willpower1111
Member
Hey man your case is identical to mine and your going great.I will be following your posts good luck
Mark-II's journey to No-FAPdom
- Thread starter Mark-II
- Start date
Day 18 = Success. 
Thanks for the good luck Willpower... Same back to you.
Short update... Weird shit is happening... LOL Not bad, just weird (for me).
I had 2 (count them... 1... 2...) sexual dreams last night. The dreams involved girls that I generally consider to be just friends. I am absolutely sure that pre-reboot mode, these dreams would not have happened. I going to count this as a win and as a sign that my natural libido regarding women that I encounter in my everyday dealings is starting to return.
I get tempted when I'm sleepy, but I've managed to push through so far... Almost can't believe I'm 18 days in... where did the time go?!?
Anyways... Pushing forward. (And also... Guardians of the Galaxy was a good time; check it out. )
Thanks for the good luck Willpower... Same back to you.
Short update... Weird shit is happening... LOL Not bad, just weird (for me).
I had 2 (count them... 1... 2...) sexual dreams last night. The dreams involved girls that I generally consider to be just friends. I am absolutely sure that pre-reboot mode, these dreams would not have happened. I going to count this as a win and as a sign that my natural libido regarding women that I encounter in my everyday dealings is starting to return.
I get tempted when I'm sleepy, but I've managed to push through so far... Almost can't believe I'm 18 days in... where did the time go?!?
Anyways... Pushing forward. (And also... Guardians of the Galaxy was a good time; check it out.
) Day 19 & 20 = Success.
These were tough days... my resolve was definitely tested.
I don't drink often and I VERY rarely smoke any of the good stuff, but some how over the course of this weekend I managed to do a fair bit of both. Good times, but my reboot mode was almost comprised. Suffice it to say that my inhibitions and judgement were a bit impaired. I was very tempted to PMO or just MO, but I managed to get / force myself to sleep before I did anything stupid.
I can honestly take credit for dodging an anti-reboot-bullet here (forcing myself to sleep), but if I was smarter, I wouldn't have had to dodge such bullets at all. I'll keep this under better control going forward.
Still in the game... pushing foward.
These were tough days... my resolve was definitely tested.
I don't drink often and I VERY rarely smoke any of the good stuff, but some how over the course of this weekend I managed to do a fair bit of both. Good times, but my reboot mode was almost comprised. Suffice it to say that my inhibitions and judgement were a bit impaired. I was very tempted to PMO or just MO, but I managed to get / force myself to sleep before I did anything stupid.
I can honestly take credit for dodging an anti-reboot-bullet here (forcing myself to sleep), but if I was smarter, I wouldn't have had to dodge such bullets at all. I'll keep this under better control going forward.
Still in the game... pushing foward.
Day 21, 22, & 23 = Success!!! AND CRAZY SHIIIIAAAATTTTEEEE!!!
Guys... Brace yourselves... If you get triggered easily, you may not want to read the rest of this post...
OK... So look... Don't ask me how this managed to happen, but believe that I'm telling the truth... ) (Because I am...)
On day 21, I had sex with one of my favorite porn stars.
No... Real talk... I'm NOT joking. This shit actually happened!!! I didn't try to set this up, but it happened. !_!
I've given this a lot of thought, and I'm counting this as a win.
When I was with her, I wasn't closing my eyes imagining her in one of her scenes. I wasn't clinging to some ingrained memory of her that I've had stuck in my brain for years. I was actually thinking about the beautiful woman in front of me. Because the way this situation arose, I actually got to converse with her quite a bit about some real wold shit before things took this turn. I say this to say we made a connection and I actually felt like I was with a real person and not some real life figment of my imagination or some wonky hologram that I can through some manner of dark magic also touch.
Because I was thinking about the person I was with, and I actually felt some layer of emotional connection with her, I'm not counting this as porn (even though she's a porn star). I'm counting this a real life person-to-person session of mutual enjoyment. My no PMO streak continues!!!
I know... crazy. I'm still kind of shocked about it. After 21 days with no PMO, no MO, and no O at all, I was in rare form. In a sense, I performed the best I have in years (if not challenging for best ever). I only went one round, but that one round was glorious (and long!!). After round 1, I was kaput... worn out. In a hypothetical post-reboot, I think I would have been correctly wired up enough to go again, but I'm not there yet. Patience...
First time anything like this has ever happened... Glad it happened now. I needed a non PMO release after 21 days.
Last thing... the only negative side to this (which is not enough for me to regret anything) is that I now, at least for the time being, have a stronger desire to "release". It's like the sex woke my sex drive up or something. I think the flatline was helping me a bit, but now... at least for the moment, I'm very conscious of the desire to release. Now I think I understand why some say it's better to reboot without any O's at all... (because if you O, you'll probably feel the way I feel right now; unsettled and really longing for more. O's are like Lays potato chips, it's almost impossible to have just one. LOL). If there was a positive side... I'm desirous to be with the woman again... not watch her videos and be with "myself". Even now I remember what it felt like to be with her. I really think this is a big step in the direction of reconnecting physically with actual women. (it's just quite ironic that the women associated with the first step for me works in porn. I see what you did there Universe.. . ).
Anyway... that's what I got. No PMO, MO, or O streak continues. Pushing forward.
Guys... Brace yourselves... If you get triggered easily, you may not want to read the rest of this post...
OK... So look... Don't ask me how this managed to happen, but believe that I'm telling the truth... ) (Because I am...)
On day 21, I had sex with one of my favorite porn stars.
No... Real talk... I'm NOT joking. This shit actually happened!!! I didn't try to set this up, but it happened. !_!
I've given this a lot of thought, and I'm counting this as a win.
When I was with her, I wasn't closing my eyes imagining her in one of her scenes. I wasn't clinging to some ingrained memory of her that I've had stuck in my brain for years. I was actually thinking about the beautiful woman in front of me. Because the way this situation arose, I actually got to converse with her quite a bit about some real wold shit before things took this turn. I say this to say we made a connection and I actually felt like I was with a real person and not some real life figment of my imagination or some wonky hologram that I can through some manner of dark magic also touch.
Because I was thinking about the person I was with, and I actually felt some layer of emotional connection with her, I'm not counting this as porn (even though she's a porn star
). I'm counting this a real life person-to-person session of mutual enjoyment. My no PMO streak continues!!! I know... crazy. I'm still kind of shocked about it. After 21 days with no PMO, no MO, and no O at all, I was in rare form. In a sense, I performed the best I have in years (if not challenging for best ever). I only went one round, but that one round was glorious (and long!!).
After round 1, I was kaput... worn out. In a hypothetical post-reboot, I think I would have been correctly wired up enough to go again, but I'm not there yet. Patience...First time anything like this has ever happened... Glad it happened now. I needed a non PMO release after 21 days.
Last thing... the only negative side to this (which is not enough for me to regret anything) is that I now, at least for the time being, have a stronger desire to "release". It's like the sex woke my sex drive up or something. I think the flatline was helping me a bit, but now... at least for the moment, I'm very conscious of the desire to release. Now I think I understand why some say it's better to reboot without any O's at all... (because if you O, you'll probably feel the way I feel right now; unsettled and really longing for more. O's are like Lays potato chips, it's almost impossible to have just one. LOL). If there was a positive side... I'm desirous to be with the woman again... not watch her videos and be with "myself". Even now I remember what it felt like to be with her. I really think this is a big step in the direction of reconnecting physically with actual women. (it's just quite ironic that the women associated with the first step for me works in porn. I see what you did there Universe.. .
).Anyway... that's what I got. No PMO, MO, or O streak continues. Pushing forward.
Days 24 & 25 = Success!
A short update today because I'm very tired...
I believe I really am starting to see the benefits of the rebooting. 1) I am starting to have random / natural erections throughout the day (even though they are somewhat seldom at this point). 2) I have noticed that in reboot mode, I am aroused much more easily compared to the PMO days. 3) Generally speaking, I'm much more prone to notice the attractiveness of women in my vicinity.
All of these are good signs and welcome changes. I think these changes amount to significant positive reinforcement.
Pushing forward.
A short update today because I'm very tired...
I believe I really am starting to see the benefits of the rebooting. 1) I am starting to have random / natural erections throughout the day (even though they are somewhat seldom at this point). 2) I have noticed that in reboot mode, I am aroused much more easily compared to the PMO days. 3) Generally speaking, I'm much more prone to notice the attractiveness of women in my vicinity.
All of these are good signs and welcome changes. I think these changes amount to significant positive reinforcement.
Pushing forward.
Day 28 = Success!
I'm really starting to see some positive changes. I'll list a few:
- I've noticed that I'm much more sensitive to females in my vicinity. In a completely harmless way, part of my feels like a creeper because I now look at surrounding females in a sexual way much more often than I used to. I "catch" myself looking WAY more often. I went to a bar today and I swear the bartender caught me looking at her ass. I have a pleasant demeanor and I am also actually a pleasant person; I think the bartender got this vibe from me because once she saw me checking her out, she looked at me and smiled as if she was saying "you're cute and seem nice; I don't mind if you look"
- More natural/random erections are occurring. My constant flatline is diminishing. Very encouraging.
- I hope i'm not speaking too soon, but I think my body/brain has taken significant steps regarding not associating orgasms with porn. The conscious part of me feels as if my body/brain has given up on expecting the orgasm/porn pairing to re-occur. If true, this is very good and a huge step in the right direction.
- My single sexual experience so far in my reboot was with a girl and went pretty well; MUCH better than it would have gone pre-reboot mode (see day 21-23's post). This has encouraged me greatly. I do think that due to my PIED experiences, some performance anxiety ED perhaps may have creeped in as well. Due to my work so far with the reboot however, I'm more confident than even that when I do enter into a sexual encounter with a woman, 1) because of my limited sexual activity, I'll have more than enough sexual energy to get the job done and 2) I'll be more excited to see a naked woman that I have been in a long time.
If you are thinking about rebooting or in the midst of a reboot, I think a key milestone is making it to a point where you see some real and significant benefits and improvements to your life. I think that once you get to that point, the positive reinforcement that you'll get maybe enough to carry you the rest of the way (and at the very least it will help a little bit). This has happened for me and it's really helped me stay determined to do this.
Pushing forward.
I'm really starting to see some positive changes. I'll list a few:
- I've noticed that I'm much more sensitive to females in my vicinity. In a completely harmless way, part of my feels like a creeper because I now look at surrounding females in a sexual way much more often than I used to. I "catch" myself looking WAY more often.
I went to a bar today and I swear the bartender caught me looking at her ass. I have a pleasant demeanor and I am also actually a pleasant person; I think the bartender got this vibe from me because once she saw me checking her out, she looked at me and smiled as if she was saying "you're cute and seem nice; I don't mind if you look" - More natural/random erections are occurring. My constant flatline is diminishing. Very encouraging.
- I hope i'm not speaking too soon, but I think my body/brain has taken significant steps regarding not associating orgasms with porn. The conscious part of me feels as if my body/brain has given up on expecting the orgasm/porn pairing to re-occur. If true, this is very good and a huge step in the right direction.
- My single sexual experience so far in my reboot was with a girl and went pretty well; MUCH better than it would have gone pre-reboot mode (see day 21-23's post). This has encouraged me greatly. I do think that due to my PIED experiences, some performance anxiety ED perhaps may have creeped in as well. Due to my work so far with the reboot however, I'm more confident than even that when I do enter into a sexual encounter with a woman, 1) because of my limited sexual activity, I'll have more than enough sexual energy to get the job done and 2) I'll be more excited to see a naked woman that I have been in a long time.
If you are thinking about rebooting or in the midst of a reboot, I think a key milestone is making it to a point where you see some real and significant benefits and improvements to your life. I think that once you get to that point, the positive reinforcement that you'll get maybe enough to carry you the rest of the way (and at the very least it will help a little bit). This has happened for me and it's really helped me stay determined to do this.
Pushing forward.
Day 29, 30, & 31 = Success!
I can't believe I've made it a month. Pre-reboot mode, I would have said that making it a month without PMO'ing or MO'ing was approaching impossibility.
I thought that at this point (a month in), that I would essentially be on auto-pilot with not PMO'ing or MO'ing. Well... I was wrong. REALLY WRONG.
I probably had one of my worst nights last night. I went to bed a bit early, and as I was entering into my slumber, I was greeted with a massive erection; throbbingly profound. I was SO tempted to MO. I think the only think that saved me was thinking about how far I've come and how awesome I know my next sexual experience will be if I didn't cave to the temptation to MO.
While the temptation at times is still strong (and sometimes VERY strong as it was last night), I can still say that the benefits and potential benefits so far are outweighing the hard work of not caving in to PMO or MO. I'm not going to give an expansive list here, but honestly... this is enough: Guys... a month into this, I can honestly say that my erections are SIGNIFICANTLY stronger than they were pre-reboot mode. I'm talking about the natural (real women) / random erections of course (which pre-reboot mode, I didn't really even have anymore). The past 4 days or so... all of my erections have been throbbingly strong. It's been amazing. It's my recollection that it hasn't been this way for me since late middle school / high school. So yes... AMAZING progress.
What's keeping me going right now is 1) I love the feeling of having the libido of a young male just entering into puberty and 2) with how much I'm charged up, I have almost no doubt that my next sexual encounter will be amazing and that I will have no problem rising to the occasion. ( I haven't feel sure about that in a very long time )
Pushing forward.
I can't believe I've made it a month. Pre-reboot mode, I would have said that making it a month without PMO'ing or MO'ing was approaching impossibility.
I thought that at this point (a month in), that I would essentially be on auto-pilot with not PMO'ing or MO'ing. Well... I was wrong. REALLY WRONG.
I probably had one of my worst nights last night. I went to bed a bit early, and as I was entering into my slumber, I was greeted with a massive erection; throbbingly profound. I was SO tempted to MO. I think the only think that saved me was thinking about how far I've come and how awesome I know my next sexual experience will be if I didn't cave to the temptation to MO.
While the temptation at times is still strong (and sometimes VERY strong as it was last night), I can still say that the benefits and potential benefits so far are outweighing the hard work of not caving in to PMO or MO. I'm not going to give an expansive list here, but honestly... this is enough: Guys... a month into this, I can honestly say that my erections are SIGNIFICANTLY stronger than they were pre-reboot mode. I'm talking about the natural (real women) / random erections of course (which pre-reboot mode, I didn't really even have anymore). The past 4 days or so... all of my erections have been throbbingly strong. It's been amazing. It's my recollection that it hasn't been this way for me since late middle school / high school. So yes... AMAZING progress.
What's keeping me going right now is 1) I love the feeling of having the libido of a young male just entering into puberty and 2) with how much I'm charged up, I have almost no doubt that my next sexual encounter will be amazing and that I will have no problem rising to the occasion.
( I haven't feel sure about that in a very long time )Pushing forward.
Day 34 = Hard Earned Success!
So yeah... in my earlier posts, I often said something to the effect of "I'm almost certain that I'm in flatline mode". Well... I believe that 34 days in that I've perhaps passed that point and can now say that "I'm almost certain that my flatline mode is over".
The past 5 days or so have been full of natural / random erections. My guy is no where near lifeless; hell... for the past 5 days he's seemingly always at least half awake (if not fully awake).
While this is GREAT news, and one of the benefits I was hoping to gain from going through a reboot, this new found liveliness has made not PMOing and particularly not MOing MUCH more difficult. I swear there are times where I'm like 85% - 90% in regard to almost MOing, but so far I've been able to refocus and fight the urge. While more "difficult" however, I do feel that the habit of PMOing almost everyday may almost be broken.
I find that I'm now in a weird place though. By no means do I think I'm fully rebooted; but that being said, I now realize that one of my driving factors is that I want to keep going as long as the benefits keep coming. Well... I have NO idea how long that will be. Ideally, I want to give up PMOing and MOing all together as I think that will maximize my sexual experiences with real women. I think what this ultimately means however is that my habitual single life style may be over (because I need "releases") or that I may just end up having casual relations with women. We'll see how this plays out over time.
I needed to make this update sooner than I usually do to remain focused. Yeah... It's getting that tough. !_!
I may have an opportunity to release with a girl tomorrow. We'll see.
Pushing forward.
So yeah... in my earlier posts, I often said something to the effect of "I'm almost certain that I'm in flatline mode". Well... I believe that 34 days in that I've perhaps passed that point and can now say that "I'm almost certain that my flatline mode is over".
The past 5 days or so have been full of natural / random erections. My guy is no where near lifeless; hell... for the past 5 days he's seemingly always at least half awake (if not fully awake).
While this is GREAT news, and one of the benefits I was hoping to gain from going through a reboot, this new found liveliness has made not PMOing and particularly not MOing MUCH more difficult. I swear there are times where I'm like 85% - 90% in regard to almost MOing, but so far I've been able to refocus and fight the urge. While more "difficult" however, I do feel that the habit of PMOing almost everyday may almost be broken.
I find that I'm now in a weird place though. By no means do I think I'm fully rebooted; but that being said, I now realize that one of my driving factors is that I want to keep going as long as the benefits keep coming. Well... I have NO idea how long that will be.
Ideally, I want to give up PMOing and MOing all together as I think that will maximize my sexual experiences with real women. I think what this ultimately means however is that my habitual single life style may be over (because I need "releases") or that I may just end up having casual relations with women. We'll see how this plays out over time.I needed to make this update sooner than I usually do to remain focused. Yeah... It's getting that tough. !_!
I may have an opportunity to release with a girl tomorrow.
We'll see. Pushing forward.
Day 35, 36, & 37 = Success!
Not much to update... These days were not as bad as day #31 or #34.
Today, I had a very sexually suggestive talk with a female friend that I've known since middle school. I'm all but certain that pre-reboot mode, this conversation doesn't happen.
My behavior is changing. Consciously and (subconsciously I believe), I am much likely to put my self in a situation with a women that either would lead to flirting or is on it's very surface flirting. I'm also more quickly to enter into sexually suggestive situations verbally or through other means. This is good news. I've said this before, but my hope is that my brain has given up on PMO returning as a norm as has thus starting using that energy in different ways to push me down an alternative (and more natural) path. Oh how I hope this is true.
Pushing forward.
Not much to update... These days were not as bad as day #31 or #34.
Today, I had a very sexually suggestive talk with a female friend that I've known since middle school. I'm all but certain that pre-reboot mode, this conversation doesn't happen.
My behavior is changing. Consciously and (subconsciously I believe), I am much likely to put my self in a situation with a women that either would lead to flirting or is on it's very surface flirting. I'm also more quickly to enter into sexually suggestive situations verbally or through other means. This is good news. I've said this before, but my hope is that my brain has given up on PMO returning as a norm as has thus starting using that energy in different ways to push me down an alternative (and more natural) path. Oh how I hope this is true.
Pushing forward.
Day 38 & 39 = Success!
Oddly, day 38 was a bit of a flatlinish day, but last night... the night of day 39, was my most difficult reboot test so far I believe.
I was literally tossing and turning in my bed because I was so aroused that I could not pass into a sleep state. In addition to the several erections I had during the course of what felt like an 1h 30min to 2h (and probably was), I could FEEL the sexual energy pulsing through my veins. I felt like I had become some manner of sex beserker ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berserkers ).
I don't even remember overcoming this temptation... just outlasting it until I fell asleep. I've never had a wet dream (to my knowledge; I think I'd remember such a thing); I was sure that is was going to happen last night. It did not however.
While was a very difficult temptation to bear, it was a very enjoyable sensation (I felt I had just been subject to hours of fourplay). Interesting times indeed.
New territory. I can't believe I'm about to hit the 40 day mark.
Pushing forward.
Oddly, day 38 was a bit of a flatlinish day, but last night... the night of day 39, was my most difficult reboot test so far I believe.
I was literally tossing and turning in my bed because I was so aroused that I could not pass into a sleep state. In addition to the several erections I had during the course of what felt like an 1h 30min to 2h (and probably was), I could FEEL the sexual energy pulsing through my veins. I felt like I had become some manner of sex beserker ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berserkers ).
I don't even remember overcoming this temptation... just outlasting it until I fell asleep. I've never had a wet dream (to my knowledge; I think I'd remember such a thing); I was sure that is was going to happen last night. It did not however.
While was a very difficult temptation to bear, it was a very enjoyable sensation (I felt I had just been subject to hours of fourplay). Interesting times indeed.
New territory. I can't believe I'm about to hit the 40 day mark.
Pushing forward.
Day 40, 41, 42, & 43 = Success!
I had a quite crazy weekend so I'm just managing to make this update.
Potential triggers will be in the following paragraph... read at you own peril.
This past weekend, I had several sexual experiences and they all went quite well. In short, there was a night of intense bump and grind with a girl, full on sex with a girl, as well as a pretty awesome blowjob by a girl. All episodes went pretty well... I'm becoming more convinced that the reboot is working. I feel as if I'm now building a pattern of sexual success; this is great positive reinforcement. It's pretty cool to say that I'm approaching the 45 day point with no PMO or MO. Every O that has occurred since the reboot started was directly caused by a woman. This again is great process.
Releasing this weekend helped a good deal (because I really needed a release). I'm not sure when my next sexual episode will occur, but I'm very excited about making sure I'm ready for it. 3 cheers to rebooting!!! Hip... hip... hoorah!!!
Pushing forward.
I had a quite crazy weekend so I'm just managing to make this update.
Potential triggers will be in the following paragraph... read at you own peril.
This past weekend, I had several sexual experiences and they all went quite well. In short, there was a night of intense bump and grind with a girl, full on sex with a girl, as well as a pretty awesome blowjob by a girl. All episodes went pretty well... I'm becoming more convinced that the reboot is working. I feel as if I'm now building a pattern of sexual success; this is great positive reinforcement. It's pretty cool to say that I'm approaching the 45 day point with no PMO or MO. Every O that has occurred since the reboot started was directly caused by a woman. This again is great process.
Releasing this weekend helped a good deal (because I really needed a release). I'm not sure when my next sexual episode will occur, but I'm very excited about making sure I'm ready for it. 3 cheers to rebooting!!! Hip... hip... hoorah!!!
Pushing forward.
Day 44, 45, & 46 = Success!
Short update today because I'm super sleepy.
I believe I've hit a pretty good stride point. I believe that I've made a significant amount of progress towards making no PMO and no MO a habit. I'm managed to have some "releases" with some women as of late and that has definitely helped out with the sheer "I need to release" feeling. At this juncture, in regard to the reboot, it's almost as if the 2 or 3 days are passing by without me even noticing. I can barely believe it's been 46 days.
In retrospect, I think my PMO and MO lifestyle has really been fueled by convenience; it's just so easy to go that route because you essentially control all of the variables and can have that experience almost anytime you desire. Of course anyone that has explored this site or has visited yourbrainonporn.com knows that there is a HUGE trade off for this control and convenience. I for one have decided that the negative effects of PMO (and perhaps even MO as well) are too great so I've decided to give it up.
Other than those thoughts, I would say that I consciously realize that I'm noticing attractive women more often and moreover I'm thinking about some of them in a sexual way even when I'm not with them (not in a creeper way though ). This is good and healthy I believe. Slowly, but surely and noticeably, I am becoming more connected with real / in-my-life women. Good stuff.
Pushing forward.
Short update today because I'm super sleepy.
I believe I've hit a pretty good stride point. I believe that I've made a significant amount of progress towards making no PMO and no MO a habit. I'm managed to have some "releases" with some women as of late and that has definitely helped out with the sheer "I need to release" feeling. At this juncture, in regard to the reboot, it's almost as if the 2 or 3 days are passing by without me even noticing. I can barely believe it's been 46 days.
In retrospect, I think my PMO and MO lifestyle has really been fueled by convenience; it's just so easy to go that route because you essentially control all of the variables and can have that experience almost anytime you desire. Of course anyone that has explored this site or has visited yourbrainonporn.com knows that there is a HUGE trade off for this control and convenience. I for one have decided that the negative effects of PMO (and perhaps even MO as well) are too great so I've decided to give it up.
Other than those thoughts, I would say that I consciously realize that I'm noticing attractive women more often and moreover I'm thinking about some of them in a sexual way even when I'm not with them (not in a creeper way though
). This is good and healthy I believe. Slowly, but surely and noticeably, I am becoming more connected with real / in-my-life women. Good stuff.Pushing forward.
Day 47, 48, 49, 50 = Success!
50 days... I can't believe it.
At this point, I think I've almost broken the habit of PMO'ing. I would almost without fail PMO before I went to slept every night (almost as a sleeping pill) and I have not done that once since the start of my reboot. This is great progress.
After reading up on several sites, I know that it's really reboot AND rewire. I don't think I'm done rebooting yet, not even close, but I think I've entered into the "rewire" zone. I made it 21 days before I had sex with a girl; that was the longest "no O" stretch in my reboot so far. Since then, I wouldn't say I've had a lot of releases with women, but I've definitely had several (if I had one, it's documented in this journal. Which reminds me... add 2 more amazing blowjobs to the list ). These releases have definitely helped me with not PMO'ing or MOing; I just hope I didn't jump into rewire mode too soon (My sexual experiences during the reboot have all been above par and much improved so perhaps I'm doing ok; much improved erections and orgasms).
90 days no PMO or MO is not on my tracker, but that's what I'm going for (and hopefully then I can and will confidently say I'm done with PMO (AND MO) forever!!! (That's right... I even want to give up MO).
Pushing forward.
50 days... I can't believe it.
At this point, I think I've almost broken the habit of PMO'ing. I would almost without fail PMO before I went to slept every night (almost as a sleeping pill) and I have not done that once since the start of my reboot. This is great progress.
After reading up on several sites, I know that it's really reboot AND rewire. I don't think I'm done rebooting yet, not even close, but I think I've entered into the "rewire" zone. I made it 21 days before I had sex with a girl; that was the longest "no O" stretch in my reboot so far. Since then, I wouldn't say I've had a lot of releases with women, but I've definitely had several (if I had one, it's documented in this journal. Which reminds me... add 2 more amazing blowjobs to the list
). These releases have definitely helped me with not PMO'ing or MOing; I just hope I didn't jump into rewire mode too soon (My sexual experiences during the reboot have all been above par and much improved so perhaps I'm doing ok; much improved erections and orgasms).90 days no PMO or MO is not on my tracker, but that's what I'm going for (and hopefully then I can and will confidently say I'm done with PMO (AND MO) forever!!! (That's right... I even want to give up MO).
Pushing forward.
Day 51 & 52 = Success!
Not much to update. I'm a bit flatllinish right now, but I don't think I would describe it as the flatlining I experienced early on (First 2 - 3 weeks or so). I'm a bit flat, but it's not like life-less flat (like it was at the start of the reboot); more of a I just had a release not to long ago "flat" (if that makes sense).
Whatever the case, even at this juncture, I'm embracing the flatlinish experiences I'm having; in many ways, they honestly make the reboot a lot easier at times (even though it was QUITE disconcerting early on as I mentioned; the desire to "test" to make sure I was "ok" was VERY strong early on).
I really feel like I've broken the habit of PMOing now. I almost don't even consider/register it as an option at this point. Hopefully my resolve will stay this strong going forward.
Perhaps I'll have a release with a girl tomorrow; friend's coming into town. . Right now I'm just relishing in the fact that I haven't been personally responsible for an orgasm that I have received for 52 days now. Trying to keep the streak going.
Pushing Forward.
Not much to update. I'm a bit flatllinish right now, but I don't think I would describe it as the flatlining I experienced early on (First 2 - 3 weeks or so). I'm a bit flat, but it's not like life-less flat (like it was at the start of the reboot); more of a I just had a release not to long ago "flat" (if that makes sense).
Whatever the case, even at this juncture, I'm embracing the flatlinish experiences I'm having; in many ways, they honestly make the reboot a lot easier at times (even though it was QUITE disconcerting early on as I mentioned; the desire to "test" to make sure I was "ok" was VERY strong early on).
I really feel like I've broken the habit of PMOing now. I almost don't even consider/register it as an option at this point. Hopefully my resolve will stay this strong going forward.
Perhaps I'll have a release with a girl tomorrow; friend's coming into town.
. Right now I'm just relishing in the fact that I haven't been personally responsible for an orgasm that I have received for 52 days now. Trying to keep the streak going.Pushing Forward.
Day 53 = Success!
Only one update... I just received the best blowjob of my life. Thanks V. It was so good... It was like... the truth. No joke... Still shaking...
My next sentiment is hard to gauge because it's not like I have the ability to scientifically and historically measure the quality of my orgasms, but from what I glean from my memory\experiences, the reboot so far has significantly increased the quality of my orgasms. While I'm sure going longer without an O ups the ante, and while in the case of above mentioned O one must consider that it was delivered by a sex goddess among mere women, in my mind there is no question that there has been a significant increase in the quality of my "base level" orgasm.
The Takeway? This reboot so far, while very challenging at times, and even at this somewhat early juncture, has changed my sex life for the better in a significant way.
Definitely pushing forward (and you should too).
Only one update... I just received the best blowjob of my life. Thanks V. It was so good... It was like... the truth. No joke... Still shaking...
My next sentiment is hard to gauge because it's not like I have the ability to scientifically and historically measure the quality of my orgasms, but from what I glean from my memory\experiences, the reboot so far has significantly increased the quality of my orgasms. While I'm sure going longer without an O ups the ante, and while in the case of above mentioned O one must consider that it was delivered by a sex goddess among mere women, in my mind there is no question that there has been a significant increase in the quality of my "base level" orgasm.
The Takeway? This reboot so far, while very challenging at times, and even at this somewhat early juncture, has changed my sex life for the better in a significant way.
Definitely pushing forward (and you should too).
Day 54 through 60 = Success!
I have several thoughts to share at this point:
1) I think at this point in the reboot, I'm going to start making less frequent updates on this blog. I enjoy recording my thoughts, but I believe making so many frequent updates at this point makes it too easy to "count the days". 60 days is a huge accomplishment for me. From here on out however, I'm less concerned with number of days and more concerned about trying to ingrain this new behavior into my new lifestyle. Am I going to be counting days @ day 102, or 147, or 208? I don't think so. So... I'm not counting days any longer in an attempt to try to merge into that non-counting days world. I'll still post, but less often and generally when I have something to say. If I ever truly sign off I'll say so.
*Don't get me wrong... this isn't a bash on the counters. I think they are a great idea and helped me a lot. For me however, I think their primary use is early on in the reboot to keep you amped, focused, and to provide a sense of accomplishment. Do whatever works for you.*
2) I don't think think I'm fully rebooted, but I think that if there was such a thing as a "Phase 1", I think I may have just completed it. If there was a "Phase 1", I would define it as Phase 1: The Reboot:
- breaking the PMO \ MO habit
- fighting through some flatining
- forgetting what it feels like to touch yourself in a sexual way
- body\brain becomes extremely doubtful that the PMO will return
- body\brain starts reacting\rewiring because of this doubt and the brain starts steering you down alternative routes for release (i.e. noticing and reacting to attractive females in your vicinity)
- strong need for release is present more often
- sensitivity down below is returned\enhanced to the point where a women with even a fair sexual skillset and a smidgen of effort will be able to get you off with out worry.
The good news is that I have gone through and accomplished the above. That's where I'm at right now. (See my first post to see what a mess I was in when I started. lol ) I could honestly just cheer for days for just getting to this point (when I REALLY think about it, I do cheer a bit. ). All of that being said, I think to really take this reboot to the next level and finish this thing out, I have to enter and complete what I'm calling... wait for it... Phase 2: The Rewire:
- Continue to even try harder to avoid all "false" sexual stimulation
- Strive to have all of your sexual encounters with women be coupled with a strong emotional \ personal attraction to them and only them.
- Forget what it's like to rely on PMO or MO for releases and learn to not consider going back to that an option.... ever.
At this point in the reboot, I have not PMO'd or MO'd for 60 days. In the past 20 days or so however, I have had a significant amount of sexual encounters; all of whom went pretty well. Mostly the oral variety, but there was a bit of the full-on stuff as well. Pre-reboot, this would have not occurred because 1) PMOing significantly subdued my libido and I had a more cerebral attraction to real women rather than a physical one, and 2) I experienced pretty significant PIED so the performance aspects of things wouldn't have lined up. So self-high five for all of that... cheers indeed.
As great as these sexual experiences were however (and some where truly great), I don't think they are the pinnacle for me. I'm not a super lovey-dovey person... not at all.... but even I believe that sexual encounters are the most special and most intense when you share those experiences with a person that you have a very strong emotional and personal bond with. My experiences in this reboot where with cool down to earth girls, but I would not say that I shared this type of strong emotional\personal bond with them. 60 days in... I'm now willing to concede a conclusion that I was initially very reluctant to accept... If I'm serious about rebooting (and more precisely this rewire stage), I'm going to have to break my habit of singleness and get a girlfriend.
I've had two significant relationships in my past, and while both went well and I don't feel emotionally scarred or anything like that, I've entered into a very habitual single life. Partly because of my personality, my work, moving, PMO'ing, etc.. too many things to list. The point is... I think sex really should be a special thing shared by people who are special to each other. While I have friends and a pretty good social life, I do not have that "special someone" in my life. To really put a nail in this reboot\rewire... I think I need to find "that special someone" (or at least "a special someone"). Forgive my french, but you guys knowwhat I mean... less "fucking" and more kissing \ holding \ cuddling \ embracing \ intimacy \ four play \ love-making etc. (P.S. Trust me... I know it when I said it... Disney shit. lol )
So yeah.... that's where I am with this. Wordy, I know... but I had a lot to say.
This reboot has changed me. Not only have my physical encounters with women changed (for the better), my behavior and thoughts towards women (and other things) have changed as well. Wow... some serious shit right there. !_!
Anyways... Pushing forward.
I have several thoughts to share at this point:
1) I think at this point in the reboot, I'm going to start making less frequent updates on this blog. I enjoy recording my thoughts, but I believe making so many frequent updates at this point makes it too easy to "count the days". 60 days is a huge accomplishment for me. From here on out however, I'm less concerned with number of days and more concerned about trying to ingrain this new behavior into my new lifestyle. Am I going to be counting days @ day 102, or 147, or 208? I don't think so. So... I'm not counting days any longer in an attempt to try to merge into that non-counting days world. I'll still post, but less often and generally when I have something to say. If I ever truly sign off I'll say so.
*Don't get me wrong... this isn't a bash on the counters. I think they are a great idea and helped me a lot. For me however, I think their primary use is early on in the reboot to keep you amped, focused, and to provide a sense of accomplishment. Do whatever works for you.*
2) I don't think think I'm fully rebooted, but I think that if there was such a thing as a "Phase 1", I think I may have just completed it. If there was a "Phase 1", I would define it as Phase 1: The Reboot:
- breaking the PMO \ MO habit
- fighting through some flatining
- forgetting what it feels like to touch yourself in a sexual way
- body\brain becomes extremely doubtful that the PMO will return
- body\brain starts reacting\rewiring because of this doubt and the brain starts steering you down alternative routes for release (i.e. noticing and reacting to attractive females in your vicinity)
- strong need for release is present more often
- sensitivity down below is returned\enhanced to the point where a women with even a fair sexual skillset and a smidgen of effort will be able to get you off with out worry.
The good news is that I have gone through and accomplished the above. That's where I'm at right now.
(See my first post to see what a mess I was in when I started. lol ) I could honestly just cheer for days for just getting to this point (when I REALLY think about it, I do cheer a bit. ). All of that being said, I think to really take this reboot to the next level and finish this thing out, I have to enter and complete what I'm calling... wait for it... Phase 2: The Rewire:- Continue to even try harder to avoid all "false" sexual stimulation
- Strive to have all of your sexual encounters with women be coupled with a strong emotional \ personal attraction to them and only them.
- Forget what it's like to rely on PMO or MO for releases and learn to not consider going back to that an option.... ever.
At this point in the reboot, I have not PMO'd or MO'd for 60 days. In the past 20 days or so however, I have had a significant amount of sexual encounters; all of whom went pretty well. Mostly the oral variety, but there was a bit of the full-on stuff as well. Pre-reboot, this would have not occurred because 1) PMOing significantly subdued my libido and I had a more cerebral attraction to real women rather than a physical one, and 2) I experienced pretty significant PIED so the performance aspects of things wouldn't have lined up. So self-high five for all of that... cheers indeed.
As great as these sexual experiences were however (and some where truly great), I don't think they are the pinnacle for me. I'm not a super lovey-dovey person... not at all.... but even I believe that sexual encounters are the most special and most intense when you share those experiences with a person that you have a very strong emotional and personal bond with. My experiences in this reboot where with cool down to earth girls, but I would not say that I shared this type of strong emotional\personal bond with them. 60 days in... I'm now willing to concede a conclusion that I was initially very reluctant to accept... If I'm serious about rebooting (and more precisely this rewire stage), I'm going to have to break my habit of singleness and get a girlfriend.
I've had two significant relationships in my past, and while both went well and I don't feel emotionally scarred or anything like that, I've entered into a very habitual single life. Partly because of my personality, my work, moving, PMO'ing, etc.. too many things to list. The point is... I think sex really should be a special thing shared by people who are special to each other. While I have friends and a pretty good social life, I do not have that "special someone" in my life. To really put a nail in this reboot\rewire... I think I need to find "that special someone" (or at least "a special someone"). Forgive my french, but you guys knowwhat I mean... less "fucking" and more kissing \ holding \ cuddling \ embracing \ intimacy \ four play \ love-making etc. (P.S. Trust me... I know it when I said it... Disney shit. lol
)So yeah.... that's where I am with this.
Wordy, I know... but I had a lot to say. This reboot has changed me. Not only have my physical encounters with women changed (for the better), my behavior and thoughts towards women (and other things) have changed as well. Wow... some serious shit right there. !_!
Anyways... Pushing forward.
