically asking about the frequency and stiffness of your erections, when you're with a girl and when you're on your own, is there a difference?
I'm feeling lifeless down there and I really don't wanna screw this up with this girl
Thanks man and congrats

Hey! You are only (nearly) 18 so it's just a perfect time to learn about how your body works and how porn can mess you up. I have friends that have never learned it! I learned it later but I really enjoy this process and for me it has not been too late.

To answer your questions. The refractory period has decreased gradually for me. Less than one year ago I could really lose ability to get erection and interest in sex for almost a month if I had an orgasm. I would also be with my ex girlfriend and after one orgasm I would not feel any need to see her for 2-3 weeks, sometimes more ... I had a hard time connecting with women because my libido would die almost and I felt no need to connect ... I have during my recovery gone for many months without any morning erection or anything - I often have morning erection now.

It also took away all of my attention. I guess we finally really appreciate our dicks once they stop working!

I don't really test my erections when I am alone. I have sex pretty often, so I don't really need to wank. But it seems like my dick has become harder and harder. And I can get erections for a long time. Last time with my girl I had erection for 1-2 hours during sex and almost never lost erection. I even made her orgasm without doing so myself.

During my recovery I have really lost ability to get aroused by porn and selfstimulation but my erections with girls have improved. At present time I never even touch myself - I just get an erection by kissing and I am often ready when I take my pants off ... I might have 70 % in the beginning but once I start with sex its 90 % or more. Girls also like a full but slightly soft dick in the beginning so its not a problem.

Hope this helps a bit and good luck. Of course you will recover ... I think you just need to get your confidence back. My pied was 100 % neurological in the beginning but later in the process it was more performance anxiety.

 

[Blenderhead]

How do you pick up girls? Nights out? I ask because you say you had 30 occasions with girls in one year!

I go out mostly every weekend but I have more succes by going up to women during the day and just talking and gradually building friendships and hang out. It really takes a lot of courage in the beginning but after a few times it becomes easier.

 

[Blenderhead]

Your success is encouraging and interesting.

So seriously....what is most likely guaranteed to work here? Can anyone provide a definitive, step-by-step process of the fastest route to healing along with the explanations of different situations along the way?

Explain "HARD MODE" exactly.
Explain what WILL promote healing and what will slow down, halt or reverse healing.

Any thoughts, advise, or experimental wisdom is greatly appreciated.
Thanks!

Hey! I found your story really interesting too. It's amazing how porn addiction can come gradually for years so you don't notice the consequences. I really don't know exactly what to say to your entire post ...

1) It seems like your erections are just slightly softer now - which is natural - my erections are also sligtly softer most times compared to when I was a teen but I am far more interested in girls now and I have the ability to fuck better than I had before. Sometimes the erections are sligtly soft but that is natural.

2) I would suggest you stop all porn use, of course. It brings nothing good to your life. Hard mode for me is to live without MO too. I have not MO'd now in almost a year - all of my orgasms have been with women! I find this more satisfying and also it gives me a lot of motivation to go out and "hunt" girls when I am single. Its just such a wonderful feeling to express ones sexuality through energy and action rather than through looking at porn.

3) Having a girl really helps! I would suggest to have sex more slowly and intimately and just to tell your girl that you don't want to orgasm because you want to enjoy it. When you achieve full erection for longer time then don't be afraid to orgasm but there is no need to do this every time!

4) Also joke a little, don't take sex too seriously. If you lose your erection - don't see it is a major problem. It's more likely your girl will accept it because YOU accept it. And girls get a lot of their emotions from guys. If you are insecure they will become insecure.

I think you are close to normal sexual function so it should not take long for you. I basically had no erection for many, many times! Once I had a soft erection I was more happy than you probably

I hope this helps a little bit Ty

 

[xburnerphonex]

Hey man, congratulations on your success and also thank you for keeping in touch with the forum still; it's so great to have someone who actually recovered chime in. If you don't mind I'll ask my fair share of questions, though I'll try to keep it brief.

Long story short: 24 y/o virgin, decided to give NoFap a go about a year ago, fell into an instant flatline, discovered PIED, swore off PMO forever since; had an "experimental" MO after experiencing a surge of libido and falling back into flatline at the start, but as it stands I've been abstinent of any O for 8 months (save for a wet dream or two).

I'm unsure on how to proceed ? nowadays I get morning wood pretty irregularly (but when I do it's usually fairly strong), shrinkage largely subsided, had some random erections of varying strength and dated a bit in order to rewire, though nothing consistent. I'm currently texting with a girl that I might find myself in a long-distance relationship with, who's also a bit on the conservative side like myself. If we do end up getting together, we'd probably be seeing each other once a week, allowing me to rewire with her at that frequency (by kissing, cuddling, fooling around, romantically spending time together).

I guess my general question is: does this sound like a good plan to you in terms of rewiring? I think I can keep her attention for 6-9 months by doing this before she may start demand more, saving actual intercourse for when we move in together or something. If that doesn't work out, I've been considering trying picking up random women during the daytime and rewiring with them. The goal is to get easily aroused by interacting with them. Some people also recommend rewiring to light touch, but I personally have no interest in self-stimulating myself ever again.

 

[DepressedAndOut]

Blenderhead,

When did you lose your virginity? How much  sexual contact did you have with girls before losing your virginity?

I'm nearly 34 and I'm a virgin - I never had one intimate moment with a woman and I'm constantly sick and worried that my PIED will not cure.

Your help would be much appreciated.

 

[r_ryan85]

Really great story. Thanks for sharing. I learnt a lot from this post as well.

 

[KW1989KW]

Congratulations on your recovery. This is probably one of the best and most informative posts I've seen. Super refreshing to hear how well you are doing. Thanks for sharing man!

ImOnMyWay

 

[misc person 86]

Just read all this again.

Blenderhead, you're the king!!!

I'm almost 2 years no pmo, 4 month hardmode (had a gf b4).

Mw and libido is insane, confidence is great and anxiety lessened.

I feel a bit scared to try sex though, incase I flat line again or my confidence and drive diminishes. It's a very dark place and I'm happy to be out of it, but I need some sex soon... But don't want to risk my progress.

What's a man with his new found erections to do?